To ask what questions your dcs asked which left you lost for words??

[trebless]

So 7 year old dd strutted into the long room and said the following:

'Mum you know I never ever want a boyfriend, I never want to be married and I do not want to have babies so that means I'm gonna live with you forever and ever and ever'.....

Me: 'Oh well that would be lovely sweetheart but you might cha.....'

Dd interrupting me 'but not really forever because you are going to get old and then you will be dead. I'll probably ask Lexie (her cousin) to come live with me then. I'm having your room though'

No words from me to reply. Somehow proud of her forward thinking though

4 year old son asked me today if Jesus had melted on the cross because it was hot.

(confusing things with hot cross buns apparently!!!)

When DD1was about 2.5 I notice she had a big bruise on her elbow - “oh what happen to your elbow” I said
“you threw me down the stairs mummy” DD1
“Erm, no I didn’t!!”
“ yes you did.....ow mummy!,”
For the record I didn’t throw her down the stairs!!

Did she fall down the stairs? Or fall over?
Just asking because my DS went through a phase of saying we'd pushed him when he bumped into something etc. or if we brushed past him. He found it hard to tell the difference.

My dd then 3 just before her baby sister was born
Me: remember only grown ups can pick up the baby, if you want to hold the baby just ask and someone will pick baby up for you.
Dd: so only grown ups pick up the baby
Me: yes exactly.
Dd: can Auntie Jane pick up the baby
Me: yes auntie Jane (age 14 almost 15) can pick up the baby.
Dd: but auntie Jane not an adult she still at school.
Me: I’m the mummy I choose who can pick up the baby.
Dd: ok mummy.

And she never picked the baby up, always asked someone to pick up her baby sister for her so she could have a cuddle.

DS8 went to stay with MIL once and came home the following day and (over our roast dinner) asked "Daddy, what are anal beads?". DH obviously choked to death so I had to ask where he'd seen/heard about those and he said he'd picked up MIL's reading book next to her bed and read those words in a sentence, but didn't want her to know he'd been snooping in her room.

I didn't even know where to begin with the madness.

5yr old me in back of car with 4yr old cousin. Mum driving.

Me: I know what sex is
Cousin: what?
((Mum wondering wtf she is going to tell my aunt))
Me: it's short for seconds.

I always was a know-it-all...

My daughter once asked me if I’d ever give her Dad a blow job. When I asked her if she seriously wanted me to answer that she yelled ‘OH MY GOD, you have’. Not sure which one of us was more embarrassed. 😂

@drspouse no she hadn't fallen down the stairs or tripped at home. She was (and still is) a walking accident and regularly came home from nursery and more latterly school with notes about various bumps (takes after her mum )

My dd1 was having the birds and the bees talk and at the end asked “ when you and dad next have sex....can I watch?”

Not ao much the question but who too and how it was said. My DS then 5 had askes about babies due to a pregnant aunt. We explained briefly that mummys keot them in thwir tummies for 9 months until they had grown all their major parts then they uaualky went to hospital when the baby would be delivered. Roll on a delivery coming from DPD and my 5 year old aaying to the poor young lad "Martin why do you deliver the new babies to hospital when they come out of thier mummies bellys why dont you just deliver them striaght to thw house instead."

After following a hearse when ds was about 6/7 yo. A conversation followed about death, burial and cremation.

And ds asked
"So basically when your dead your choice is to be put underground and walked on or burnt to ashes?"

Was lost for words then as it pretty much summed it up!

DS then around 4

'Why do the windows taste different today?'

The implication of this was not just that DS had licked the window but that he did it with enough regularity to have some sort of window flavour database.

The answer to the question was that DH had just cleaned the windows.

"Where's Daddy?"

😳

My DS aged 8 “Mummy, when you were little, were you an Angle or a Saxon?”

My dd came home from high school (she was 11 at the time) and asked me what porn is!!! Someone on the bus had told her to watch it!

I was once given the Spanish Inquisition by my 6yo niece, who'd been to a party:
"Why does everyone say 'pin the tail', when it's Blu-tack?"
"Why did Jayden's mummy cover my eyes? I can close my eyes, you know."
"Why did she spin me round?"
"Why couldn't I see the scarf, when it was right in front of my eyes?"
And when I'd done my best to answer all this:
"How did the donkey lose his tail?"

Two weeks ago my mum was visiting. We were sat down about to tuck into pasta bake and my five year old asks his nan “How old are you?”
She replied “65”, to which my son said in a shocked voice...
“Shouldn’t you be dead?!”
🤭😳
To say she was shocked and upset was an understatement!

At Disneyland with ds(3)

Me ..look there is woody and buzz
Ds...no mummy they are just people dressed up
Me....no its not its the real buzz and woody
Ds...no its not mummy, can we go on some rides now
Me.... ok

Ds (2) is currently very interested in who does and doesn't have a willy. As he goes through everyone he knows, I remind him, again, that only men and boys have a willy. He ponders this before asking 'do gingerbread men have willies?' 😳😂

I was texting my mum and put LOL at the end, she then asked me does that stand for little old lady!

I was in the supermarket with one of my boys. He was about 4 at the time. I was looking for something on the shelves, he was sitting in the trolley when he said very loudly “mummy...why is that lady SO fat?” We were very close to a rather round lady. I didn’t know what to say, she must’ve heard. So I didn’t reply, he promptly asked me again...even louder 😳 😊

*DS8 went to stay with MIL once and came home the following day and (over our roast dinner) asked "Daddy, what are anal beads?". DH obviously choked to death so I had to ask where he'd seen/heard about those and he said he'd picked up MIL's reading book next to her bed and read those words in a sentence, but didn't want her to know he'd been snooping in her room.

I didn't even know where to begin with the madness.*

I've just wet myself laughing!!!

My daughter once asked us if she could get a chocolate lesbian 😂

She meant chocolate labrador😂

My 16 year old son (really quite significantly immature, but still) asked me in a lift the other day: ‘Mum, are you a virgin?’ 😖 I answered him & he went ‘Oh right. I’ve wanted to ask for ages. Do have you had sex in the last three months?’

Should add that he is adopted & I am single or it sounds even worse!

Dd aged 5 or 6, to my dm & sf, do you still have sex? When dm said yes, dd said eeewwwweee 🤮!!
Dd aged 10, on a bus after school.

Mum, what's a blow job??
Didn't know where to put myself 😂