To ask for what to feed unwanted guests?

[MaryPopppins]

We have a couple coming over on Sunday for lunch.

I don't want either of them here. Nor does DH.

But it's unavoidable. So it's happening. So no "just don't have them" comments please as that's a whole other drama.

Anyway. In the past (when we enjoyed their company) I've cooked various things, roasts, lasagne, buffet type bread/cheese/salad etc.

Well. They're all too much effort for me to go to for them now. Jacket potatoes maybe.

What's the easiest group meal I can throw out. That will feed us, but not make the kitchen and loads of crockery dirty please?

Maybe a big bowl of pasta and a salad?

He's offered to cook.

But seeing as they think I'm such a terrible wife and mother I'd rather be out of the way the best I can be.

I've bought a chicken to roast and will do pasta and salad with it.

Last time we drove to them (holiday traffic so 3+ hours) we got shit food and a tirade of abuse so I hardly feel chicken, pasta and salad is a "crap lunch".

I'm going to be perfectly polite. But they've shown that there's no need for them to know about our "weird" child's counselling, my family's business, or myself.

Just going to keep with "fine thanks" and small talk/let them talk about themselves.

I’m sure they’ll have a long list of Illnesses that you can talk about

I still don’t get why you weren’t “busy” on the dates they suggested!

I do think I’d go out with my “weird” child and leave dh to it.

Fuck em!

Ahhh, the PILs. Well, I’d go for something like a ready-made quiche, salads, garlic bread and ice cream for dessert. Easy but not gross.
Mind you, am now thinking that when we go to certain relatives and get served gross food, are they trying to get rid? The answer is no as the host is such a bad cook she thinks she’s giving us her best cooking 😆
I’d much rather eat my suggestion of quiche etc than her dog food special.,

I feel for you as it sounds quite hurtful and unsupportive of PIL to say the least.

I think what you've planned is perfect, and I don't think your PILs will have reason to complain about it - though from what you've said, they will anyway.

Good luck, hope it goes OK.

Paper plates and plastic cutlery will help with the washing up whatever you decide to serve

I would have done Costco chicken pie thrown in the oven with baked potatoes, served with a nice bag of ready cut salad. Water to drink.

Zero effort - and it shows, if you want to make a point
Minimal washing up
Perfectly nice edible meal for the rest of the family - some of the above suggestions are funny but I wouldn't want to eat or serve them in my house!

We regularly have this as a weekday after work supper. It's fine, nothing to get offended about but the lack of effort will show if they are used to you making fancy meals from scratch.

I actually would not want to host people in my home who had made those comments about my parenting & my child, so they wouldn't be coming. I either would not be meeting them or would be meeting on neutral ground like a cafe or restaurant, and would pay for my meal but not theirs. Otherwise my husband would be welcome to visit them if he chose to, but I wouldn't go, and I would not expose my child to them without a parent present, if at all, given their comments about the child.

"I'm not going to be the person to stop grandkids seeing grandparents"

Really? If my ILS were referring to my child as "weird" they wouldn't be anywhere near them

Tbh when aI have people over that I don't like I'd rather spend ages in the kitchen alone doing the cooking. You would have to be sure that the PIL will stay with DH though, it would be a bit of a nightmare if you end up alone and trapped with MIL.

I would go out and let your DH cook and entertain them whilst they spent time with the kids.

I don't think your child would be losing out if they didn't see that set of grandparents. I think they would be better off not being exposed to people who don't love their grandchild.

But, if they were coming over, then I'd get DH to pop to Tesco's and get a couple of hot chickens (2 because they're not very big, and the leftovers can be used the next day) a couple of bags of salads, coleslaw, and some fresh bread, and put a pan of new potatoes on to boil, or chuck some jacket spuds in the oven.

You can always feign a headache, and go for a lie down (read a book, or watch something in your bedroom).

And afterwards, have a good long think about whether it's in your child's best interests to continue with this relationship.

Some sort of gruel should do the job

Yes when my PILs come, I hide in the kitchen too.

I wonder if you genuinely would be better meeting and eating out. Any rudeness you can excuse yourself and leave?

I’d make comments about hoping it doesn’t upset your tummy again as you’ve had the squits all week.

Ah op I see you've bought stuff now, but you could keep the chicken for another day and just go out to the chippy. Potentially a fab meal while going to the least amount of effort possible

Good luck with it, I had a huge fall-out with MIL 18 months ago and went NC for a bit. She's good as good now almost

I’d have gone for cheaper and cheerful

Thanks all.

I'm very pleasantly surprised how supportive this thread has been.

Just in from drinks out with friends so feeling positive in myself and my parenting and it's a nice place to be. I'm sure tomorrow will be fine.

Just such a smack in the face after 14 years of thinking I'd struck lucky with the MIL and everyone else moaning about theirs.

Turns out I didn't at all and either she just managed to fool me for that long, or I didn't something I wasn't aware of to make her go from loving me to hating me. So if she tries to say anything tomorrow that's what I'll tell her. Hope hurtful it was to find out how little she thought of me (& my family who also have always genuinely loved her, included them in gatherings etc etc)

In any event this time tomorrow that'll be our duty of needing to see her done for a while.

Did they use the word ‘weird’ or a similar word?
Chicken,, pasta and salad will be very nice. They may not notice any difference in your hospitality.

Was gonna suggest bangers, mash & baked beans. Simple & one of my fav meals

How did it go op?

DH and I had a former college friend who invited himself to our house FOR A WEEK as his annual holiday, arrived empty handed, hung around the kitchen watching DH cooking and smacking his lips, never lifted a finger to help/clear/wash up, expected to be entertained each day, and when some invited friends arrived to stay refused to move out but left them to take the sofa. He contributed nothing all week, and after he left there was no thank you letter. I quite liked him before but now I never want to see him again. So I feel your pain, OP. How about sending them out for a takeaway?

Egg, chips & beans. The tossers.

Good luck