To ask what questions your dcs asked which left you lost for words??

[trebless]

So 7 year old dd strutted into the long room and said the following:

'Mum you know I never ever want a boyfriend, I never want to be married and I do not want to have babies so that means I'm gonna live with you forever and ever and ever'.....

Me: 'Oh well that would be lovely sweetheart but you might cha.....'

Dd interrupting me 'but not really forever because you are going to get old and then you will be dead. I'll probably ask Lexie (her cousin) to come live with me then. I'm having your room though'

No words from me to reply. Somehow proud of her forward thinking though

When my brother and I were small we were getting sent to bed before New Years night/Hogmanay. My brother asked my mum if he could stay up late in the year 2000. He was 32 in the year 2000 by the way...

I have one that my mum asked me:

Do you know what dogging is?

females on her side of the family do have a history of longevity

great but I think 2000+ years is pushing it no?

Yesterday my DS asked me "mummy, when you die will you go and be in the museum?"

(this is because we saw skeletons...)

Oh, and this one which I had noooo idea how to answer (I'm an atheist but DS got into a C of E school)

"Mummy, if God is really old why isn't he dead?"

In response to the radio news bulletin- why are all paedophiles priests? Or something to that effect, Asked by my 6-year-old cousin.

A few years ago, my older daughter once told her plan that her best friend was going to marry her best friend's other best friend and the three of them would all live together and I would watch the baby while they were working or when she was on the International Space Station. I wasn't really sure how to respond to this plan. She still at 12 confuses me by asking why people would ever do [X], many of which are pretty common things, but she thinks are mean or weird.

Recently, I was talking with my older daughter about life just being weird sometimes when my youngest piped up, "But life is but a dream...?" with a very serious little face. I was lost for words for a few minutes before I asked him where he got that from. My daughter and I eventually figured out it was a short video we'd watched during Dias de los Muertos last year. He regularly comes out with random and mildly morbid things.

When god dies, will Jesus be God?

What's that Russian word again that rhymes with "tomato"? DS age 5.

We don't speak Russian...

The arrival of DH’s first few grey hairs has led to to much speculation from DS1 (5 y/o) about when he’s going to die of old age and go to heaven. Poor DH, he’s only 35.

The two older DSs and I were sitting at the bus stop at the local hospital next to an older gentleman we’d been chatting to. The hospital had a “bfing welcome” sign with a logo of a woman bfing, so DS1 asked about it and I discreetly explained about some mummies using their boobs to feed their babies. Cue “WHAT MUMMIES LET THEIR BABIES SUCK THEIR BOOBS!?!?” While the old fella sat next to us packs up.

My five year old, with her head bent over her writing
“Mummy how do you spell sex?”
Me absentmindedly “SEX”
When I came to my senses I asked her what she was writing. She said it was a story about the Garden.

She had written ‘In our garden we have lots and lots of in sex’

I have another but from dh tonight lol....might be one where you had to be there but still.....

Dh is a plumber and next door ask him if he could pop round and look at their toilet as it's been leaking.

When he got back I asked him what their house is like as I've always imagined it to be immaculate. Don't know them very well but they have no dcs and the lady is very glamours and always looks lovely.

Anyway dh said the following

:yeah it's alright but she had oven gloves and a spatula in her bathroom sink.....so I said to her 'oh do you cook in the bathroom a lot?' as a joke.....then she did a weird sort of laugh and walked away'....

Anyway neighbours have just gone out for the night all glammed up and then it dawned on me....

'Was it these?' I ask him holding up what I think he's got confused at....and he nods

'Yes that's a tanning mitt and applicator.....not oven gloves and a spatula'

God knows what our neighbour that he was on about....cooking in the bathroom!!

"If I grew in your tummy why don't you have a big scar where the doctor cut me out?"

He was only about 5/6 at the time

Why is life so short? Asked dd, aged 7.

Just RFTT.

I'm still giggling over the poor bloke who went to lengths to explain what a penis was, to which the children said 'Oh,we thought it was someone who played the piano'.

My son getting ready for school:
'mummy i'm a bit sad'
'why's that D's
'because love doesn't work ' he then carried on playing quite happily .

My SS asked me where his SBs came from 🤔

Several years ago when DS was 3 or 4 and DH and I were getting amorous one Saturday morning and he wanders in quiet as a mouse, stands at the side of the bed for an unknown length of time and the stoney faced asks

"can I wrestle too?"

DS5 'Mummy, in the old days, did you used to wear clothes?'

No dear, I just squatted naked under a bush, banging two rocks together.

DD was 13 when she said, “so you are telling me that Eskimo’s are real and not mythical creatures. I don’t believe you, they are like leprechauns.”
Nearly crashed
Another DD was 2 when she asked, “can I have a baby with sideburns for Christmas?”
Nearly crashed again!

No dear, I just squatted naked under a bush, banging two rocks together.

My parents dog was put to sleep and we told our 2.5 year old daughter she had gone to 'doggy heaven'.

She also asks 'where?' / 'why?'all the time.
So we had to say doggy heaven was in the stars and she was relaxing there.

When putting her to bed a couple of weeks later, she said she can't wait to go and relax in the stars
She then said she thinks mummy and daddy should come to relax there too

Last week my 5yo asked me where people come from, so I did the "when a mummy and a daddy really love each other..." explanation. "No, I know that" she says "I mean where did the FIRST people come from? If people have people babies, where did the first ever people come from?"

I never imagined I would explain evolution in the car during the five minute drive to swimming

Although I did have a warm up run the week before when she asked me why all the people, houses and trees don't fall off the earth, when it is a round ball. I didn't need that kind of stress on the school run, it has to be said

My grandma died last year, my 4 year old we have told she has gone to be in the stars with my mum and grandad - we talk about my mum a fair amount so thought this might help - killer question a few weeks ago was if she is in the stars - how did she get there!

i remember DS asking ‘is it tomorrow today?’ Erm....