To ask what questions your dcs asked which left you lost for words??

[trebless]

So 7 year old dd strutted into the long room and said the following:

'Mum you know I never ever want a boyfriend, I never want to be married and I do not want to have babies so that means I'm gonna live with you forever and ever and ever'.....

Me: 'Oh well that would be lovely sweetheart but you might cha.....'

Dd interrupting me 'but not really forever because you are going to get old and then you will be dead. I'll probably ask Lexie (her cousin) to come live with me then. I'm having your room though'

No words from me to reply. Somehow proud of her forward thinking though

My cousin's little girl was about five when her grandma died. She'd been told that "grandma has gone to live in Heaven with Jesus" and seemed to accept it. Until she heard her auntie say she was going to see her mum (in the chapel of rest).
She asked how Auntie M was going to see nana if she was with Jesus. So my cousin (caught out) explained that it was just "like nana had left a coat behind that Auntie M was going to see."
"So how did nana get to Heaven to live with Jesus?"
My cousin (thinking cremation!) said "she went up a kind of chimney."
"Oh!" Then a pause. "D'you think she might see Santa in the chimney?"
(lt was getting close to Christmas.)
My cousin "Well yes, l think she might!"
Little girl "Well l hope she tells him l want a Barbie Ken!"

In my late teens I used to work at a summer holiday club and a seven year old boy I was looking after asked me if my colleague had been artificially inseminated she wasn't even pregnant!

Little Year 7: “Miss, y’know condoms”

Me: “yeeees”

LY7: “why do they have flavoured ones?”.

Teaching reproduction to Year 7 is always fun!

No kids yet but my dad loves telling this story about me. I was up late once on a weekend, around 4-5 years old. Dad asked if I wanted anything for supper before I went to bed, and I asked for cheese on toast. He said "you can't have cheese before bed, it will give you nightmares". Apparently I sat there thinking for a moment before asking "How does the cheese know I'm going to bed?"

Had the family over for the day, parents,grandparents . We were sat eating a meal and she asked ' Why is everything always sex ?' We all stopped talking and quite a few looked at me to see how I'd answer . I asked her to repeat the question. Turned out she asked Why is everything 6 . As in 6 bread rolls to a packet, 6 cakes ,etc . Phew !

Age 11... stood at train station waiting for the train. Mum what’s an std? where have you heard that!!!! Train ticket ‘standard’ class

Was it scary when dinosaurs were on earth?

Was everything black and white when you were little, mum?
When did you get colour?
He wasn't talking about tv, he thought things used to be black and white

DS1 asked me, in all seriousness, whether I used to walk to school or go in a horse and carriage. He was ten at the time! Nothing quite like that to make me feel ancient...

We went on a family holiday to a lovely hotel and as part od the package there was a free cocktail included. Wouldn't you know it had to be 'sex on the beach'
My dd was really taken with them and wouldn't stop talking about it.
When we got home my MIL asked how the holiday had gone. Dd replied 'it was only ok but mum and dad had sex on the beach'
She was not amused!😂😂😂

While reading The Three Little Pigs:

"Why did the wolf try to blow down the brick house?"

To get to the pigs

"But wouldn't it be easier to blow the glass out of the windows?"

DS(4): "Where is the internet?"
Me:"...daddy (IT professional) knows all about that!"

Mum, do you masturbate?

After attending catholic schools all my life, I asked my Dad what religion the Pope was, I was 14,.

When my son was about 7

"I don't like girls. Me and Ollie are going to just live together. In a gay. But he doesn't want to live in Barcelona so I think we'll just live in London and play for Spurs instead. I'd still like to visit Barcelona though ..."

😂

@Dutch1e

"But wouldn't it be easier to blow the glass out of the windows?"

Ok, no pun intended but MIND BLOWN!!! How come I never considered that?! How come nobody in the history of that story being told has ever considered that?!?

"Mummy, when are we going to actually fight crime?"
Said in a weary tone.

"Who looked after everyone in the world when we were all babies?"

“When Jesus was little do you think he ever wet the bed?”

Um...

Dd(6) “which would rather fight..a giant cow or tiny sheep?"
Dd(15) "..a tiny sheep!"
DD(6) “what if it was a demon tiny sheep?"
Dd(15) "you never said it was a demon sheep"
Dd(6) “what if it was a zombie giant cow or tiny demon sheep?"

DN(6)"why does Donald trump hate farmers?"
Me: ...
Dn "Is he a vegetarian?"
Me: I dont think he hates farmer and I'm sure he's a meat eater...
DN: "why is he building a wall to keep them all out then?"
Me: " Oh, you mean foreigners" (explains what it means)
DN: (thinks for a while) "why wouldn't he like foreigners"
In the end the conversation turns to racism/stereotypes/racists
"People have issues with people aren't white?"

In the end she decided some people are silly and asked for some more apple juice. I've never seen a child think with so much thought.

Not really a question, but a few months ago, my daughter (2yrs 7m at the time) randomly started talking to me about when she lived in my tummy. She told me it was dark and she was all squashed up, but then all the water came out and she came out too.
I've never had that sort of chat with her before, and I know no one else has either. She's never watched anything re being born, so I can only think that this is a memory somehow? Still baffles me now...

@FurrySlipperBoots

Me too. I can't believe I got to this age without it ever occurring to me before

Whilst I’m putting a tampon in...

DS: Mummy, are you sticking that up your bum?
Me: .....

DC aged about 8: "what's a skewer?"

me (distracted, busy cooking): "a long thin metal or wooden spike"

DC: "Isn't it a bird?"

me (deeply patronising tone): "no, darling, it's definitely a spike which you can put different vegetables and meat on, to make a kebab"

DC:

DD 13 Mummy Did you report my male PE teacher for going in girls changing rooms whilst we are getting dressed?
Me Yes
DD Mummy I am never speaking you again, never I tell you. I told you I just wanted advice. Flounces off.
5 mins later DD to me what's happening with PE teacher will you tell me?
Me Yes then she chats to me for an hour solid.

DS (12) Mummy I want to do some international maths competitions.
Me you need to be 16 or Einstein for those.
DS I am Einstein. Please find out where?
2 days later me to DS are you still Einstein? DS Of course I am.
DD Do you remember the time DS said he was David Cameron?
Me I was trying to forget about that.
Me to DS Do you think you will ever be Trump?
DS No I don't like nuclear war so I will never be Trump.