...to feel this about cousin relationships?

[AliceAforethought]

I was chatting with an acquaintance yesterday (a fellow school mum) and she mentioned that a cousin of hers was married to their own first cousin (on the other side, not related to the school mum). I may have said an apparently not too interested “Oh really?” but inside I thought “Eww!”.
The school mum laughed and said “the children seem normal... so far!”

I know it’s legal, but I can’t help but have a feeling of unease/ distaste about cousin relationships. AIBU to feel this? I read some time ago that the risks to any resultant children are not great, but then more recently that it was greater than previously thought.
The school mum clearly felt there was something a bit off about it, too!

Am fully prepared to be told IABU, but wondered if others felt like this? Sleeping with a cousin just seems to have a bit of an ick factor to me!

Off on a tangent somewhat, but I know an elderly couple who married even though the were stepbrother and sister. Their parents married when they were both age 11 and they grew up together in the same house and ended up marrying. This was back in the 50’s.

It's fine, genetically speaking, as a one off. But when cousins marry cousins who marry cousins etc, the gene pool gets very small. This is why there is a high incidence of children with development problems in Bradford (where I live) as it's so ingrained here.

There was a study in 2015 which showed that marriages between cousin's in Peterborough resulted in higher than average child deaths. However this related to a particular group from North Pakistan where cousin marriage had continued for generations and was originally related to preserving land within families, not a one off cousin marriage.
I seem to remember a documentary where the same community had a much higher proportion of children with severe disabilities than average.

Yes, Bradford was also mentioned.

There have been programmes on the BBC regarding the problems caused by multi generation cousin marriages within the Pakistani community . The rate of congenital abnormalities is very high — some families having many, sometimes all, children with severe disabilities.. Doctors and members of their own community have been threatened when they have attempted to publicise the reason and to discourage cousin marriage. Some children, of course, are perfectly fine but it’s like playing genetic Russian roulette with the losers not just being the heartbroken parents but their babies who don’t ask to be born

Do you have a link for this? IME families in the UK for which consanguineous marriages are culturally expected/encouraged are aware that there is an increased risk, and there are attempts to move away from this tradition. Approx 1% of women in UK are statistically expected to have some sort of foetal abnormality diagnosed antenatally or after birth. The risk in first cousins over generations only rises to about 3-4%, unless they are known carriers of certain genetic syndromes.

Yesterday I met a (white British) woman with 4 dc who all have ASD. Her and her partner are not in any way related, nor do they have any family history of ASD.

RainyDaysSunnyNights, that was quite normal for the 18 hundreds. Shakespeare was left without living relatives, as were many famous people, as well as a large percentage of the population.

Queenunikitty and do you think the cause of death and disability was because the second Cousins married?

There was a study in 2015 which showed that marriages between cousin's in Peterborough resulted in higher than average child deaths

I'm not aware of this study but it is very possible. It does need to be examined in context though. Certain ethnicities are more prone to carrying particular genetic diseases eg Ashkenazi Jews carry higher than average genetic mutations therefore if you did a study in their community you would likely find higher than average numbers of children with genetic issues and thereby deaths, even though the parents are not cousins.

Gene testing is available to certain ethnicities in UK where cousins want to marry (Irish travellers alone carry up to 90 known genetically transmitted diseases) and I am aware that before the marriage takes place between anyone in certain ME countries they are recommended to have blood tests to rule out life limiting or serious genetic issues.

The only cousins I know who married didn't really know each other as children and only met as adults.
I don't think it's yuck particularly. Not sure why it would be.
If you hear people talk about childhood sweethearts who marry, then it's all how lovely. What's the difference?

It worked out well for Fanny Price!

I haven't seen my first cousins since we were children - I wouldn't recognise them if we met.

I've never wanted children, and wouldn't marry someone who did, so as far as I'm concerned there'd be no reason whatsoever not to marry a cousin - no ick factor as they're strangers to me, and no issues with genetic problems if we don't have children.

In some cultures this is normal, rather than the ick factor the problem is genetic diseases being more prevalent in cousin marriage especially where it's been practiced for generations. Bradford was highlighted as having a much higher rate of children with genetic disease and cousin marriage in the Asian population was to blame.

It's not illegal to marry a cousin as it's not seen as incest.
It is however illegal to marry an aunt/uncle.
Personally I feel there's billions of people out there to choose from who are not closely genetically related to you. I'd rather give that a go.

I have two sets of first cousins who are married in my family. One in my generation, one in the older generation.
This used to be common in rural areas when people rarely moved about.
I don't see it as an issue as a one off. The issues come when there are lots of cousin or close marriages in one family.

It’s wrong. I know of a family (friends of friends) who are married 1st cousins, catholics so they keep having children. 3 out of their 6 kids have an inherited genetic condition and will die in their 20s or younger.

Well I suppose there'd be no issue with the respective sets of parents being introduced

Well I suppose there'd be no issue with the respective sets of parents being introduced

Unless they were locked in a deadly family feud!

Think it's fine so long as you don't plan on having children. I thought it was illegal with first cousins?

It should be illegal to knowingly procreate with a first cousin/close family member in general without extensive genetic testing first. I can understand loving someone so much you want to be with them no matter what but I can’t understand knowingly risking producing inbred offspring. That’s cruel and disgusting.

Birds - not sure that's true with MD. I have a friend who had twins. Not a cousin marriage. The boy twin had MD. The girl twin is OK, but had genetic testing to establish she wasn't a carrier. My father's cousins were the children of sisters. Their child was a girl and had a form of MD that is more common in girls than boys. My friend was asked to take part in research involving embryo screening and IVF, but declined.

I was at uni with a chap whose parents were first cousins. He was an only child and his parents were also both only children so he only had his two parents plus two grandmothers (who were sisters). No other immediate family at all.

He was a nice guy but incredibly tetchy about his family and his parents' close biological relationship. That was the absolute one thing that no-one was allowed to make a joke about.

multi-gen 1stC marriages have measurably higher risk of genetic abnormalities in the kids (not so dissimilar from inbred communities like the Amish), but the risk rise in one-off 1stC marriages is tiny -- maybe too tiny to measure.

If we're that bothered about genetic risks than all the white ppl need to be checked for Cystic fibrosis genes to avoid marrying each other. Since 1/25 ppl have the faulty gene so that's a 4% chance for each 100 potential partners you mean. We're not really that worried, though, so guess what? Ppl are just making up a reason to object after all.

I have 1Cs who had a love affair when young. They are still close friends now (40 yrs & marriages to others, later). A friend had heart-break over not being with her 1C. I don't object to 1C marriage.

Which combinations of blood groups are dangerous?
Come on, be specific. Everyone wants to know.

One of my family members is married to his first cousin, but she was adopted so no genetic issues. Would that still be classed as icky?

I suspect people who have been brought up to see first cousins almost as brothers or sisters, will feel differently to those who have been brought up seeing their cousins far less.

It should be illegal to knowingly procreate with a first cousin/close family member in general without extensive genetic testing first. I can understand loving someone so much you want to be with them no matter what but I can’t understand knowingly risking producing inbred offspring. That’s cruel and disgusting

The problem when you don't know/understand the data is that appalling statements like the above are spouted as fact. The vast majority by far of children who die of genetic illnesses in the UK are from completely unrelated parentage. Do you think think they are cruel and disgusting too? Many people who have a child with a genetic illness go on to have more children, highly aware of the risks. Thankfully it is not up to you or me to make that decision for them.