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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a teacher should not call a pupil an idiot!

277 replies

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 14/03/2019 17:10

Year 7, ds was messing with some magnet balls which he'd taken in without me knowing (he's not taking them into school again).
He got given a warning, and then second warning which means detention. I have no issue with this, he should do as he's told, but my issue is, he asked if he should take his stuff with him (at the end of the lesson when he'd been referred), the teacher replied "take your paper you idiot".
I have actually emailed the school to ask, and just been brushed off really. Aibu?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 16:44

Do to control a class you need to belittle them and call them names?

Qwertylass · 15/03/2019 16:46

If they are acting idiotically they need to be told

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 16:48

What the OPs son did was really not that big a deal, it had also been delt with, and he was given a punishment. The name calling didn't come until after the incident had been delt with.

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 16:49

He wasn't told he was being an idiot for the incident itself, he was told to "take your paper with you idiot". That's acceptable?

Qwertylass · 15/03/2019 16:49

So?

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 15/03/2019 16:50

I work in a school. It's not ok. We might think it, you might mutter it under your breath but it's not ok to say it.

We wouldn't turn a blind eye to kids calling eachother an idiot so why have lower standards for the adults? Adults that are supposed to lead and teach by example.

Yes OP's kid was a bit of a twat. He was sanctioned for it. There is no need to call them names too.

I've been called names or sworn at. As an adult I hold myself to a higher standard than a silly , immature kid. I somehow manage not to call them names back (at least not to their face Grin).

Qwertylass · 15/03/2019 16:50

No that is not acceptable but the teacher has probably had 6 months of this nonsense

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 16:51

So, what? I'm not sure what your question is.

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 16:53

Well now you are jumping to wild conclusions. Even if the teacher has had 6 months of it, the have a duty of care to these children, they are not there to belittle them.

Qwertylass · 15/03/2019 16:54

I'm sure they have been called worse than an idiot

Missmarplesknitting · 15/03/2019 16:55

Totally agree. It's not ok to say it. I have said "stop behaving like that, I know you can do better and I expect better than this idiotic behaviour"

There's a world of difference between that and actually calling a child an idiot. That's not acceptable. You have to separate the child from the behaviour.

The behaviour is a problem. The child is not.

I was told I was an effing bitch because I followed school policy and gave detention for multiple misdemeanours.....I tried, repeatedly to give the girl a chance and time to rectify and change her behaviour but nope. I'm sure it's hormones plus all sorts of other stuff causing the mardy attitude but it is still really hard when there's no real come back on the kids for being utterly vile to teachers.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/03/2019 16:55

Drogosnextwife
It's the context in which it was used.

We don't know the context in which it was used. We do know that the child was told off three times and when asked to leave the classroom he disrupted the lesson further.

Frankly if "idiot" upsets you, you really don't want to know what teachers call the persistently disruptive kids behind their backs.

Basically what is happening here (even when you take out the language that you don't like) is that people are against those in the class that disrupt their child's education, and the main problem is that its the same children that disrupt every single week.

Pinkyyy · 15/03/2019 16:57

To be quite honest, if I told you some of the names I hear students call teachers, you'd think 'idiot' was a compliment.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 15/03/2019 17:02

Pinky so should we go for tit for tat?

Qwertylass · 15/03/2019 17:04

I don't get paid enough to be told to piss off.

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 17:06

BoneyBackJefferson

As a pp said, teachers might say it behind kids backs or have a moan to other teachers about certain pupils but it should not be said to the child's face.

And we do know the context, the OP told us exactly the phrase that was said and it's unacceptable.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 15/03/2019 17:07

I don't get paid enough to be told to piss off.

You don't get paid enough for a lot of the shit you do,see,hear and put up with. That much is true.

Drogosnextwife · 15/03/2019 17:20

A lot of people don't get paid enough to put up with the things they have to.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/03/2019 17:30

Drogosnextwife

And we do know the context, the OP told us exactly the phrase that was said and it's unacceptable.

Actually we don't, we know what a child has told his mum after he got in to trouble. Not the most reliable of sources.

I await the claims of calling a child a liar.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 15/03/2019 17:30

Basically what is happening here (even when you take out the language that you don't like) is that people are against those in the class that disrupt their child's education, and the main problem is that its the same children that disrupt every single week.

But how is calling someone an idiot going to help with that? It’s not going make that child better behaved?

Calling names is the last resort of someone who cannot control a situation and is a massive sign of weakness. This teacher is not doing herself any favours.

I’m so glad my children are out of school now.

SmileEachDay · 15/03/2019 17:31

And we do know the context, the OP told us exactly the phrase that was said and it's unacceptable

The OP told us what her child told her was said. None of us were there.

Missmarplesknitting · 15/03/2019 17:32

We don't know the kid was actually called that.
We know that's what they told their mum.

I suspect it was more "don't act like an idiot" and it's been misheard or misinterpreted?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 15/03/2019 17:38

I have actually emailed the school to ask, and just been brushed off really. Aibu?

It’s his is what OP says. The school wouldn’t have just brushed the matter off, they would have disputed it strongly had the teacher said something else.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/03/2019 17:58

ChardonnaysPrettySister

But how is calling someone an idiot going to help with that?

Again we don't know what was said

The school wouldn’t have just brushed the matter off, they would have disputed it strongly had the teacher said something else.

Actually it doesn't, it means that the school rightly or wrongly CBA to argue the point i.e

OP : My child says
Teacher : But I didn't
OP : but my child says

etc.

as for didn't argue strongly enough, I've seen to many people point out that arguing strongly would be an admission of guilt.

Its a can't win situation as the OP says "was brushed off"

Goldmandra · 15/03/2019 18:27

Again we don't know what was said

We don't know anything for sure. It's pretty pointless posting on MN threads about which bits of the OP might not be true.

The discussion is about whether it was OK for the teacher to call the child an idiot. If the teacher didn't do that, the whole thread is about a hypothetical situation but that doesn't change the fact that calling a pupil an idiot would be unprofessional and unhelpful.