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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was ridiculously rude

251 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 09/03/2019 20:55

Invited two friends round for dinner tonight. Due to another commitment it was always going to be late (arrive half 8 eat at 9) explicitly said this when I was arranging it as I know it’s very late for some people.
Assured me it’s fine.

Got food in inc some naice (fucking expensive) ingredients. Get everything cooking, text at 8:45 asking if they are on their way.
Reply “oh no we were too hungry to had to make our own dinner, we can come round in an hour or two after we’re done.”
I was a bit hacked off so told them not to bother Blush
Aibu to be pretty seething Blush

OP posts:
EhlanaOfElenia · 10/03/2019 20:19

@LunafortJest - don't talk about something you have absolutely no knowledge of. In Australia you can't even get a dinner reservation for 9 pm, as most kitchens shut at that time. In the UK you can make reservations into the night. It is TOTALLY different here. When we headed back to Australia one particular time and were going to go out for dinner with friends, we were dawdling (all at their house for a few hours beforehand) until my friend pointed out that unless we got our backsides into gear we wouldn't be going out to dinner at all as the restaurant would be shut. I had completely forgotten that. Even the local pizza parlours shut relatively early. Tis crazy.

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2019 20:31

Rude. I hope you were very explicit in letting them know that you had bought food in and were mid-prep so it couldn't be frozen. Knobbers.

screamifyouwant · 10/03/2019 20:33

This thread is odd , if you want to eat at 9 eat at 9 . Posts saying it's far too late to eat etc yes maybe for you .
I eat 6-6.30 but occasionally later I'm not hungry or if I go to my fitness class it's usually 9pm ish I'll eat . On Sunday's usually earlier like 5ish .
But yes very rude of them to eat and also odd if they knew the time .

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2019 20:35

I've just had dinner. Grin #subversive

shrumps · 10/03/2019 20:37

Dinner at 7/8 is pretty standard I'd say, in the west mids. Most people leave work around 6ish.
If I was invited to a friends house, dinner at 9 would be completely normal.

MissLadyM · 10/03/2019 20:52

Never invite them again. Bloody cheek

AutumnCrow · 10/03/2019 20:53

They were rudesters

Jenasaurus · 10/03/2019 20:53

ive just gone to bed, goodnight all, enjoy your dinner :)

americandream · 10/03/2019 20:59

@PiebaldHamster

They were fucking rude. YANBU. But it seems a lot of people just can't think outside of their boxes from some of the narrow-minded comments on here. 9pm is fine. You pre-warned them. They were rude.

There is nothing 'narrow minded' about preferring to eat your evening meal at an earlier time in the evening FGS. Hmm I may as well say it's narrow minded to scoff at people who like to eat earlier. People have different views and opinions, and different tastes, and for some people, starting to eat a big meal at 9pm IS too late.

Most people would have their evening meal on the table by 7.30pm; some people by 6.30pm, some even earlier. In the real world (outside of mumsnet,) the amount of people starting to eat a big meal after 9pm (in their own home,) would be far lower than those who eat before 7.30pm, for sure. If I go out for a meal, the main would usually be at 7.45pm to 8pm, but at a friend's house, it's often half an hour earlier, and in my own house, dinner is always before 7pm.

Of course it's bloody rude, if you have been invited to someone's house for a meal, to eat beforehand and then refuse the meal, but to say it's 'narrow minded' to not want to start eating a big meal at 9pm is ridiculous.

Silvercatowner · 10/03/2019 21:11

There is nothing 'narrow minded' about preferring to eat your evening meal at an earlier time in the evening FGS.

But this thread isn't about the timings of an evening meal. FGS. It's about people being rude and thoughtless. The timing of the evening meal is incidental. Yet another MN non-sequitur.

Lou670 · 10/03/2019 21:16

Totally agree Silvercatowner. The thread seems to have derailed somewhat.

americandream · 10/03/2019 21:17

@Silvercatowner

But this thread isn't about the timings of an evening meal. FGS. It's about people being rude and thoughtless. The timing of the evening meal is incidental.

