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AIBU?

Urgent advice re phones abroad needed. Suspicions re DH

311 replies

Plastictattoo · 14/03/2019 16:51

Hi
DH flew to European city today with work. Not too unusual to happen but some things have got me thinking.

  1. He bought new trainers, coat and had hair cut yesterday.
  2. He text me to say not to tag him on FB as some people at work were saying this trip was a jolly. (I rarely post on FB and probably tag him about 2/3 times a year for holiday photos so this seemed really odd request).
  3. I missed a call from him so rang back from my mobile. His number is saved without the international dialling numbers in my phone and it rang as normal..ie not the abroad ring tone I was expecting. Does this mean that he isn't on mainland Europe?

I said I woukd call back. Is there a way of doing this that means I could establish where he is?
Hope that makes sense.
TIA
OP posts:
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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2019 17:22

Has he took his passport?

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2019 17:23

DH visits Europe frequently, there’s always a different dialling tone.

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AFistfulofDolores1 · 14/03/2019 17:24

I don't understand the Facebook thing at all ...

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cardibach · 14/03/2019 17:24

I don’t get why anyone thinks he won’t need trainers on a work trip. He’s not working 24/7 presumably, so will need casual clothes at some point?
The phone stuff is all weird and I have no idea whether it’s unusual. I know I wouldn’t notice.

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nothinglikeadame · 14/03/2019 17:25

The no tagging on FB needs further explanation. I don't understand what that has to do with him being on a business trip?

So you take a photo of DC,upload it to FB, and tag him in..he doesn't have to acknowledge it, and it has nothing to do with work.

Unless, he doesn't want someone to know he's married with a kid, which the tagging would show..but surely his FB profile says that anyway? certainly looks like he doesn't want to be associated with you this weekend! Sorry.

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Cuntforthebutter · 14/03/2019 17:26

Sorry haven't RTFT so sorry if I'm repeating others answers ( in a hurry). My partner works in the Netherlands. No international code needed for dialling his mobile and I always get a different ring (longer tone).

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amusedbush · 14/03/2019 17:28

The no tagging on FB needs further explanation. I don't understand what that has to do with him being on a business trip?

Maybe he's not on a business trip and if the OP tags him in something about being abroad for work and his colleague sees it there would be confusion?

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2019 17:29

I don’t understand why he asked you not to tag him. In what instance would he think you’d tag him? He’s out of the country with work.

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JustBloodyCold · 14/03/2019 17:29

Text him and ask him to bring you back something from duty free that you can only get from his destination country

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Aquamarine1029 · 14/03/2019 17:30

Can you go online and check his bank records?

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FizzyGreenWater · 14/03/2019 17:31

I think the FB thing is more likely to have something to do with colleagues as surely if he was with someone he shouldn't be and they did not know he was attached, he just wouldn't be showing them his FB.

I think it is more likely that work think he's at a funeral or dealing with some family emergency and so the last thing he wants is you merrily tagging him in a cute pic of your DC eating ice cream and saying can't wait til you're back from X!'

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LordPickle · 14/03/2019 17:32

I think the FB thing is mega dodgy. Why would it matter if you tagged him? It sounds like he's told his work colleagues that he's going somewhere with you (that you obviously won't be) and then he'll have to explain why he lied about who he was going away with.

Are there any other suspicious behaviours that you've noticed?

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FizzyGreenWater · 14/03/2019 17:33

More I think about it, the funeral/emergency thing sounds likely. His work colleagues think you're away with him so he does not want them to see you're on FB very much not at a funeral/hospital.

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NotSorry · 14/03/2019 17:34

I use find my iPhone when I'm looking for my DH - nothing sinister from my point of view, just want to know how long he's going to be before he gets back if he's taken DD back to uni for example and I don't want to disturb him while he's driving - before you all shout at me, he knows I do this!

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UnspiritualHome · 14/03/2019 17:35

UK phones in Europe always ring with European tone

No, they really don't. DH and I occasionally work abroad, neither of us gets a different ring tone when phoning each other.

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Plastictattoo · 14/03/2019 17:36

So, the phone is possibly a red herring.
The new clothes and hair cut could be explained.
The FB thing is just so odd. Unless he isn't meant to be there.
Passport isn't in its usual place so most likely he has it.

OP posts:
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UnspiritualHome · 14/03/2019 17:36

Why not just phone his work and ask what hotel he's in? Presumably they'd be paying for it if it's a work trip?

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GetStrongKeepFighting · 14/03/2019 17:37

I can't help re dial tones and Facebook etc but I really hope this is all innocent.

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SuziQ10 · 14/03/2019 17:37

I guess when you rang from the landline if you left a message you will see on your phone bill whether is was charged as a local call or at the rate for calls abroad!
I don't think they charge if it didn't connect / didn't leave message.

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Spiritinabody · 14/03/2019 17:38

If your gut is telling you something is wrong and you are not a naturally suspicious person then I would try and check it out.

Try getting a male to phone his workplace in UK asking for him. They may say he is, say, on leave for a couple of days and then you'll know your instincts were right.

Does he normally tell you where he's staying? My DH makes sure I have hotel name and address on case of emergencies and will ring me each evening. Doesn't your DH normally do this?

Did his hair need cutting or did he have a haircut sooner than he would normally? I would probably make an effort to look my best but that probably wouldn't extend to a new coat unless I'd previously been saying I needed one or had fallen in love with one I'd seen.

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ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere · 14/03/2019 17:39

You need to either trust your partner or leave.
If you have the name and number of the hotel then how do you not know where it is...? 🤦🏼‍♀️

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MrsMozartMkII · 14/03/2019 17:41

Does he usually go away and not leave you his hotel details?

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Plastictattoo · 14/03/2019 17:42

Don't know where he is staying or flight details. Sometimes he will tell me, sometimes not.

OP posts:
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HeyNannyNanny · 14/03/2019 17:42

I have a UK phone as does my boyfriend.

I travel a lot all over Europe and we always get the normal dial tone.

Has he previously given you reason to be suspicious?

Also...new trainers? Is that how men pull these days?

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2019 17:42

The haircut, new coat and shoes isn’t anything really.

The dialling code is weird. In all the years DH has been away to Italy, Spain, Germany and France there’s always been a different tone. I didn’t realise it was possible for there to be a normal one.

The FB thing is definitely odd imo. Did you ask him why you shouldn’t tag him?

Sorry you’re feeling concerned, I hope it’s nothong OP.

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