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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be a bit ambivalent about the Pads4Dads campaign..

186 replies

BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 08:51

[https://www.heygirls.co.uk/pads-for-dads/ here]

On the one hand, obviously it’s great for fathers to be more involved and understanding, and obviously some girls don’t have a mum or an aunt or anyone. But I can’t help thinking that it’s all a bit cosmetic-a bit “hey look what a cool dad I am buying tampax” Ticking the “good dad” box. And what’s wrong with some things being women only anyway?

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 08:52

sorry,here

OP posts:
lyralalala · 15/03/2019 08:56

There are things that should be women only, but imo knowledge about periods isn’t one of them.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 15/03/2019 08:56

You have answered your own question. Some things can't be women only because the person doesn't have a women to help them with it.

This is great - Dads should know and if this helps them start a conversation with their daughter then all good imo.

DoneLikeAKipper · 15/03/2019 08:57

Perhaps they should rename it Get A Grip For Dads. The information is already out there, if they’re adult enough to look for it. As for the embarrassment of buying sanity products, how do they think girls and women manage it without cringing into the ground? No one gives a shit that you’re buying Tampax mate, even if you do have a mighty penis Hmm.

It’s like a website version of Periods for Dummies, patronising and yet again making periods a ‘thing’ when it doesn’t need to be.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2019 08:57

I think it's a really good campaign.

It's always going to come into some criticism as all campaigns do. You can't please everyone.

And what’s wrong with some things being women only anyway?

You answered your own question in your OP. Some girls don't have any women close enough to them, to want to talk to them about periods.

Hot4Holes · 15/03/2019 08:57

I can’t see the issue. I think it’s a great idea and can’t find much to criticise

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2019 09:00

No one gives a shit that you’re buying Tampax mate, even if you do have a mighty penis Hmm

See this ^^ sort of thing is what I mean by criticism.

There's a lot of information out there about everything but that doesn't mean campaigns don't have their place.

Also, there are still some cultures where girls/women are taught to be ashamed of their periods and I think campaigns like this, help to get rid of that stigma.

WeirdCatLady · 15/03/2019 09:01

FFS, I remember even back in the 1970’s it was not astounding that my father would have no problem pop out to the shops if either his wife or one of two daughters needed sanpro buying, he was also a dab hand at bringing a nice hot toddy for period pain.

And now my husband does the same for me and his daughter. Surely it’s just normal?

It astounds me that anyone considers this a strange thing for a man to know about!

CrimpMyArse · 15/03/2019 09:02

It looks awesome. I can’t see anything bad about it at all.

Might get a pack for my other half actually. It’s so normalised for Dads to be excluded either actively or unintentionally from those conversations.

JassyRadlett · 15/03/2019 09:02

To be honest, the less that some things are ‘secret women’s business’ that make men feel icky and uncomfortable the easier it will be for women to be able to talk about these issues when they are affected - their husbands taking them seriously, being able to talk to male bosses about related health issues, etc. At some point if it’s out in the open a bit more doctors might even take health issues related to periods a little more seriously.

I don’t much care if a guy does this to tick the ‘good dad box’ (and wanting to be a better parent is surely something to be celebrated, not denigrated?) If the outcome is that he’s a more fully involved and supportive parent to his daughters, then that’s what matters.

KennDodd · 15/03/2019 09:03

I think it's good. Apart from the 'Hey Girls' bit.

TheSerenDipitY · 15/03/2019 09:04

lol this reminds me of my daughter... when she was 11 she went to Canada with her great grandfather, we packed pads in her luggage and explained that if t happens when shes away here they are etc etc etc, as soon as she got to Canada she explained it all to her great grand father and how shes got it covered and he wasnt to worry.... he was so mortified... not something hes ever discussed in his entire life id imagine

Littleraindrop15 · 15/03/2019 09:06

I think it's great, educating men on periods and breaking that 'embarrassed' feeling around periods when it's part of life is a step forward for women.

