Is my neighbour a serial killer?

[Iltavilli]

We live in a bog standard 3 bed semi. Our attached neighbour has a kitchen extension but also a small brick built outhouse (1920s house so not standard).
Our dog seems obsessed with the outhouse. The neighbour is in her late 70s, has lived here for 30+ years, no close family seem to visit. She’s a fab neighbour but should we accept she’s a likely serial killer?

(Not serious for those easily offended)

She keeps a chest freezer in there and it has broken down, leaving festering meat inside. Your neighbour has had a stroke and lost her sense of smell but your dog is loving it.

Of course, plenty of serial killers hide bodies in their chest freezer.

Offer to go in there with the dog on the basis if him being a good ratter who has detected rats. If she refuses your offer you'll know she's hiding dead bodies in there.

Scan it with an thermal imaging camera, (you must have one), if it shows up red or orange, she's definitely growing cannabis, if it shows up blue, then it's refrigerated in some way to keep the bodies from going off.

If OP doesn't come back what do we do? Not much satisfaction in being right when you're dead as my Old Granny would say from her coffin.

Send a photo of her to Interpol. Also, break into her house and steal her toothbrush. Send this off for DNA analysis.

Also, become a US citizen, join the FBI behavioural science unit, change your name to Clarice and see if that gives you a fresh perspective. It helped me.

Alargegin

Property for sale is Mossad safe house. She has scared the bejasus out of them. The Director of the bureau has been heard humming “ You got to know when to hold ‘em , know when to fold them “ for most of the week.

I think it might be Brexit.

OOOO.... maybe it's where she's stockpiled the food!!!!!

OP, you need to be able to break in and steal it all when Armageddon sets in! could you just PM me the postcode, please

Might not be dead bodies.
Could be half dead ones, Like she’s torturing people in there. Maybe removing their eyeballs and stuff.

This is quite obviously a sex dungeon and there's weird fetish stuff going on with raw mince....

Can confidently say it's been built on the site of an ancient Native American burial ground.

We were convinced that our local Tesco had been built on a plague pit, such was the misery of the staff, and the way it sucked all happiness out of you. So could be that. As pp have said investigate during a stormy night to make sure.

Well, of course it's not whole dead bodies. This is a pensioner, and meat is expensive...

Tread carefully regarding your DP, you don't want them joining forces and for you to end up in their freezer.

What would your poor dog do then?!

It's her Brexit cupboard.

It can't be the Brexit stash, those should be things like tins and stuff to last so unless OP's dog goes mad for baked beans and can sniff them unopened...

Have a look at the fence posts. I think it was John Christie that that a human femur propping up a part of his garden fence. First thing the police noticed when they first inspected the garden.

Order a parcel and write a safe place of "murder hut next door neighbours garden" pretend you aren't in and watch from the window

At all costs keep your dog safe! The rest is A-OK with me.

True story: woman in her 60s/70s (retired teacher) lived next door to my relative. Several sheds in large overgrown garden. She sold up and moved.
New people moved in. Started clearing garden and investigating sheds. One seemed shorter than the rest. They discovered a false wall, behind which was the remains of a cannabis farm.

Maybe its a crack den... or she's a dominatrix and its a sex den.... or maybe its just a shed....

Does she borrow your spoons?

If the spoons are serrated grapefruit spoons those are commonly used as murder weapons.

Does she breed rare moths? And make her own clothes?

Too much late night telly op. Try afternoons. She's a dog whisperer.

Actual lol Queenrollo. OP, maybe you watch too much CSI...?