Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this inappropriate?

187 replies

Honeyishrunktherat · 07/03/2019 15:41

Won’t identify myself as keen to garner responses.

Person A organises free drinks at a pub near their work for a workplace hobby society they are a part of eg Watersports Club. They invite B and C from their actual work. B and C have nothing in common with the others (both female, the others aren’t; fair bit younger than the others etc) but end up staying on for drinks at the event until late into the evening. They mainly chat to each other but also mingle with the group.

Has anyone behaved inappropriately in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Haworthia · 07/03/2019 15:56

Surely it’s A’s fault for inviting B and C to “watersports club” drinks, when they don’t belong to watersports club?

Mitzimaybe · 07/03/2019 16:01

Unless the club members had agreed in advance that it would be good to invite non-members in the hope of getting them to join, then A was inappropriate in inviting non-members to an event that the club was paying for. B and C have not done anything wrong.

LL83 · 07/03/2019 16:04

A is inappropriate for inviting non hobby colleagues without checking with others and spending the club money on B and Cs drinks.

Mmmhmmm · 07/03/2019 16:05

Were B and C not meant to talk to anyone else? Why invite them then?

Or better question, whose wife had a hissy fit about the drinks night where it sounds like nothing inappropriate happened?

Mitzimaybe · 07/03/2019 16:05

Addendum to my previous post: it depends how the club is funded. If the club is funded by a membership fee i.e. funded by the members, then my previous answer stands (A should not have invited B and C unless the other members agreed this in advance.)

As it's a workplace club, if the club is funded by the employer at no cost to the club members, then it should be OK to invite other employees, although I still think A should have cleared it with other members before doing so.

TheInvestigator · 07/03/2019 16:05

Come back, OP!!

OKBobble · 07/03/2019 16:06

If B and C were invited then surely it isn't a problem.

Or A would have said B and C come along to our drinks if you fancy it but I am afraid you will have to buy your own.

Possibly A is inappropriate if she invited B and C without permission/approval from the rest of the Watersports Club and it is the club funds paying for the drinks and one of the other members has asked why this has been allowed.

Awrite · 07/03/2019 16:08

A shouldn't have invited B and C to partake in the free drinks aspect unless permission from club was given. Or, unless it was open to no members.

Imagine if every club member invited 2 guests?

SilverySurfer · 07/03/2019 16:10

Why were they invited if not participants in the club? It would have been ok to invite them I guess, providing they paid for their own drinks. They shouldn't have been getting free drinks with Club money. Lot's of questions, come back and answer them.

BlameItOnBianca · 07/03/2019 16:10

If A has invited B and C then no, no one has been unreasonable - you can't police how people interact with each other. A must have had a pretty good idea B & C didn't have the same interests as those from the society/hobby, so this one is on A imo.

HungryForSnacks · 07/03/2019 16:11

*"... they invite B and C..."
*
So B and C go to an event they were invited to and appeared to behave appropriately.

Failing to see the big scandal here...

TixieLix · 07/03/2019 16:11

Was it A who invited B and C, or the club in general?

If the answer is A, then A is a bit of a CF. If the Hobby Club were paying for the free drinks for members, then A shouldn't have invited B and C to partake of the free drinks if they're nothing to do with the hobby. If the whole club were in agreement to invite B and C then I don't see an issue.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2019 16:12

Gif they are not part of the club, then absolutely whomever invited them has behaved inappropriately, sounds like they just turned up forma free bevvy and stayed late enjoying thr free booze and kept to themselves.

So yes, whoever made thr invite and the two women behaved inappropriately

JenniferJareau · 07/03/2019 16:13

I might be pissed off that two people who were not part of the club were benefitting from free drinks all night presumably paid for from the club kitty.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2019 16:13

Actually. Scrub that's it was the person who made the invites bad. Inviting them and expecting the club to pay for them.

Fairenuff · 07/03/2019 16:14

OP is person A and is getting grief from wives of club members for inviting two young females into their male gathering.

Amirite?

Loopytiles · 07/03/2019 16:14

Please clarify OP!

Loopytiles · 07/03/2019 16:15

What is the club’s policy on members inviting non members to events where refreshments are funded by the club?

BollocksToBrexit · 07/03/2019 16:15

Why were B and C invited? It sounds like they're not in the club and don't know any of the club members. Is the issue that 2 young women were invited for drinks with a group of older men?

Hello1290 · 07/03/2019 16:16

If the event was organized, paid and exclusively meant for the workplace society then A should not have invited B and C.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2019 16:17

Op, you are a b or c aren't you?

Because this is phrased in a way to make it seem ok, with th critical info missing,

If you'd written hobby might for club members only, with free bar, paid for by the club and two non members were invited by someone, who then sat and drank the free booze and kept to themselves, then the responses would have been that's not ok.

ScarlettDarling · 07/03/2019 16:19

The way I've read it, it sounds like a middle aged man has invited two younger women from his work to a sports club do where all the members are also middle aged men?

If it was my dh doing the inviting I'd be a bit Hmm. It seems like an odd thing to do and I'd be wondering why he'd invited them.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2019 16:19

OP is person A and is getting grief from wives of club members for inviting two young females into their male gatherin

I'd assume she is a also, but she's getting grief for inviting her mates for a free piss up at the clubs expense.

HollowTalk · 07/03/2019 16:20

It's OK that B and C were there, but not OK that they got free drinks.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 07/03/2019 16:20

I think it depends on why B and C were invited and why they agreed to come.

If they were invited to come and see what the membership was like, because they'd expressed an interest in joining, and agreed this would be a great way to do so, then I think they were rude to show up, take advantage of the free drinks, and spend most of the evening talking together and not really making an effort.

If they were invited 'just because' A was going to be there, they should have been buying their own drinks.