To think this was ridiculously rude

[lastqueenofscotland]

Invited two friends round for dinner tonight. Due to another commitment it was always going to be late (arrive half 8 eat at 9) explicitly said this when I was arranging it as I know it’s very late for some people.
Assured me it’s fine.

Got food in inc some naice (fucking expensive) ingredients. Get everything cooking, text at 8:45 asking if they are on their way.
Reply “oh no we were too hungry to had to make our own dinner, we can come round in an hour or two after we’re done.”
I was a bit hacked off so told them not to bother
Aibu to be pretty seething

Gwenhwyfar
I am in the South East and work in London, in recruitment. So whilst I can only talk about my own experience and it doesn't make it a national rule, I am still talking about work contracts I do all day!

There's honestly no such a thing as a 9 to 5, it's more a 9 to 6. It's nothing to do with being important, it's what the companies are ready to pay their staff!
(I am not talking about my own hours )

Where I am it has been a staple for generations to watch the 6pm news while eating dinner. The main news is at 6 at night and has become synonymous with family sitting down for dinner, they just go together in everyone's minds. Though hospitals serve their dinner around 5:30pm. People invite guests to dinner around 7 to 7:30 at home. If you suggested 9pm dinner here, people would assume you were a shift worker working bizarre hours.

Peak hour on trains is from 4:30 to 6pm. Most people are home by 6.

Oh and teachers are usually gone by 4pm or 4:30. The cleaners are the ones who lock up the school, and they start around 4.

But it's irrelevant what time anyone eats at. The OP had said food would be at 9 as that's the earliest she could do. If that was going to be too late for the guests they should have declined to begin with.

Oh and teachers are usually gone by 4pm or 4:30. The cleaners are the ones who lock up the school, and they start around 4.

tell that to the local teachers here

Where I am it has been a staple for generations to watch the 6pm news while eating dinner. The main news is at 6 at night and has become synonymous with family sitting down for dinner, they just go together in everyone's minds.

You know, you really have to get past the idea that your habits represent universal practice. They just don't. And it's irrelevant to this thread anyway.

Oh and teachers are usually gone by 4pm or 4:30. The cleaners are the ones who lock up the school, and they start around 4.

Yup, this definitely happens in real life 😂

"You know, you really have to get past the idea that your habits represent universal practice. They just don't."

OP is in Manchester, though not London so the early dinner/tea is probably more representative than the late one, even though OP herself eats dinner at 8.

When I first met my soon to be Mil, it was an invite to Sunday lunch. I checked that she liked roast beef. Lunch was to be at 1pm, arrive any time after 11.30. She turned up at dead on 1pm saying she'd eaten a sandwich as her lunchtime was 12.30!

@Neverwrestlewithapig Actually, it does happen in real life, in Australia. Teachers often take work home with them. But it is rare to see any teachers on the premises after 4:30. I should know, I was a primary school Admin Assistant.

Im in the South East, I get a text from my son who often finishes work before me, that my dinner is on the table (this I receive about 5, and he keeps it warm till I get in at 5.30 ish. Not to do with this thread but its interesting all the different routines, I really thought everyone ate sometime between 6 and 7. :)

oh and my mum was a primary school teacher, she got home about 5 but would work at home too, marking etc

Peak hour on trains is from 4:30 to 6pm. Most people are home by 6.

Where are you?

Evening peak on trains where I am (central London heading outwards) is 6-7.30pm. Occasionally I have an external meeting that finishes early on days I’m collecting the kids and it’s bliss to get the 1702. You can run up with a minute to spare and still get a seat. The 1723 is busy but not jammed. Anything after 6pm and you’re nose-to-back if you’re standing.

My point being: there isn’t a universal here, so best not to pretend there is.

Surely that doesn't actually matter? The people here were invited to, and agreed to a dinner at a certain time. If that was an issue for their delicate constitutions they should have said no, or had a snack earlier.

"I really thought everyone ate sometime between 6 and 7."

So did I. This thread has been a shock, a real eye opener. I just assumed everyone had dinner around 6, like everyone else around me growing up. Even my mother's family all have dinner at 6, and they are from England. So I just assumed the practice of having dinner at 6pm it was imported from England to Australia. Shocked to hear it isn't common in England. Must tell my English uncle that, who starts getting antsy if his dinner isn't on the table at 7pm at the latest. Lol

I'm an 8pm diner. By the time I finish work, get home and walk the dogs 8pm is the soonest i can eat. Most of my friends are similar- long commutes, putting baby to bed first etc tend to mean 8ish is usual for a weeknight.

I don't know anyone who is home, has cooked and is eating dinner for 6pm. Different strokes for different folks and all that - though I'd be hungry again by 10pm

LunafortJest please dont assume all the posters on this thread are from England

JassyRadlett - I'm in Australia. Even Sydney, the biggest city, their peak hour is the same. Actually around 2:30pm the trains it start getting full with the school kids. After about 4 there is a lull, but then you have the office workers from 4:30. Actually probably more like 4:45/5pm when I think about it.

9pm dinner is not normal.

Well that’s a sweeping statement. Not normal for you perhaps but you can’t speak for others.

Luna, I’m Australian. When I moved to the UK I noticed a couple of things:

*Australians start work much earlier in the day, on average. Shops open earlier, etc etc

• While I used to work bonkers hours in some of my Australian jobs, on average Australians finish work earlier in the day.
• As a result, Australians tend to eat earlier in the evening (I have to recalibrate when my parents or friends are visiting).
• Commutes in Britain can be a lot longer than those in Australia for comparable jobs.

But as you can see from this thread, there are big variations for what time people eat. Again: blanket statements probably not the best, particularly when you’re commenting about Australian norms on a majority British site.

Liverpool and north Wales (not areas where eating at 9pm is normal!

What absolute bullshit. I'm in Liverpool and this is a pretty standard time for dinner for me. People eat when it's convenient to them and their family not because of where they live. Surely you don't think everyone in a whole city and all of North Wales sits down to eat at 6 just because you do!

OP they were spectacularly rude, I can't imagine ever behaving in such a way to a friend. I'd be refrigerating the lovely meal though and having it today, not wasting it on a drunk DP

The time that people eat dinner when they are alone during a normal working week is completely irrelevant to the you eat when you are entertaining.

We normally eat around 7.30 when it's just family.

When we have guests (normally at a weekend), they would not arrive before 8 pm and we would eat around 9 after drinks.

I agree that 9pm is crazy late to be eating tea and 9pm can easily be bed time at our house, I couldn't imagine eating a big meal at that time BUT If I had accepted a meal invitation that was for 9pm due to a friends work commitments etc then I would have had something small to eat round our usual tea time of 5:30/6 and then gone to tea like I said I was going to.

YANBU and have every right to be P'd off at them, very poor form on their behalf!