I grew up quite embarrassed of periods and would feel uncomfortable if a boy or male was with me whilst picking up sanitary towels.. So I find this great

TixieLix · 15/03/2019 09:08

My DDs 20yr old BF is great. If she couldn't get to the shop and needed pads urgently, he wouldn't bat an eyelid at going and getting them for her. I don't think we should wait until men are dads to teach them to be comfortable buying sanitary products. They should be taught when they are teenage boys that periods and sanitary products are normal and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, so that they can support their future wives/partners/girlfriends/daughters.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2019 09:08

We think it’s a bit nuts that around half the population has a period almost every month, but that they can still be seen as secret and shameful
This!! So anything that works on that is surely a plus?

And what’s wrong with some things being women only anyway? because at 12 I was still financially dependent on my Dad. Internet didn't exist. Who exactly did you want to buy me sanitary towels and talk about it all? Who did you expect to buy me sanitary stuff?

It’s like a website version of Periods for Dummies, patronising and yet again making periods a ‘thing’ when it doesn’t need to be but they ARE a thing to the 7 - 16 Yr old whose just started having her period!

DoneLikeAKipper · 15/03/2019 09:11

There's a lot of information out there about everything but that doesn't mean campaigns don't have their place.

Yes, but this campaign is some sort of men’s ‘safety zone’ of discussion of the ‘embarrassment’ of periods. It (to me) is undermining the whole push of ‘periods are normal’. Why on earth do men need a special campaign to understand periods?

I personally feel the whole thing is taking a step backwards, seems very ‘now blokes, we all know about women and their problems Wink, but let’s do them a bit of a favour and learn a little bit about it, since you obviously totally switch off in biology/sex ed when it was first being taught’.

WolfhoundsofLove · 15/03/2019 09:11

TheSerenDipitY Grin that’s hilarious. This campaign is bloody great imo.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2019 09:12

Exactly Sleeping of course they're a 'thing' and they're a much bigger thing to embarrassed girls and boys.

Hence the need for this really good campaign.

Ghanagirl · 15/03/2019 09:12

@TheSerenDipitY
Your daughter sends sweet😊

Ghanagirl · 15/03/2019 09:12

Sounds!

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2019 09:14

Perhaps they should rename it Get A Grip For Dads. The information is already out there, if they’re adult enough to look for it

Presumably whenever anyone in here asks how to get red wine out of their top or if this constitutes abuse or anything in between, you tell them to get a grip and the information is already out there too?

Njordsgrrrl · 15/03/2019 09:14

I'm on the fence too. It often astounds me how much women do shield from men, leading to the that teacher telling a girl to "just hold it in" Gin

And then I imagine how different it would be if it was the other way round. They'd probably get super competitive about it and swagger around in giant pads to draw attention to it.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2019 09:15

To be honest DoneLikeAKipper you're coming across on this thread as just quite derisive of men in general.

It seems no matter what they do, you're going to get angry and be a bit prejudiced about it.

DoneLikeAKipper · 15/03/2019 09:15

but they ARE a thing to the 7 - 16 Yr old whose just started having her period!

Yes, my point was that it shouldn’t be a thing for any grown adult to talk about or even worry talking about. Adults are there to put the young girl at ease and shouldn’t need an entire campaign directed at them to do so.

Babdoc · 15/03/2019 09:17

There used to be very definite stigma and embarrassment about purchasing sanpro in the 1970’s.
When I was ill, my boyfriend (later DH) went to Boots to buy tampons for me. The girl on the till raised her eyebrows at him and pulled a puzzled smirk.
DH was autistic, so lacked the social conditioning and embarrassment of the times. He beamed and explained cheerily:” It’s okay, they’re not for me. I haven’t got a nosebleed or anything!”
The girl apparently turned crimson and hastily flung them in a bag!
I think all dads should learn to be matter of fact about periods. Girls have enough sexist shit to cope with growing up, without having to hide sanpro from men and be ashamed of menstruation.