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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a teacher should not call a pupil an idiot!

277 replies

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 14/03/2019 17:10

Year 7, ds was messing with some magnet balls which he'd taken in without me knowing (he's not taking them into school again).
He got given a warning, and then second warning which means detention. I have no issue with this, he should do as he's told, but my issue is, he asked if he should take his stuff with him (at the end of the lesson when he'd been referred), the teacher replied "take your paper you idiot".
I have actually emailed the school to ask, and just been brushed off really. Aibu?

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 14/03/2019 17:26

Yes i'm ok with it up to a point.

" Don't be a pratt" and "stop pratting around" are regular things said to my dc. I'm ok with it because I am trying to encourage robustness and resilience in my children to better prepare them for adult life.

YouTheCat · 14/03/2019 17:27

What do you want then? He said he understood your actions as a parent. Do you not think that maybe teachers have more important things to be doing with their time than replying to emails about some kid being called an idiot.

Theknacktoflying · 14/03/2019 17:27

What do you want? Surely the words ‘I understand as a parent of xxx’ he acknowledges that it was wrong but what do you want him to do wrt a teacher who used tne wrong tone/word when addressing your misbehaving son?

Waveysnail · 14/03/2019 17:27

Your child took something into school he shouldn't then got told TWICE to stop and got a detention. You are focusing on the wrong thing tbh.

MmaMakutsi · 14/03/2019 17:27

"School shock as idiot gets called an idiot" Grin Grin

Can't see this one making the front pages. YABU I'm afraid.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 14/03/2019 17:27

Things like this explain the pathetic 18-22 year olds my husband and colleagues in other venues have to work with.
Heaven forbid you don't speak to them like they walk on water even when they're lazy and acting like idiots.

SmileEachDay · 14/03/2019 17:29

“I completely understand your actions as did parent”

What actions? I don’t understand the response from the school.

I say “don’t be a total muppet” quite a lot. Is that name calling?

ChocChocButtons · 14/03/2019 17:30

He sounds obnoxious I’m not surprised the teacher got short tempered,

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 14/03/2019 17:31

I'm not sure how many times and ways I can say I've dealt with the behaviour? Yes, he was being an idiot, I'm not denying that, and I do teach resilience to him, he's not feeble, he hasn't made a big thing of it he just told me because he was surprised that a teacher would say that to him.
I just don't think it is acceptable to use verbal insults? As a pp said, it's not ok if your partner verbally insults you, but it's ok for a teacher in a position of responsibility to do it?
Enough of you disagree to make me think I'm obviously wrong, but I'm genuinely surprised.

OP posts:
HappyDinosaur · 14/03/2019 17:32

It shouldn't happen, but are you sure that it did? I just can't imagine a Y7 child being bothered by this, but could perhaps be angry at the teacher for telling him off and giving him detention. Might be a slight exaggeration to detract from the main issue. I can remember this sort of thing happening when I was at school, teachers are easy targets after all! If it did happen I would encourage your ds to speak face to face to the teacher with you and explain why he was unhappy about being called idiot, giving the teacher the chance to apologise to him directly.

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 14/03/2019 17:32

I'm not sure how you got obnoxious from he was fiddling with his magnet balls 😬, he's really not obnoxious.

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 14/03/2019 17:32

Why wouldn't the teacher say it to him?

He was being an idiot. He needed to stop being an idiot.

I've told my DH to stop being a dick head. It's not verbal abuse.

ChocChocButtons · 14/03/2019 17:33

Don’t be a snowflake parent, when I was school I got wacked with a book lol I love that teacher she was ace.

avocadochocolate · 14/03/2019 17:33

I don't think the teacher should have said that but on the other hand, I think I would just let it slide. It's not the end of the world.

AuntieCJ · 14/03/2019 17:34

Your DS sounds like a real pain. Idiot is mild, frankly. Teachers don't need that sort of bullshit from kids and as for you complaining - really? Teach your child not to be an idiot.

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 14/03/2019 17:34

@chocchoc
Could not be further from a snowflake parent, You've cheered me right up with that statement 😂

OP posts:
EdWinchester · 14/03/2019 17:34

This really would not bother me. He was being an idiot. Or are we so bloody precious nowadays that teachers can’t call kids out in a way they might actually relate to.

SileneOliveira · 14/03/2019 17:35

I called a 10 year old in an afterschool club today a "numpty". Because they had done something they had been repeatedly told not to do, and had to undo a piece of work as a consequence.

Should I be steeling myself for a phone call from the child's mother, accusing me of verbally abusing her precious pickle?

malificent7 · 14/03/2019 17:35

I wouldnt make an issue of it. Sounds like its deflecting from the real issue...defiance.

HonestTeacher · 14/03/2019 17:36

I seem to be in the minority but a teacher calling a child an idiot is not OK! Yes there are much worse things to be called and yes your son probably was acting like an idiot but the teacher should be setting a better example. Sometimes I've wanted to call children in my class much worse but have refrained from it. I would never accept my boss or a parent/student/family member calling me names, so I would never subject a child in my class to one. If it was a one off I'd let it slide as sometimes things do slip out when incredibly stressed but if it was a regular occurrence I would not be happy.

ChocChocButtons · 14/03/2019 17:37

You sound like a snowflake lol kids are obnoxious now a days because teachers get dragged over the coals over every little misstep. Maybe it wasn’t the best phrase to use but seriously let it go.

safariboot · 14/03/2019 17:37

he has just replied with "I completely understand your actions as ds parent".

I'd interpret that as the teacher insulting you.

rainbowunicorn · 14/03/2019 17:39

The teacher was correct. Your son was being an idiot. High school is a very different beast to the mollycoddling, can't say boo in fear of upsetting someone's precious darling that you get in primary.
Teach your son not to be an idiot and he will not be called one.

EdWinchester · 14/03/2019 17:39

I hope the school are having a little snigger at your expense.

It does come across as petty and precious to email the school over this.

notacooldad · 14/03/2019 17:41

If my kid had come home and told me this story I would not have been impressed ... with him.
I certainly would not be emailing the school.