To ask you how older mothers REALLY think about younger mothers

[Flyingfish2019]

I am much younger than most of the mothers of my children’s friends and look even younger than I am. I wonder how other mums think of that.

I think they're lucky as they most likely have their own parents still around to love their grandchildren.
I say this As an older mum whose mum has passed prior to having kids.
I also think they'll have fun 40's as they're kids will be grown up whereas I travelled young and I'm now knee deep in nappies at 40 ;) it's swings and roundabouts

I might fleetingly think God, how can they afford it at their age? But most of the time, unless they’re teenagers, it wouldn’t register with me. Thinking about it now, there weren’t many noticeably ‘young’ mums when DS was at primary.

A work friend and I have kids born a month apart. She was 16 when she gave birth and I was 31 (we didn’t know each other then). We have so much shared experience in many things as well as our kids. I see another woman, not just a mum

Tbh I don’t really think about it. I would say though that all of my mum friends are 30 plus, not by design but I would say the majority of mums at school, nursery and baby classes near me are 30 plus. In fact I can only think of one who is younger and she must be mid 20’s by now.

I was 19 when I had my first. I did find that at first the older mother at toddler groups etc would treat me on the whole as though I was a bit thick. They were always nice enough, but would almost simplify things for me, or really point out the obvious with well meaning, but patronising advise. I counter this by giving well meaning patronising advice right back and they soon realised that I was just as capable as raising a child well as they were and started to treat me as one of their own.

I'm in my 30s now and my kids are older, I'm starting to get my career back on track. My kids love the fact that I'm young, I'm more in touch with them than I would be if I'd have had them in my 40s and we have a great relationship.

There's pluses and minuses to all ages and stag s of life as far as having kids is concerned, but on balance I'm happy I had them young and actually secretly feel sorry for older mothers. Although obviously I'd never say that in RL.

Honestly, it’s not something I would have choose so when I meet with younger mums, I’m kind of surprised.

To me, it’s normal to start having kids after 30 and my peer group reflects this. On the rare occasion I meet a younger mum, it usually just makes me feel old

But I have to admit that sometimes I feel that they should have lived a little on their own before settling down with kids! But obviously it’s just my opinion, and they usually seem pretty happy in general (if a bit stressed)

I had mine in my early 30s which is probably on the “younger” end of the scale in my part of London. I don’t know any younger mums but when posters on here say that had 3 by 25 I’m jealous at the freedom they will have in their 30s/40s however I wouldn’t have been ready for a child earlier.

I was a young mum and most of the other mums in the playground at the time looked as if they could have been my mum, too! But I was very poor, with a controlling partner at the time and unconfident. Many of the older mums were homeowners (which I wasn't at the time) and just seemed happier in their own skins. There's pros and cons to most situations.

I was 33 when I had my first DS. My friends range from 42yr old first timers to 23 Yr old first time mums. No judgement, we are all just trying our best with it all.

The only thing I think of when I see young mums is that it must be nice to have loads of energy. And to not be mistaken for your DD’s grandmother - that has happened more than once.

Someone I who was in the same year as me at school has a grandchild a year older than my DD.

Another DM journal fishing for a cheap story I expect

I feel a bit sad for them to be honest. When I was in my 20s I was building my career, travelling and having fun, so sometimes at the school gate I feel sad that they’re there and not enjoying their youth.

I was 24 when I had my DD and had a real chip on my shoulder about how people perceived me. I received quite a number of comments when she was a baby about how young I was, and they didn’t feel particularly good. They were all from new mothers at baby group who were in their late thirties/early forties. I think people felt sorry for me that I was ‘no age’ to be having children. It made me feel awful and I was only there to make friends.

However my circumstances were slightly different from the norm, I was married and had been with my husband for eight years at that point, and had also started my career (although admittedly was still right at the start so wasn’t earning much).

10 years and another DD later, I’m not sure how much more mature I am now. Certain things have changed, I have a lot more flexibility in my career and my earnings have gone up, and this would certainly make having a baby easier. But whether I’d be more emotionally equipped, I’m really not sure.

If I were to look at younger mothers now I like to think I’d try not to place any assumptions, but I know realistically I’d be thinking ‘I hope they don’t face what I did’

I have quarter of a century between my oldest and youngest!! So have been both young and old Mum...I generally feel left out by younger Mums at toddler groups these days yet when I was a young Mum I had older Mum friends. I’d love young Mums to chat to! However, seeing as pretty much most Mums are now definitely younger than me I tend to not even notice who is younger than who else. Try not to feel insecure, nobody who matters is judging you and at the end of the day all that really matters is if you are a Loving Mum, not age. (ps come move here and join my toddlers hahahaha)

I had my eldest at 21 and was probably 10 years younger than everyone else at the village baby and toddler groups. I thought no one would talk to me and I would be judged. I can honestly say no one cared! Everyone treated me as an equal, we all gave each other advice on the same level when it came to baby issues and tbh that's was pretty much all we talked about, all being wrapped up in our first babies.

I will be 36 when I have my older next child and will be considered and older mother. I wonder if younger mothers have more energy than me and find pregnancy/labour easier.

I don't really know any to talk to. All the mums in my social group/school run, are in their late 30s, early 40s. Don't know if that's a London thing.

I had my DD at 40 and I think if I had been a younger mum I would have worried more about what people thought of me, how I was doing things, if I was right to do something or not. At 40 plus I don’t care. However, I do look at younger mums and think they must have so much more energy than me and I envy them a bit. If I see a very young mum I do wonder if they have /are missing out on their fun which I had in my late teens and twenties. I don’t judge them though, as I can see the benefits of having a child when you are young and full of energy.

I'm an older mum. I think younger mums are lucky because they will still have a lot of life left when their children are grown up to start a new career, travel the world etc. On the other hand I think they might have missed out on doing those things when they were young enough to enjoy them. I don't think any less of younger mums.

I think a lot of people - and I am one - would worry that whatever they were doing was not the ‘right ‘ thing. I am an older mother and I sometimes feel guilty that I left it so long and that my daughter will in some way suffer as a result, she won’t have grandparents for long etc.
On the other hand, I know that if I’d had children in my twenties I would have thought that wasn’t right, either, and that I should be building up my career and so on.
In the end, it’s best just not to worry about it. Everyone’s life is different.

I don't think anything. I might think, god I wish I had as much energy as they do but other than that nothing.

Being completely honest I feel a bit sad for them because in my 20s I was having a great time travelling and enjoying myself. It was my most fun and carefree time. I think young parents probably miss a lot of that.
I am however, a bit jealous that they probably aren't nearly as knackered at the end of the day as me. 😂

There is another human being who has had a baby.

Seriously don't get hung up on age, my friends ages span a good 35 ish years between the oldest and youngest, do not avoid people as friends because of their age, choose them because they are nice, kind, thoughtful, funny etc etc, it is daft to limit to your experience that way.

I don’t think about them.

I have a friend who has become a mum young. It delayed her degree by a year, and will affect career choices, but many of those choices would arise at the point of having children anyway. She's just doing things in a different order. She's bringing her child up very well