I know it is FGS! Hmm I said it's rude to eat food before you have been invited to a meal, and then refuse the food someone has made you. Did you not read that bit? Confused

I had a go at the person slagging off people for having the temerity to want to eat earlier in the evening that 9pm, because people are entitled to not want a big meal at 9pm without being called 'narrow minded1'

americandream · 10/03/2019 21:20

I agree the thread has been derailed! Having a go at people for not wanting to eat a big meal at 9pm is ridiculous. It was originally about people being rude for not saying '9pm is too late,' and refusing to eat the food they had had prepared for them.

Maybe people can stop derailing the thread now, and stop having a pop at people who simply prefer to eat earlier. Confused

Silvercatowner · 10/03/2019 21:21

People have different views and opinions, and different tastes, and for some people, starting to eat a big meal at 9pm IS too late.

So what was the point of posting that, @americandream???

americandream · 10/03/2019 21:33

@Silvercatowner

what was the point of posting that?

Because someone accused people who want to eat earlier of being narrow minded!! Which was rude, and is derailing the thread.

Can you stop having a go at me for nothing now please? YOU are the one derailing the thread now. Hmm

Silvercatowner · 10/03/2019 21:38

Can you stop having a go at me for nothing now please?

Well stop going on about evening meal timings!! 'Tisn't what the thread is about.

anniehm · 10/03/2019 21:43

It's rude of them but in honesty if someone invited me for food at 9 I would tell them just drinks and I'd eat before I came - way too late for me to comfortably eat, terrible heartburn.

joyfullittlehippo · 10/03/2019 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlimeyCalmDown · 10/03/2019 21:54

9pm would have been far too late to eat for me, but I'd of had the decency to say, I'll eat first then just come round for drinks.

IvanaPee · 10/03/2019 21:57

My god! Who the fuck cares what time any of you eat dinner?? It has literally nothing to do with the thread!

Anecdotally, I am truly blessed to have friends who don’t need to reorganise their entire lives with extra naps and military-precision meal times to have a 9pm dinner party on a Saturday night. Hmm but that’s neither here nor there.

As a PP pointed out, OP only found out they weren’t coming when SHE texted THEM 15 minutes after they were supposed to have arrived!!

They were so rude, OP! Did they give an excuse/reason when you called them out?

Fowles94 · 10/03/2019 22:14

I work 7.15 till 8.30 but have tea most days in work. If not thought it 9.15pm. Not everyone can eat early.
Too OP they are massively rude and I would be fuming too.

Ninkaninus · 10/03/2019 22:16

Oh fgs I marvel sometimes at the level of idiocy here.

I’ve not got the inclination to go back and check, but I’d willingly wager the price of OP’s lovingly prepared meal that the person who mentioned narrow mindedness was referring to the fact that one would have to be
either incredibly small-minded or particularly hard of thinking to actually believe that one’s tiny little bit of personal experience automatically extends to every single other person in the world. Or even every single person in the town or city in which one lives. Never mind making the time dinner was going to b served a part of the justification for one’s answer when it has literally no relevance to the question, nor to the answer.

I seriously don’t give a flying fuck what time people eat their dinner, I’m not a snob about it and I make no judgement one way or the other. But I can’t stand stupidity and presuming that your own experience is the only normal is staggeringly stupid.

AutumnCrow · 10/03/2019 22:25

My god! Who the fuck cares what time any of you eat dinner?? It has literally nothing to do with the thread!

Yep. That one ^^

LadyGAgain · 10/03/2019 22:31

Have you spoken with them today OP?

PiebaldHamster · 10/03/2019 22:52

Jesus wept, american, as pointed out no one gives a toss about what 'most people' do and tbh 'most people' would be in the region of about 3+bn of them so it really doesn't do to generalise about their fucking dinner and as pointed out, it's not what the thread's about!

Exactly, Nink!

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