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Original poster

to be a bit ambivalent about the Pads4Dads campaign..

186 replies

BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 08:51

[https://www.heygirls.co.uk/pads-for-dads/ here]

On the one hand, obviously it’s great for fathers to be more involved and understanding, and obviously some girls don’t have a mum or an aunt or anyone. But I can’t help thinking that it’s all a bit cosmetic-a bit “hey look what a cool dad I am buying tampax” Ticking the “good dad” box. And what’s wrong with some things being women only anyway?

OP posts:
Weetabixandshreddies · 15/03/2019 10:08

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but I think some women don't want men to move forward so that they can keep saying that women get such a bad deal in life.

So much this. Same as when people moan about OH not doing something, then when they do it they get moaned at for not doing it properly (they've done a perfectly good job, just not the way that their partner does it). That then gives the partner the opportunity to die on the alter of martyrdom by complaining that they have to do everything.

Parent19876 · 15/03/2019 10:09

I think it's a fantastic thing...
A lot of the men who are having teenagers were never taught anything about female reproductivity, and might be too ashamed to reach out, they could have lost a spouse, etc etc. There are so many different reasons.
This just opens up the airwaves so much, and gets rid of the taboo that is unfortunately still floating around.
Yes, I think sex ed is becoming more and more an open subject, and hopefully the generations to come won't have the issue, but for the older generations (or those who haven't had the resources) it's absolutely fantastic.

Ceebs85 · 15/03/2019 10:10

I think it's bloody (haha) brilliant.

Insecure123 · 15/03/2019 10:13

Yea that's it rocky! Can picture them taking a selfie with the packet and hashtagging it on FB with loads of "oh such a good dad" comments.

I think the hashtags would go along the lines of #realman #topdad/husband #nobigdeal and sit back and wait for all the likes and welldones lol

Sorry it's not fair to want to encourage men in this aspect then rip them at the mere notion that they might but it did make me chuckle!

I am quite sure the campaign will give help and support where it is needed and I can only see that as a good thing

MadCattery · 15/03/2019 10:13

My former husband would pick them up whenever needed. He said "People know they aren't for me. So, it's like a big neon sign saying I HAVE A WOMAN!" He had a great sense of humor.

cranstonmanor · 15/03/2019 10:22

Most men I know are fine with buying sanpro.... I must have found my people.

I remember my dad telling about the time he went to get condoms. An hour later he went back for sanpro and lice treatment. The woman at the till joked that his weekend plans were shot. He just had a good laugh about it.

RockyFlintstone · 15/03/2019 10:25

Yea that's it rocky! Can picture them taking a selfie with the packet and hashtagging it on FB with loads of "oh such a good dad" comments.

I thought the 'of daughters' had done this so I had a look and lo and behold!

It's more of a stealth boast than an outright one, but still Grin

to be a bit ambivalent about the Pads4Dads campaign..
to be a bit ambivalent about the Pads4Dads campaign..
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 10:26

I don’t line the “bloody conversation flowing” language. And I am pretty sure the average 10 year old wouldn’t either.

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 10:28

Mind you @RockyFlintstone- maybe reading the campaign literature might be a good idea before you write your next book. Vaginal lids, indeed!

OP posts:
Meandmetoo · 15/03/2019 10:29

He's missing the chocolate bar off that tray Hmm Grin

PinkBuffalo · 15/03/2019 10:33

I feel I was so lucky to have my dad who dealt with all the period drama when I went went though it. My mum was/is severely disabled so wasn't able to do this. Dad was not phased at all and when I was getting stressed at talking to him about he just said "look, I've been married twice, I've dealt with all this before so don't worry" and we had a good laugh. He did all the bedding washing etc when leaks happened without blinking an eye. Even as an adult, he would commiserate with me when it was a bad month.
I imagine a girl who isn't as lucky to have a dad such as mine, and if this would help her dad/uncle/grandad or whoever looks after her, then it can only be a good thing?
Probably why I'm never going to have a partner - no man could possibly live up to be the man my dad was

ClaireElizabethBeuchampFraser · 15/03/2019 10:36

There are single Dads out there, taking care of their dd’s alone, with no Mother to talk to their dd’s about periods! This campaign is perfect for those Dads! Not every family is the same, if a Dad is covering both the Mum role and the Dad role, then I think it’s fantastic that there are people out there who care enough to support them!

It’s not about praising men for buying pads, it’s about helping Dads who have to support their daughters alone. I intend to send it to my dh, I have talked periods with my dd (9) and will discuss it with her whenever she needs to. But I think it’s important that if my dd is out with her Dad and starts, that he knows how to support her.

