To ask what questions your dcs asked which left you lost for words??

[trebless]

So 7 year old dd strutted into the long room and said the following:

'Mum you know I never ever want a boyfriend, I never want to be married and I do not want to have babies so that means I'm gonna live with you forever and ever and ever'.....

Me: 'Oh well that would be lovely sweetheart but you might cha.....'

Dd interrupting me 'but not really forever because you are going to get old and then you will be dead. I'll probably ask Lexie (her cousin) to come live with me then. I'm having your room though'

No words from me to reply. Somehow proud of her forward thinking though

I was talking last week to ds6 about measles outbreaks (he heard about the reintroduction that was all over the news that day on the way to school) and he was asking if he should be afraid as it sounded worse than the vomming bug he'd had a few weeks prior, so I explained about vaccinations and said it was highly unlikely, well away from us and not to worry etc. The convo went a little like this don't flame me I didn't start it

Ds How did they get measles if they had the same jabs I did?
Me Well, the Mum and dad hadn't got their son vaccinated so his body didn't know how to fight it off
Ds is that because they wanted him to die?
Me

My ds yesterday” what’s a dildo?”

8 yr old ds - 'mummy I've broken up with Evie.'
Me - 'oh no, why?'
DS - 'because she's a vegetarian and I can't possibly cook 2 separate meals'
Me -

@sprouts such practical thinking - vervimpressive

@sproutsandparsnips 😂 another one thinking ahead!

I was minding my niece one day when she was about 3. She was in the back of my car and we were stopped at the traffic lights. They turned green and the van in front of us didn't move.
From the back seat a little voice piped up "Oh no Auntie Steve, his batteries mustn't be working".

DS (2) watching me insert a mooncup: Mummy? What you doing Mummy?

Me: Um, well...I am... uh... Have you brushed your teeth yet?

Our house has an extension on the back with a skylight so you can see up to the window of the back room. When we first moved in, my brother (then 12) was in the kitchen and looked up to see my husband waving at him from the window above.

“Wow! How does that work???” he asked

... The same way as any other window

Oh and I remember watching Titanic when I was 9 and asking my mum what a one-legged prostitute was She said “a woman who sells her body”, which didn’t really clear things up but I didn’t ask any more questions!

pissoffpippa next question “how much did she get for the leg that she sold?” 😂

Who is God, where is he and what does he do?

My Son was 4yrs old, even our local Vicar was stumped as to how to explain it to a 4yr old. Quite a huge question for a small person!

My son earnestly asked me:

'What is Donald Trump?'

Oh an my daughter misread 'The legend of Crookhill' and wanted to know what the leg end of Crookhill was? I couldnt really explain as I was laughing to much.

Ds used to think the priest was Father Christmas. And that people starved themselves for Lent. And got very confused between bishops and spaceships and was most disappointed when the wrong one came to visit school.

DD thought a giant meatball wiped out the dinosaurs. She also wanted, for her birthday, "a real magic wand" because the one we'd got her for Christmas didn't actually work.

Friend's DS asked in a stage whisper "what's in the box?" at a quiet moment at her MIL's funeral

Dgs aged 4
“Grandma, Where were you before you died?”

My ds asked “when 2 men get married, how do they decide who will have the babies ?” 😬

My DD went through a phase at about 3 of impossible questions

Why is the sky blue?
Where does the wind come from?
What's behind the sky?

These were some of my favourites to try and answer on the school run. She wasn't one to accept 'I don't know' or 'Look - a pussy cat' I learnt she would accept, 'I don't know, but we'll look it up when we get home'. We always had to!

Paraphrasing here, but you’ll get the idea.

DD- where do babies come from?

Me-gives a reasonably detailed but age appropriate discription, and decided now was as good as any time to start to talk about periods, so threw that in too. Finished with “and if you have any questions, no matter what they are, ask me, and I’ll always answer truthfully”

DD - is Santa real?

Back in the 1970s, for homework, my son had to write about someone who had experience of World War II. Before I could suggest phoning his Granny he took out a book and said, “where did you go when you were evacuated”.

Not bad enough that one child thought I was that old, but then the other piped up, “I know, Southend “

On the train the other week:

Boy (4-ish): Mom, Miss Green told us that Daniel can't come back to school yet in case he inseminates everyone
Mother: In case he what now?
Boy: Inseminates us... with his germs

At Disneyland Paris, DD asked "are the princesses real or dressed up?"- What to answer!?

DS2, who is 10 and was at the time. We were looking at dishwasher tablets and it somehow came up in conversation that he once ate one as a toddler (🙄).

He then asked me: “Wow. Did I die?”

Did. I. Die.

He is not remotely stupid

Sitting in the car listening to the radio and DS 7 asks me why the 'man was caught red-handed?' Song playing was Shaggy's it wasn't me.
I told him that the man had been caught doing something he shouldn't have. I was expecting to be asked next what the man had been doing but a fire engine drove in the opposite direction and distracted him - phew!

Both of my sons have asked me on separate occasions if I am sad that I don't have a willy.

My niece, probably at about nine or ten, had heard somewhere about prostitution, and had been asking questions; she was told something about 'having sex for money'.

Obviously having misunderstood, and done some pondering, she came to my sister and me a while later and said "but I just don't get it. HOW do you have sex with money?"

Of course this was said without any context whatsoever and was greeted with a lot of this face before we sorted it out.