To think a teacher should not call a pupil an idiot!

[Namechangedbecauseiwantto]

Year 7, ds was messing with some magnet balls which he'd taken in without me knowing (he's not taking them into school again).
He got given a warning, and then second warning which means detention. I have no issue with this, he should do as he's told, but my issue is, he asked if he should take his stuff with him (at the end of the lesson when he'd been referred), the teacher replied "take your paper you idiot".
I have actually emailed the school to ask, and just been brushed off really. Aibu?

See my post above Jefferson.

One minute the OPs child deserved to be called an idiot and was called many other names on here (which is pathetic from a group of adults), to him making it up.

How did your son react to it though? Names like that were common at my brother's boy school and were worn like a badge of honour.

Goldmandra

there would be no point in responding to a thread if we are just going to blindly believe what is on them.

Drogosnextwife

Perspectives are a wonderful thing.

I completely understand your actions as DS parent is actually an insult he is calling you an idiot

Not rtft but you cannot take a child's word for the fact the teacher called him ' an idiot' . I teach and in no way would a teacher call a pupil names- these days it is not acceptable and you would get in enormous trouble.

Just today a colleague had a complaint that he'd called a child ' stupid ' and this was why she was rude/ disrespectful. I witnessed the entire thing and my colleague said that her behaviour was dangerous and stupud ( corridor incident) before she flounced away. She clearly tbought she'd fabricate a reason for hee behaviour to prevent getting into trouble. Parent takes the bait and makes a complaint ( ignoring poor behaviour and bad language). This blame culture drives me insane!

This blame culture drives me insane!

I work in a school (not a Teacher) and I know exactly what you mean. Nowadays you have to watch what you say very carefully as parents are so likely to take offence at the slightest thing or in some cases try to deflect from their own DC's poor behaviour by focusing on something a member of staff may or may not have said. I wouldn't dare call a student an idiot (even if they were being an idiot) as you can get hauled over the coals for far less! This is why most secondary schools have CCTV now, it's not just for the safety of students, it's to protect staff against false allegations and it's certainly saved more than one Teachers bacon at my school.

My colleagues and I are also very aware that all the young people I work with are permanently attached to their smartphones and could easily be recording our conversations with them so I would be surprised if one of them used the word 'idiot' but everyone has their breaking point I suppose.

Hilarious comment on first page that pupils would be 'hauled over the coals' for calling the teachers' names. No they wouldn't. The teacher would be asked what they'd done to trigger the pupil's anger. And repeat. Day after day.

I taught for almost 2 decades, and I can assure you, it’s very poorly looked on to resort to calling children names. We are constantly reminded to comment on the behaviour, not the person. So I might say to a child that ‘that was a silly thing to do’, but I wouldn’t call them an idiot. I might say ‘your not being truthfull’ Instead of calling them a liar. Teachers are professionals and no matter how hard they work, should act like professionals. We do slip up though, and I’ve apologised to pupils in the past, much like kids slip up and they apologised to me.

You sound lovely Kolo

I would take the lad's testimony with a bloody skip load of salt. But even if tge teacher did call him an idiot, what kind of 12 year old goes running to mummy because their delicate sensibilities have been offended after being called an idiot after acting like an idiot. Christ when i went to school they'd get the piss ripped out of thwm until the dat tgey finished school. Where's his self respect?

Totally agree. It's not ok to say it. I have said "stop behaving like that, I know you can do better and I expect better than this idiotic behaviour" There's a world of difference between that and actually calling a child an idiot. That's not acceptable. You have to separate the child from the behaviour.

I agree it’s better to focus on the behaviour, but no there’s not a world of difference at all - it’s a small semantic difference at most....

If I work in a bakery and bake cakes, I’m a baker. If I sing songs in a concert I’m a singer. If I act in idiotically and do idiotic things I’m an idiot.

LJDorothy it entirely depends what school you work in.
My first school is would happen exactly as you suggest. My second they'd be told off a bit and probably get a detention unless they were rude to senior stafff when punishment was more severe.
I am currently at a school with a much worse demographic and in a way much worse behaviour.
Last week a child made a rude personal comment to me while being told off and an assistant head was passing. He was strongly reprimanded, removed from my lessson, had his parents called in and was made to apologise. Not all schools are the same.

A parent came in to complain to me that her darling daughter had been told off by the class teacher. She said that her daughter had "only called the teacher a bitch and there was nothing wrong with that" The child is 7!
SOME parents believe their child can do no wrong and should never be reprimanded for anything.

*what kind of 12 year old goes running to mummy because their delicate sensibilities have been offended after being called an idiot after acting like an idiot

Most likely a spoilt nightmare child who is manipulating his pliable and doting mother into getting his teacher into trouble so he can continue to be a nightmare with impunity.*

Why do people feel they have the right to be so nasty?

Why do people feel they have the right to be so nasty?

For some reason people find it funny or clever to be nasty about other peoples children, all they are doing is making themselves look like a nightmare and a bit of a idiot (yes I did use idiot on purpose).

For some reason people find it funny or clever to be nasty about other peoples children,

And sadly it seems some of these posters are teachers.

@Namechangedbecauseiwantto

YANBU

DD told me one of her teachers called a boy in her class a twat when he was messing about.

It's wrong. You can say your behaviour is bad and unacceptable, but using the word idiot is an insult.

I can tell you that if the school don't take it seriously OFSTED will. Something similar happened in my DCs school and a parent contacted OFSTED, who said it was abusive.

I knew the details as I'm a school governor . Said teacher had to apologise.

Not all professionals behave professionally all the time. Why is that do hard to believe and decide to conclude the OPs child is lying.

I know if I was misbehaving and was called an idiot, my DM would say it was my fault, but I wouldn't say that to my DC.

It may have been acceptable decades ago, like corporal punishment was, but not in this day and age.

I had a mealtime supervisor say something quite rude to my DD and she wasn't even misbehaving.

It was raining during break time and DD and her friends wanted to go inside. She then says "maybe the rain will knock some sense into you".

I was far from impressed and called the school the next day. The HT said if that was said, it was wrong and got the member of staff to call me.

She tried to deny it, but I told her my DD had no reason to make it up and I believed her. She then proceeds to apologise if there was a misunderstanding.

Never once in 6 years of primary school was I called in or told about DD misbehaving.

I know teachers want to defend their fellow teachers, but as someone who works in HR and has sat on many disciplinary hearings, their behavior does fall below the professional standards at times.

Just as doctors, police officers and other professionals behaviour constitutes misconduct at times.

Why do people feel they have the right to be so nasty?

Not nasty imo, just the most likely explanation. Why else would a 12 yo come home to moan to his mum that he’d been called an idiot by his teacher!?... presumably he knows she’s the type who would be “that mum” and complain to the school about her darling boy.

If my two were called an idiot by their teacher, and they’’d been an idiot, then I’d have no sympathy... We’re breeding a generations of snowflakes who think they’re little gods.

It was raining during break time and DD and her friends wanted to go inside. She then says "maybe the rain will knock some sense into you".

Oh ffs.... no wonder teachers are leaving in droves when they have to put up with this nonsense reaction to any comment that might possibly be micro-scopically rude.

By the way, I’m not a teacher... Just a generally mild-mannered person who’s personally never called anyone I manage or work with an idiot or stupid etc in my 22 year career, but am nonetheless irritated by the hyper-sensitivity of some in society.

@Namechangedbecauseiwantto I 100% agree with you.

Name calling by a teacher is not acceptable regardless of what a child does.

The whole point of being an adult is that you can recognise this. It doesn't make you THAT parent. Two wrongs don't make a right.