To think this was ridiculously rude

[lastqueenofscotland]

Invited two friends round for dinner tonight. Due to another commitment it was always going to be late (arrive half 8 eat at 9) explicitly said this when I was arranging it as I know it’s very late for some people.
Assured me it’s fine.

Got food in inc some naice (fucking expensive) ingredients. Get everything cooking, text at 8:45 asking if they are on their way.
Reply “oh no we were too hungry to had to make our own dinner, we can come round in an hour or two after we’re done.”
I was a bit hacked off so told them not to bother
Aibu to be pretty seething

At 6pm in London I'm leaving work. Like loads and loads of other people. Rarely eat an evening meal before 8.30/9 in the week.

Weekends if we're out for dinner or dinner at friends it's usually 8 for 8.30/9 at the earliest.
Not weird. We don't all go to bed at 10pm 🙄
Can't get over that some people think EVERYONE has their dinner at a set time 😂

Snap @joyfullittlehippo
So true about 6pm, most restaurants here are empty at that time.

@LunaFortJess
It is really interesting comparing one person’s norm to another’s but so frustrating when it’s is presented as a fact true for all. Unfortunately, some read comments like this about professions and use them to support their own prejudices.

OP Your guests were rude regardless of the timing of the meal. Whatever time had been agreed, I would still expect guests to arrive with an appetite for the meal - and certainly not wait until you msg them before saying they weren’t going to make it! I’m sorry your friends were so thoughtless.

Your dinner sounded delicious, OP

I find it bizarre anyone thinks there is much of a norm. I have no idea what time most of my friends eat other than it being sometime in the evening.

I would find it more surprising if there was a pattern of people all regularly eating within a simila hour window. I just assume everyone is different because people are different and have different schedules. So weird that this is surprising.

I will never understand adults who can't wait for goodness sake.

How old are they? Five years old? They were too hungry and couldn’t wait for their dinner??!!! I wouldn’t take that sort of behaviour from my kids never mind from friends! I am with you on that one, I would have told them to stay home and they certainly wouldn’t sit at my dinner table again!

Even if you cant wait, have snack - no need for full on dinner.

Isn't there a pretty obvious misunderstanding at the root of this?

Isn't there a pretty obvious misunderstanding at the root of this?
which one? The OP explicitly said this when I was arranging it as I know it’s very late for some people.Assured me it’s fine.

Omg they are adults,not toddlers who can't wait an extra hour or two for dinner. They could have had a wee snack if they really couldn't wait. I would be fuming if I were you op. Did they even apologise?

So many missing the point of the thread!

When people let you down it is very upsetting. It is not just rude but their message sounds quite unkind to me. Yanbu - they have no manners. I would distance myself if I were you. You deserve better

Isn't there a pretty obvious misunderstanding at the root of this?

Is there? What would that be then?

Tinkly laugh at all the people who are getting on the OP’s case for eating dinner at the time that suits her, as is her perfect and quite reasonable right.

Plenty of people eat their evening meal at around that time. Just because you or the circle you move in doesn’t, doesn’t make it abnormal.

Why did someone assume people in Manchester are more likely to eat early?
This thread is brilliant. Competitive late eating!
OP - they were awfully rude. Sorry you're upset.

Sigh *insert don’t in the appropriate place.

YANBU. I'd lose my shit but then again I'm not a good cook and would have spent the day freaking out about having people for dinner. I do hope your Dh appreciated the spread when he got home.

Any word from the friends since?

OP. Did you actually remonstrate with them? Friends or not my response would have been, “well, thanks for nothing, I’ve gone to a lot of bloody effort for you” and made sure they knew they’d been incredibly rude.

They were fucking rude. YANBU. But it seems a lot of people just can't think outside of their boxes from some of the narrow-minded comments on here. 9pm is fine. You pre-warned them. They were rude.

And yes it was really fucking rude. I’d never invite them again, but I am quite harsh like that.

We eat at about 7.00 on family evenings, but later 8.30/9.00 if entertaining. In other countries, the customs are different. You'd be lucky to eat before 10.00 in summer in Spain.

Some of you should make sure you never go to prison, they get dinner at 4:30! (I’ve worked in one not lived in one!). 9pm would be too late for me too. My average is 7, very rarely 8 but I consider 8 too late. As someone said upthread, I’d be concerned that you saying 9 would mean we actually wouldn’t eat until 10. However, as everyone else has said, these people have been very rude. I wouldn’t leave it until the last minute to tell someone that 9 is too late for me.

Agree they were very rude OP, have you heard back?

We regularly eat supper (main meal) at nine. Kids to bed at 1930, then it usually takes a hour or so to cook, so 8.30pm would be the absolute earliest we would eat.

Very mean that is. And selfish. Hope you are ok. No more dinner invites for them!