...to feel this about cousin relationships?

[AliceAforethought]

I was chatting with an acquaintance yesterday (a fellow school mum) and she mentioned that a cousin of hers was married to their own first cousin (on the other side, not related to the school mum). I may have said an apparently not too interested “Oh really?” but inside I thought “Eww!”.
The school mum laughed and said “the children seem normal... so far!”

I know it’s legal, but I can’t help but have a feeling of unease/ distaste about cousin relationships. AIBU to feel this? I read some time ago that the risks to any resultant children are not great, but then more recently that it was greater than previously thought.
The school mum clearly felt there was something a bit off about it, too!

Am fully prepared to be told IABU, but wondered if others felt like this? Sleeping with a cousin just seems to have a bit of an ick factor to me!

A second cousin once removed will share approx 1.5% of dna with you; with a 1st cousin it’s 12.5%, a good deal more.

Two of my father's first cousins married. Huge family, so they hardly met when children. Their child had muscular dystrophy and died young. It's not the ew factor. There is a very real risk of genetic conditions being passed down.

A slight derail of the thread but apparently Prince Philip was corresponding with Elizabeth (his cousin) when she was 13 and being all romantic. He was 18..

I think that’s more eww.

But perhaps the ew factor is an instinctive reaction designed to make persons of close consanguinity repulsed at the thought of procreating together, so that such genetic conditions are less likely be passed down?

Bloody disgusting and to put your future children at risk is just absurd to me!

Here we go again .

And no I'm not married to my cousin. But I have a cousin who is. They didn't grow up together at all, he lived on the other side of the world for most of his life. They had various tests before they got involved and have a beautiful, perfect son. They're not Pakistani nor part of a multigenerational inter family marriage.

But I'm loving the ever so mature 'ewww, gross' type arguments here. Very scientific.

My best friend's parents are first cousins. Her grandfather's were brother's. No medical problems with her or her sister. The parents aren't together anymore though and that was actually more difficult for the family.

Just to add my father in law is a Indian Muslim and was discussing my ds marrying dn- DH's niece. DH and I said that absolutely wasn't being planned, then fil came back later and said that he learnt that they couldn't marry as they were the children of brothers, apparently it's fine if they are the children of sisters.

Eugenics rule

I do understand the argument that these kids could have had their disease prevented if both cousins carrying a recessive gene went and married outside the circle.

Yes these cases happen. It’s quite unfortunate.

I don’t recommend cousin marriages, I don’t think it’s “scientifically” the best. But that’s that, the reasoning stops at science. Beyond that it’s the parents decision.

Just like the woman I know who decided to marry a schetzophrenic.. the other who married muscular destrophy.. the third that decided to marry diabetes type 1.... I mean,, these people are all still marriage material !!

However the concept of a whole population marrying internally is definitely a recipe for disaster. Cousin marriages have become increasingly common these days because unlike previous generations where cousins grew up together and were more “eww” about it, distance makes people see their cousins as strangers.

We are talking about cultures where people have in excess of 100 cousins.

But then again, the queen is related to her husband from both maternal and paternal ancestors, so let’s focus on that instead of judging other cultures...

I for example , have 26 cousins from my mum and another 25 from my dads side as direct cousins. All of us are close.

As for second cousins, I have in excess of 120 on both sides.. it’s an entire community.

It’s a bit different than having that one cousin that you grew up seeing as a play date companion. For some people these are the only people they ever really mixed with as a social circle .

I don't see how the whole 'they didn't grow up together' is a justifiable excuse.

Genes and DNA don't change due to distance. It's gross because of the biological relationship.

And yes. I judge. I think it's gross.

I think it is a very dangerous game of Russian roulette! Being so closely related makes the risk of genetic conditions so much higher. My DF wasn’t aware of part of his family until he was sixteen. The resemblance is uncanny. I am severely disabled (neurological) and my cousin is currently undergoing the same tests with everything pointing towards a similar if not identical diagnosis. Autism runs in my maternal side of my family, as does diabetes, heart disease and a blood clotting disorder, would imagine that a child born from two first cousins in either side of my family could really be very poorly indeed.

dangerous? shock are you going to ban anyone who might carry genes you think undesirable to procreate....how very population cleansing of you.

Great. So I assume you’ll be outside parliament lobbying for Fathers and Brothers to be able fuck their daughters and sisters right?

We have these laws for a reason. If you actually knew anything genetics you’d know that repeated cousin marriage in a family can create children who have awful, painful and life limiting conditions.

dangerous? shock are you going to ban anyone who might carry genes you think undesirable to procreate....how very population cleansing of you.

Great. So I assume you’ll be outside parliament lobbying for Fathers and Brothers to be able fuck their daughters and sisters right?

