To ask what questions your dcs asked which left you lost for words??

[trebless]

So 7 year old dd strutted into the long room and said the following:

'Mum you know I never ever want a boyfriend, I never want to be married and I do not want to have babies so that means I'm gonna live with you forever and ever and ever'.....

Me: 'Oh well that would be lovely sweetheart but you might cha.....'

Dd interrupting me 'but not really forever because you are going to get old and then you will be dead. I'll probably ask Lexie (her cousin) to come live with me then. I'm having your room though'

No words from me to reply. Somehow proud of her forward thinking though

When I was 16 my boyfriends younger sister (yr 6) asked me
"What does horny mean?"
"erm.....It's like if you had horns you'd be horny"
"Nope, thats not it."
"where did you hear it?"
"We were talking about sex in class"

I was mortified, not something I was geared up to talk about!

We were attending my grandmother in law's funeral and there were some tall monuments in the graveyard. My son, who was 7 at the time asked loudly. 'Do they bury people horizontally or vertically?'

My 7yo DS asked the other day: "Mummy, is God dead?"

Me: Errm why do you ask that?

DS: "Because heaven is where all the dead people go and that's where he lives so I thought he must be dead too... well is he?"

I muttered something about it depends what you believe and changed the subject.

When one of my ds was 4 he announced he knew what heaven was, I said oh yes? He said it's where God lives in the clouds with the black people. Absolutely no idea what that was about.

Ds6 asked if he could have some gel pens

Me- if you would like some we will buy them, I used to use gel pens at school

Ds- gel pens??!!! No you didn’t, you used those things that were made of feathers!

I’m not that old......

Oh wow, quite a lot. Off the top of my head;

My eldest boy on the way to his first morning at nursery, seeing all the pensioners on the way to the bustop
asked me very loudly if old people were zombies...

My youngest son upon proudly showing me his drawing of a WW2 plane asked me if it looked as I remembered from the war (I was 31)

Same son, then around 6 asking my then 4 year old daughter if she wanted to go to Mosque with him tomorrow then asking my permission (completely non-religious family)

There are so many, I’ll post again if any more come to mind!

From my DS when he was 9: "mum, where does my mid go when I'm asleep?"

That was over 20 years ago and I still can't fully explain it

Blast it ... that should have read "mind"

My 3yo asks a lot of interesting "why" questions, I'm embarrassed to say on more then one occasion I've had to reply "let's Google it"

She also told me a few weeks ago that she wanted to live with me forever, I said no problem. She said she'd probably only have one child, no husband as they looked like hard work (😂) and while she's busy being a vet will I help with her child.

She also said I'd have to kick her dad out as he's allergic to dogs and she's definitely buying her future child a dog 😂

My friend and her son (my DD's best friend) were moving house when my DD was about 3 or 4. I'd arranged to bring lunch over the day before and help with packing and we were taking some stuff in our large car to help them move house. On our way there that morning, daughter said 'When Ollie and Jo-Jo move house, we'll have to push very hard won't we?'

DGD is fascinated by motorbikes. I told her that my dad sometimes gave me a lift to school on the back of his motorbike.

"They didn't have cars then, did they?" she asked. Then answered her own question with "They weren't invented".

At the sooty show, meeting Richard and Sooty: Mummy! Did you know Sooty is a PUPPET?
At the top of his lungs... god, the Howling from the queue!
Am a grown up so we legged it...

I was taking taking a call from clinic to arrange an appointment to have imant changed. DS11 overheard and asked why I needed an appointment. I decided he was old enough to know what an implant (already know facts of life) was so explained briefly. His comment was "oh but I thought you are too old to have sex mum"

DD and friend asked friends Dad what a penis was.
He gave a long (unnecessary, but he was very academic) explanation including sex/sperm etc.
When he'd finished his daughter said 'we thought it was someone who played the piano'.

My daughter was shell shocked for a week or two. SIL was pregnant at the time and DD told me she 'couldn't believe auntie had done that'

If the seed got into my tummy to grow them using a calpol syringe...

Why do we have people?

From 3 year old. Not meaning our people particularly, just people in general.

My youngest daughter asked if I was on the Titanic.

My sister once told my DGM that Jesus had been killed on a cross. My DGM answered yes I know love. Cue sister saying did you read about it in the newspapers Nanny

My ds when he was about 6 came into the room one day and asked me, "What is nuclear fusion?"

I asked him where he'd got that from and it turned out to be a child's science book he'd inherited from my younger siblings which was a bit too old for him. I tried to work out how to explain what a subatomic particle is... hmm.

I said, "Do you know what an atom is?"
"No mummy."
"Well everything is made of tiny little bits..."

He was looking at me as if I grew another head. At that point I gave up and told him to ask me whan he's older. He was an advanced reader but not a scientific genius!

Separate occasions:

'What's a threesome?'
'What's buggery?'

When my youngest stepson was about 5, his dad was putting him to bed one night. (He used to like to go to sleep in his dad's big bed, then OH would carry him through to his own bed when he went to bed.)
When OH was sitting on the bed to talk to him, the LO suddenly came out with "Dad, have you had sex in this bed?"
My OH was gobsmacked, but caught on the back foot, replied "yes."
LO - "How many times?"

lt turned out that eldest stepson had been having sex education at school, and had told LO to "ask his dad". The boys are both grown up now and OH says he still breaks into a sweat at the thought of it.

When my cousin's little boy was about four, he was out in the garden with his dad, who was trimming the hedges and apple trees.
Out of the blue the little one announced loudly "Daddy! My willy's gone very straight!"
Fortunately his dad was unfazed, handed him his water pistol and said "here. Go and squirt some wasps."

I remember being in boots one Saturday morning many years ago with my 5 and 6 year olds. They were whispering and giggling so I said to them loudly “what are u two giggling about” they answered equally as loudly “ mummy” turning to point “ why has that man got ladies clothes on?” I turned to look where they were pointing and there was a middle aged man in a floral floaty dress and a floppy hat looking at the make up. He looked at me I looked at him and I said “ because some men like to wear dresses” my kids accepted what I said but still kept giggling. From then on if the kids were laughing at something in a shop I always whispered when I asked what they were laughing about. 😁

"Why is blue?" (Suspect DD had been gazing at the sky) and, on a different occasion, "what's this finger?" (her own finger that she was holding up for our inspection.) We were rather stumped for answers. We asked if she meant to ask why the sky was blue but no. Why is blue, blue. A tantrum ensued when we couldn't give a satisfactory answer.

At an elderly distant relatives memorial (she'd been cremated, her ashes were being buried), my brother asked where Auntie was. When told she was in the box he shouted out "what, all of her?"

That raised a few smiles!