To ask opinions on sex while pregnant with a man who's not the dad

[blackcoffeeinbed]

What are people's opinions on having sex with someone you have met at 25weeks pregnant after being single for 3 months after splitting up from baby's dad?

Have had a friend ask my opinion on wether I think this is acceptable. I was a bit surprised by her asking and didn't really know what to say. I ended up saying it's her life and her body and if she is comfortable then it's her choice but to make sure she uses a condom as she hasn't known this guy long. She responded that she doesn't know if she should because it feels wrong while she has her baby inside her still, I said that if she is unsure then not to pressure herself.

I've never really thought about it tbh and usually I'm just of the opinion what people do isn't any of my business, but reflecting on it now I don't think I personally would if i was her, I can't put my finger on why exactly but then I've never been in her position! What do others think? Would you? Wouldn't you? Have you?

Who knew that this issue is where so many would fail the misogyny test? So many depressing responses.

I also find the idea a bit grim but can't articulate precisely why

Misogyny? So you agree with everything other women do? As I’ve said I’d think the bloke was grim too in this situation.

It never occurred to me that this would be an issue for the woman (I can understand a men feeling a bit weird sleeping with a woman who was impregnated by someone else). I wouldn’t think twice in her position but perhaps I’m a bit hedonistic.

I don't think anyone would say the same to someone who had a sperm donor or a surrogate. SO basically they're just admitting they're judging her for having sex and enjoying it with more than one guy.

clutches ruff
Do people really believe that if the baby was capable of thought it would be far happier with his father's dick and spunk so close to his own head? Really?

I think it's very sad so many women see themselves as gestators for a man. They honestly can't believe a man might be attracted to and interested in a pregnant woman without some kind of fetish.

Im sorry but ive been single through all of my pregnancies and have never done this. I think its disgusting and yes I would judge!

You may not see the irony in that post but you do realise hoW many people would have judged you for being single through "all" of your pregnancies right?

As I’ve said I’d think the bloke was grim too in this situation.

Grim for touching a woman who had been SOILED by another man. Greer you're not.

I had sex a few times with my DH whilst pregnant and it was fine because he loves me and created the baby with me

I'm sure the baby was thinking of the love you shared while your dh had his finger up your bum.

Have none of you ever given a blow job while pregnant?

Everything you eat the baby eats!

Best join the nunnery today.

Pointing out that they were both grim and not just me being misogynistic

Yes Turtle!!!

Live and let bang, that's what I say

I am truely shocked that so many of you think it's wrong, or worse still disgusting.

So long as she used contraception, I have no issue with it.

I don’t think it’s contraception she has to worry about

But condoms definitely necessary to prevent stds.

I think it just sounds complicated. One relationship to recover from, another starting up and a baby on the way. A lot of emotional stuff to juggle there. Unless she justs wants the sex and is happy with that, then as long as she stays safe it's up to her. Can't say it feels right to me but I'm an old married bird who doesn't do casual sex so it wouldn't I suppose.
As an aside, I got more chat ups and propositions when pregnant with my first child than at any other time in my life. I have no idea why, and kept pointing out I was pregnant and happily married. One even came up, winked and said, 'wanna make it twins?'
By the time I was carrying number two, looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards with number one still up in the night and still breast-feeding they were running a mile lol.

That's so complex, it's not just sex, it's emotion and responsibility!

I'm quite surprised at my own gut reaction too, tbh. I'm definitely not a prude and generally of the opinion that you should shag whoever you like if you're single.. but apparently not when pregnant 🤷‍♀️

@Oblomov19 why would she need contraception? I'm so.confused!

One even came up, winked and said, 'wanna make it twins?'

Urgh. Some men just need neutering.

I was hit on and/or complimented by men in a way that made me feel quite uncomfortable a few times while pregnant, so I'd be concerned he wanted to shag the pregnancy rather than me. I think that fetish is much more common than we think I'd no idea it even existed

How very different from the home life of our own dear Queen.

Lord knows the royals have always kept in their pants and never had any paternity questions there eh.

I would also be totally creeped out by the idea of sex with a man whose ex was pregnant.

Wow. This thread. The judgement and expectations of pregnant women in our society is pretty grim. Adult consensual sex is not a big deal, pregnant or not.

I think you're probably right and my gut feeling is absolutely entrenched in internalised misogyny Roomba MeAgainAgain HerSymphony

Personally I'm very willing to have a think about why I feel this way. I like a bit of critical thought.

You may have made several people do the same, but they may not necessarily come back to let you know that, if that helps?

I suppose on a basic animal attraction level it's natural to find a female being successfully pregnant attractive.
It's when societies view gets involved it gets 'icky'. And societies view is incredibly misogynist.
Sex workers who work during pregnancy are always busy. Fact.

Wow thank you everyone for your replies, it's such a mixed response!

Just to be clear my friend says she has no intention of getting into a relationship with this guy she is just really attracted to him and as she put it 'craving some intimacy'. I know that she's lonely and feeling quite isolated atm which I totally understand being left to go it alone like she has. But as her friend I think that's my problem I don't want her to already be emotionally fragile and get into something that could put more pressure on her. It's also concerned me as a lot of people have said that he is clearly attracted to her also and she is beginning to look quite heavily pregnant, I do think that's a bit odd but I've not met him to judge, she said he's very sweet.

I think my opinion is that I couldn't, properly because it would feel disrespectful almost to the baby. But as I said before people's business is their own and I'm not one to judge. I just want my friend to be happy and make the right choice for herself, I wouldn't say to her 'hell no that's disgusting' or 'what's wrong with him to want to do that' I feel it's up to her to decide.

And to the person that said about me posting this for millions of mns to read or whatever it was! Yeah I've posted on here about it because tbh I've been unsure of what to say to my friend of many years, and if when I speak to her tomorrow I tell her I've done this then I know 100% she wouldn't bat an eyelid, she would be more interested than me to see the responses I'm sure so maybe she can make a more informed decision over wether making such a move would be right for her.

The OP clearly says her friend is not sure she wants to do it. So perhaps she feels vulnerable and very alone at being single at 25 weeks pregnant. Perhaps she feels she should engage in sex with this man as she is looking for security. Perhaps it isn’t about feminism and female liberation. Perhaps she actually feels pressure to have sex with this man to please him, and keep him. Maybe she feels she won’t be able to find another relationship once the baby comes. Maybe she is scared of being a single parent.
From what the OP says, it sounds as if this isn’t really something she wants to do. Maybe that’s why the reaction to it is so visceral.
I personally enjoyed sex with my DH during pregnancy, but that felt safe. To me this situation sounds like a woman in a vulnerable situation, feeling as if she has to give a man sex because he would expect it of her. She’s probably asking you OP, as she may well want to hear you say “it’s ok not to”.

RE: the fetish potential, some men have fetishes for heavy women. Should those women never have sex either because the man might want to fuck her because she's overweight? Or has fake breasts, or is blond, red headed, has pubic hair, hasn't got pubic hair?