Urgent advice re phones abroad needed. Suspicions re DH

[Plastictattoo]

Hi
DH flew to European city today with work. Not too unusual to happen but some things have got me thinking.

1. He bought new trainers, coat and had hair cut yesterday.
2. He text me to say not to tag him on FB as some people at work were saying this trip was a jolly. (I rarely post on FB and probably tag him about 2/3 times a year for holiday photos so this seemed really odd request).
3. I missed a call from him so rang back from my mobile. His number is saved without the international dialling numbers in my phone and it rang as normal..ie not the abroad ring tone I was expecting. Does this mean that he isn't on mainland Europe?

I said I woukd call back. Is there a way of doing this that means I could establish where he is? Hope that makes sense. TIA

If you are calling a UK mobile from the UK you DO NOT need the international number.

If the phone is ringing in the UK it will sound the same. If the phone is abroad it will sound different eg international ring tone.

If you are happy to send me a photo via inbox I would happily check to see if it was a stock photo or shared image. I would understand if you are uneasy doing that though.

for you x

@Plastictattoo if you private mail me which airport he will be flying from and to I can look up the flights for you. I won't post any of the information on this thread.

In the old days, landline phones had an electric bell inside. When a caller dialled a number, AC current from a rotating mechanical generator in the exchange was fed down the line and made the bell ring. The same AC current was fed back to the calling phone and was heard in the earpiece as the "ring tone". So of course the caller heard the rhythm of the called phone's bell. Now most landline phone systems are digital, but even so the ring tone fed back to the caller simulates the ringing rhythm usual in the country you are calling.

This is not so when calling a mobile ("cell") phone. Wherever the phone is, if you are calling from the UK, you will hear a UK style ring tone. This is generated by the UK mobile company's network equipment.

So much misinformation! Most people don't seem to know the difference between as dial/dialling tone and ringing tone or understand what happens when you call a UK mobile which is roaming on another network abroad. I have found it very hit and miss as to which ringing tone is heard when calling to and from Europe, so I don't think you can draw any conclusions really.

I’d prob ask a good friend to tag him and you on Fb saying something like ‘delicious ad hoc dinner at ops, shame you are off in Italy, hope you’re working hard at least! ‘
So it was nothing to do with me...

My phone or settings on my phone automatically rings international even if saved number is uk. It just adds the dialling codes when to realises the phone is out of uk. It doesn’t show the codes to me or so they show up in my recent calls.
So if I (or my phone) were in your position I wouldn’t know whether the phone I called was here or there.

that's a good idea timeisnotaline a very good idea

I am in Europe and live on the border with another country. When I phone someone I can tell if they are in my country or the neighbouring country because my phone shows "call forwarding active" while it is connecting to the other phone.

I think the whole thing does seem a bit suspicious to be honest.

One thing I have noted on this thread OP, is everyone seems to agree that YANBU, not sure that's a comfort but everyone wants to help you resolve this which is a rare thing on AIBU

He said his flight out was delayed and after searching online, that was true. This has reassured me.
Thanks for suggestions but I won't be contacting his work. Its just something I've never done. I've met his colleagues but wouldn't consider them friends.
I think I will just be watchful.
Thanks for listening

@Plastictattoo to reverse image search: get the images onto a computer, not your phone (email then save). Right click then "search google for image", or drag and drop into the google image search bar.

Forgot the phone dial tone.

Reverse Google search those images..

Track iPhone/find friends - use son's phone. someone can explain- I don't use apple .

Email work email with someone mundane. Inset days. Holidays etc- like a previous poster said check for out of office.

Tbh I'd use this time to get financial info in order and check any laptops

Getting a friend to tag him is a crap idea! It means having to tell a friend about suspicions which may be completely unfounded. And then the friend either no longer trusts the partner, or let's slip that they were asked to lie, or ends up thinking OP is a loon etc.

I don't blame you for not contacting his work OP. That could cause a lot of issues and or embarrassment for one or both of you. Hope you are feeling ok and good news about the flight, good idea to just keep an eye out for now if you have any suspicious feeling.

I'd like text him and say for some reason your phone is not connecting with his and can he given you the name/number of the hotel in case you need to get hold of him.

His reaction will tell you everything

I hate to say this, but even if he sends genuine photo's from said city, flights tie-in to what he is saying. Even if he gives you the hotel name and you ring it and he answers, even if he Facetime's with his children, it doesn't mean another woman isn't just out of your sight. It doesn't necessarily confirm he is on a work trip, he could be having a jolly away with his OW. Not saying he is, at all, just looking at it from a purely dispassionate point of view.

Do you have family sharing with the iPhones? If not turn it on for your eldest and his phone. Then you'll be able to see where he is with "find my iPhone"....I would

I wouldn't call his work either.

I'd FaceTime him and say you're bored and fancied a chat.

He said his flight out was delayed and after searching online, that was true. This has reassured me.

HE could have performed that same search to give you that same information.

I do hope it isn’t bad news for you but I would be worried too. Has there been anything else which arouses your suspicions?

@HeronLanyon your phone has no possible way of knowing what country the other phone is in. All it knows is that it's calling a UK number.

@carrotflinger call forwarding is for your phone, so if someone calls you while you are engaged it will forward them to your voicemail. It's got nothing to do with the phone you are calling out to. If you live on a border you are probably sometimes connected on your home network and sometimes roaming in the other country, and I'm guessing call forwarding will only activate on your home network.

Phones cannot magically know where another phone is.

lonelydad - exactly!

"@carrotflinger call forwarding is for your phone, so if someone calls you while you are engaged it will forward them to your voicemail. It's got nothing to do with the phone you are calling out to. If you live on a border you are probably sometimes connected on your home network and sometimes roaming in the other country, and I'm guessing call forwarding will only activate on your home network."

When I phone someone from my phone and they are in the other country my phone shows "call forwarding active", nothing to do with my voicemail.