RockyFlintstone · 15/03/2019 10:39

Mind you @RockyFlintstone- maybe reading the campaign literature might be a good idea before you write your next book. Vaginal lids, indeed!

What do you mean Bertrand, cervix grabbing is totally a thing isn't it?! 😂

ClaireElizabethBeuchampFraser · 15/03/2019 10:39

PinkBuffalo your post warmed my heart! I am severely disabled and my dh is an amazing Daddy/ Dad to my dd and ds! I hope my dd continues to love and treasure her Daddy, the way you clearly treasure your Dad!

RockyFlintstone · 15/03/2019 10:42

I feel I was so lucky to have my dad who dealt with all the period drama when I went went though it.

'Period drama' reminds me of when DH and I first started going out and were at it a lot, and then when I had my period I would wear Pyjamas as a 'not tonight hun' signal, and he used to say I was in 'period costume' Grin

Your dad sounds awesome by the way, there are loads of great guys out there Smile

KittyMarrion · 15/03/2019 10:51

Unfortunately we do need campaigns like this. I'm saying that not because I think it's cringey but because of the stigma attached to periods. Because of period poverty, because of missed days of school due to periods and because we have to pay fucking Vat on on sanitary protection. These are all feminist issues and we need to be fucking furious about them in order to facilitate change. Of course it impacts on men too so why shouldn't they be part of the solution. If you feel embarrassed by it you need to ask yourself why. Periods are an everyday thing and should be no more shameful than having a cold.

KittyMarrion · 15/03/2019 10:56

@worraliberty I completely agree with that there is a lot more to this than buying a few pads.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/03/2019 11:03

I find it another example of babying and spoon feeding information to blokes that women had to figure out themselves without getting a pat on the head for being so ‘aware’ so you disagree with any programmes around breast cancer, cervical / ovarian cancer, domestic abuse, period poverty, FGM too? I mean, the info is out there. We shouldn't need posters and promotions about this stuff, wo can just go Google it.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 15/03/2019 11:07

Kitty I agree with you but really the whole thing needs to be much more radical, and I think what some women on this thread are depressed about is how congratulatory so many women are about this campaign. I can see that there are many crap and useless men, husbands, fathers, out there who need this kind of thing rammed down their throat but I'm buggered if I'm going to celebrate that fact - that we have the bar set so low for men in our society.

KittyMarrion · 15/03/2019 11:14

WeepingWillow nor am I going to congratulate men for talking about periods, buying tampons or looking after their own children. I agree that should be the norm unfortunately at the moment it's not and we have to accept reality as it is not fight against it. Plus who holds all the power in our society? White, Middle class, cis gendered men. So if some change starts on this issue with them even if some people feel it is a bit smug isn't it better than nothing. Periods are still a massive taboo.

JacquesHammer · 15/03/2019 11:16

I agree with you but really the whole thing needs to be much more radical, and I think what some women on this thread are depressed about is how congratulatory so many women are about this campaign

I wouldn’t say I’m congratulatory. In an ideal world would it be needed? Absolutely not.

That said, if the campaign does make a difference to the lives of young girls/women I won’t complain about it.

KittyMarrion · 15/03/2019 11:20

That's how I feel JacquesHammer.

Eliza9917 · 15/03/2019 11:25

That website just creeped me out.

"Tampons can be painful to use at first, don't push it"

And what the fuck is in the kit for dads?

The whole thing is a bit cringe.

DoneLikeAKipper · 15/03/2019 11:27

so you disagree with any programmes around breast cancer, cervical / ovarian cancer, domestic abuse, period poverty, FGM too? I mean, the info is out there. We shouldn't need posters and promotions about this stuff, wo can just go Google it.

Yes, but those campaigns are not specific to one sex are they? They don’t campaign for breast cancer awareness ‘just for women’, for example. Or should we have to specifically say ‘for men’ as a separate campaign for each of those things, just for them to ‘get it’?

Campaign for information on periods and breaking taboo certainly, make sure that education on the matter is equally taught in all schools, absolutely. I just think it’s not to be applauded that we have to add a ‘for men’ aspect about something that is affecting half of the entire human population, for a minority to actually pay attention or learn about periods.

Thurmanmurman · 15/03/2019 11:32

I think it’s a good thing. I remember being about 15 and asking my dad to pick me up some tampons when he went to the supermarket. He was absolutely horrified and refused! He’s not a horrible dad but said he would be too embarrassed. This was about 25 years ago so I’m glad that attitudes have changed, my DH doesn’t bat an eyelid at buying them.

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