.dangerous? shock are you going to ban anyone who might carry genes you think undesirable to procreate....how very population cleansing of you.

Great. So I assume you’ll be outside parliament lobbying for Fathers and Brothers to be able fuck their daughters and sisters right?

We have these laws for a reason. If you actually knew anything genetics you’d know, other than some people just thinking it’s a bit ick. Repeated cousin marriage in a family can create children who have awful, painful and life limiting conditions in just the same way father/daughter brother/sister genetic parents do. If you ban for them, why would you not ban multiple cousin marriages which cause the same issues just as severely. Or do you think it’s okay to have children suffer unnecessarily?

That’s me right here smile, my child is illigetimate lol. Our parents were first cousins.

What? What does illegitimacy have to do with it?

If you ban that then the queen needs to get a divorce.

Er, no. They are third cousins.

Apols for repetition, but it’s still true.

I don't see how the whole 'they didn't grow up together' is a justifiable excuse.
Genes and DNA don't change due to distance. It's gross because of the biological relationship.
And yes. I judge. I think it's gross

Exactly!

The whole ''they didn't grow up together'' spiel is ludicrous and irrelevant. DNA doesn't diminish depending due to geography.

And first cousin marriages in the second generation (so their parents or even grandparents were first cousins) should be banned outright

Sorry if I'm being thick but why is that worse than marrying your aunt/uncles child?

The whole ''they didn't grow up together'' spiel is ludicrous and irrelevant. DNA doesn't diminish depending due to geography.

The risk for single cousin marriages is low. It’s not that much different from older mothers.

It’s when cousin marriage goes through more than one generation that it’s a problem. This is why in the UK cousin marriage is legal, the risk to their offspring is well within the acceptable boundaries for risk. There’s not much reason to object to one generation of cousins married apart from personal taste. Second generations are the problem. Some info from link below:

www.popsci.com/marrying-cousins-genetics#page-3

We are talking about cultures where people have in excess of 100 cousins

I have a ton of 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins. Not just one first cousin. I know this because we spent summers together as children and have a regular once a year cousins meet-up.

None of us married each other. Science matters. There is a reason you don't marry too closely. You can ignore it if you want. But the science won't change.

The european royal families haven't really benefited from close cousin marriages so no idea why this is considered an argument.

In some cases, the related parents of sick children have declined to answer questions about consanguinity (relationships with family members) to avoid stigma.

However, when your kid is suffering from a rare genetic disorder that only occurs in a particular area and can be pinned down to particular families, it's hard not to draw a conclusion.

Interbreeding increases the chances of recessive genes associated with genetic disorders from manifesting.

The odd first cousin marriage now and again, won't be a problem, but generations of inbreeding is a recipe for disaster.

Many conditions are sex dependent, so you'll see sickly girls and no boys born to a couple who are desperate for a boy.

It's sickening and heartbreaking at the same time.....

Didn’t Adam and Eves children procreate, we are all descended from them?

It's everyone's business if the taxpayers have to support medically the results of such a union.

My friend's sister married and then divorced their cousin. It's caused a huge rift in the family as a result.

I don't really understand how first cousins who don't know each other then meet up later and get together. Surely the fact that they didn't know each other is due to some break down in the relationship between their parents (who are siblings)? As in, you've never met your brother's child but then you're all supportive of that child marrying yours?

*don't see how the whole 'they didn't grow up together' is a justifiable excuse.

Genes and DNA don't change due to distance. It's gross because of the biological relationship.

And yes. I judge. I think it's gross*

this

bold fail

Sorry if I'm being thick but why is that worse than marrying your aunt/uncles child?

There’s a bit of info in that link I just posted. Okay, this is really, really simplified and as a result is not entirely accurate but it’s a general overview. It has to do with genes. Each gene usually has two alleles, one from your mother, one from your father. These alleles will determine what your DNA ends up like. One allele from one parent will be dominant, and that will give you your characteristics, but the other one, from the other parent will be recessive, it will just lie dormant so the individual is a carrier of that gene but not affected by it. The genes which cause problems tend to be recessive ones. So having a child with someone who doesn’t share those genes gives a good chance of a healthy child with no genetic problems. Their healthy dominant gene will suppress the faulty one.

As an example: DM1 who has a faulty gene which causes an awful genetic illness marries a stranger, DF1, it’s much more likely DF1s genes will dominate and the mother’s faulty gene will be recessive and the child will be healthy.

First cousins however, have the same grandparents so they share far more genes (12.5%). So if DM1 decides to have a child with her cousin DF2, then the chances that DF2 has the same faulty gene too increase.

With first cousins, still doesn’t create a big risk.

But if you have generations and generations intermarrying, the pool genes are drawn from gets smaller and smaller and the likelihood there won’t be a healthy dominant gene to make any resulting babies healthy shrinks.