Either end of the scale can be cliquey and non inclusive.
Try being disabled, when I’m out with DS, people do mental cartwheels to avoid the idea that I might be ds’s mother, because we all know that The Disabled can’t possibly Have a Dependent, they Are a Dependent. And they must sit quietly at home or preferably in institutions and stop confusing ‘normal people’ in everyday life! Sounds ridiculous when I put it that way but sadly it’s very much what I experience every day.
There is huge judgement for me from people who assume that I was selfish enough to be disabled, and ill, and still bring a child into the world. They use it as a reason not to be kind, not to help if they see me struggling, not to move out of the way and let me on my wheels get through their crowd to pick up my child etc. I never know whether I’d like to tell them that their assumptions aren’t even bloody true. Or whether I’d like to tell them to mind their own business anyway. I don’t say anything anyway, as they wouldn’t lower themselves to talk to me, just about me.
Sigh.
It’s a very lonely road.
I’d bloody love to be a ‘young mum’, and have so much life left to live. I’d love to be an ‘older mum’ and be able to feel all wise and settled.
But really, I think there’s always something someone can make you feel uncomfortable for, or that same characteristic can be a shared bond, or mutually admired characteristic.
Perhaps if people just concentrated on being a kind mum/dad, above all other labels, the playground would be a better place for everyone.