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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was ridiculously rude

251 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 09/03/2019 20:55

Invited two friends round for dinner tonight. Due to another commitment it was always going to be late (arrive half 8 eat at 9) explicitly said this when I was arranging it as I know it’s very late for some people.
Assured me it’s fine.

Got food in inc some naice (fucking expensive) ingredients. Get everything cooking, text at 8:45 asking if they are on their way.
Reply “oh no we were too hungry to had to make our own dinner, we can come round in an hour or two after we’re done.”
I was a bit hacked off so told them not to bother Blush
Aibu to be pretty seething Blush

OP posts:
CareBear50 · 09/03/2019 21:56

So rude.

I can't eat late as I get indigestion and can't sleep, which is a pain, but not a lot I can do about it!

But I would definitely , have made that clear......and say .....would love to come round but we will eat beforehand...would love to see you for catch-up and drinks if that's okay. What times suits??

Very selfish. Could you ring them when you've calmed down and explain how it made you feel????

mynamesnotMa · 09/03/2019 21:59

so they were going to come over perhaps at 11pm that is really odd

puttingmytwopennethworthin · 09/03/2019 22:01

Very ungracious. How disappointing. I always look forward to spending the evening and eating with friends no matter what time. A great deal of effort goes into planning and cooking. You must feel so let down.

ColdCrumpetsandButter · 09/03/2019 22:07

Who needs enemies with selfish friends like that?!

Leeds2 · 09/03/2019 22:10

Have they got back to you since you told them not to bother coming?

I think they were very rude. If they were that hungry, they could've had a snack to tide them over and still come to yours for the meal.

Junkmail · 09/03/2019 22:11

Christ alive a couple of grown adults couldn’t wait until 9pm to eat??? It’s just plain rude. I eat dinner at around that time every night sometimes later—it’s not that late?? I’m glad you told them not to bother but I’m sorry that you’ve wasted your time and food. More for you to enjoy I guess?

Bookworm4 · 09/03/2019 22:12

Shower of cunts!
Glad you told them to get lost,
tell us what you've made I'm peckish now 😉

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 09/03/2019 22:14

Book I’d made a fancy gnocci bake with spicy tomato sauce and a pesto crumb.
Made the fucking gnocchi and pesto from scratch Angry

Also did a home made garlic ciabatta, done a desert and did some nice posh veg on the side too.

Now to go on DP who would probably be happy with toast

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 09/03/2019 22:18

Have they replied? It's beyond rude! I also wouldn't waste it on drunk dh, fridge it for tomorrow (not the g bread obv!)

LuckyLou7 · 09/03/2019 22:19

I'll eat your gnocchi and ciabatta and posh veg. I'll even bring a bottle of wine to go with it. I'm on my way!

Grin
Jellyonawonkyplate · 09/03/2019 22:19

Absolute rude twats.

Bookworm4 · 09/03/2019 22:20

Sounds fab, glad those ungrateful bints aren't getting it.

mateysmum · 09/03/2019 22:20

That is so rude it's insulting.

For me, it would threaten the whole friendship as it shows disrespect for you and all the effort you put in.

thedisorganisedmum · 09/03/2019 22:20

That's amazingly rude!

It's quite common to be invited for diner at 8pm, and not start until 9pm.
It's actually a lot more uncommon to be invited before that. During the week, many people are not home before 8 anyway.

How do they survive most weddings when you don't start diner until much later and you have barely touched the cake at midnight.

Funkyferret · 09/03/2019 22:20

Some people, because of their health, need to eat/can't eat at certain times. Those aside, I'm always amazed on here at the number of perfectly healthy people traumatised because they are starving, fainting and desperate because they have to wait an hour or two for food. V rude when you had explained, they were still willing to come and had gone to so much effort.

Yidette86 · 09/03/2019 22:21

Although it would normally be a bit late for me to eat at that time (unless I've got drink munchies) I would have just said so or planned my eating around it.

It's rude to say last minute. Don't know why they couldn't have just waited if they normally eat that late anyway.

dayswithaY · 09/03/2019 22:23

This happened to me once. I invited family round for a lunch buffet, put loads of effort into it. Sat there til gone 3pm when they all traipsed in saying "Sorry we're late, been for a carvery". No one ate a thing, I was fuming. People are dense and selfish, it sucks, sorry.

grumiosmum · 09/03/2019 22:27

I think your prospective guests showed a very poor grasp of etiquette.

It is absolutely normal to eat dinner at around 9 pm if you are entertaining people on a weekend - we would normally invite guests to arrive at 8 or 8.15 and sit down at the table to eat at 9. Might do an early supper on a weeknight.

Not surprised you are pissed off. However, it sounds as if they don't know any better.

ChicCroissant · 09/03/2019 22:28

That is rude, they should have told you much earlier that they were not coming or said when you asked them that it was too late for them to eat.

HennyPennyHorror · 09/03/2019 22:29

My SIL did this to me last week. She texted "sorry can't come" with NO explanation.

I didn't even reply. I know she's fine....MIL, who DID turn up said so.

I haven't spoken to her since.

If something's gone wrong...say so! If not, then turn up! I wasted so much money.

VanillaBlossom · 09/03/2019 22:34

Whoa my god...I'd be raging!!
How rude!!
Yes scran is the norm in my part of the woods too.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 09/03/2019 22:37

Really rude and dinner sounds delicious.
If it was too late they should have said at the first invite and politely said they would just meet for drinks.
Sil and neice once just didn't turn up for lunch. We were puzzled and looking down the drive for them to walk up from the car but no just couldn't be arsed. No real reason and hadn't bothered to tell us. So lots of leftovers for us (although not as tasty and as much effort as yours)

AnyOldPrion · 09/03/2019 22:38

My in laws had form for this sort of nonsense. Arriving for meals not very hungry because “we’ve actually just eaten”.

You did absolutely the right thing. I hope you enjoy your meal and that you can have the rest of it later.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 09/03/2019 22:49

LunafortJest I regularly eat at 9pm, that’s totally normal for me.
I do babysitting on Fridays and weekends and regularly get jobs that start at 730/8 where the parents are going to a dinner party that starts between 8-9...it’s not abnormal!

OP they were arseholes!

Gwenhwyfar · 09/03/2019 22:53

"Scran. Love that word - thought it was local dialect."

It is. Liverpool and north Wales (not areas where eating at 9pm is normal!).

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