To think being slim should be normal for most people.

[DevilishDebbie]

By slim i mean sizes 8 to 12.

Obviously you get a minority who are not in this range naturally but for 80% of people this size should be natural, say they eat a reasonable diet of between 2000-3000 calories.

Im so sick of people at work making out i am abnormally thin for being a size 10. I watch what I eat but dont deprive myself. The same people making me out to be lucky to be slim eat fried chicken or pizza for lunch and seem to be able to demolish a whole pack of biscuits at 3 o clock.

Aibu to think that the normal human man/woman should be a size 8-12 and that to attain or maintain this does not require super human discipline or strength.

@Dorsetdays

Yes I agree that either said unbidden is out of order. But in general people will be more sympathetic/helpful to someone underweight wanting to gain weight than the other way around.
So more likely to offer advice and judge less with someone underweight than overweight.
And I do know that slimmer people get shamed, just maybe not as simplistically or as much as bigger people. I think that's because being slim is seen as more desirable, it's linked to being healthier (not always the case) and more socially acceptable. My sister and I have both experienced weight shaming hate the term but can't think of another right now her for being very slim and me for being bigger than average. Neither is ok though. My sister and I have similar issues around food.
My DM fat shamed me as a teen when I actually wasn't, I worked pt at a local stables and it was all muscle, and I have a different body type to her, including being quite a bit taller and broader shoulders/hips. This was seen as unacceptable and she restricted my food, for a teen doing physically demanding work that was just horrible. I was hungry often, though not starved just hungry as teens often are! Simply put she had a lower intake need than me as she did less, but didn't see it that way. My sister is a few years younger than me and saw it all, she developed not eating as a defence I guess for not getting herself into that situation.
She's underweight and always has been, but mum praises her for this so it re-enforced why she does it. She's probably as unhealthy as me in reality.
That's obviously just two people, not everyone will have the same reasons or problems. But my point is no one says to my sister to eat more and move less and stop making excuses. They have said the opposite to me.

Well, I have always had to watch my weight. I was very self disciplined when I was younger, but things have slipped a bit and I have put on weight. I have never liked junk food or snacking, but I need to eat very little to maintain my optimum weight. My daughter on the other hand eats like a horse. She can consume a packet of biscuits quite easily. She has a sedentary job and doesn't do much exercise. She is a size 8 and looks amazing. She has never counted a calorie in her life, but the time will come when she is older no doubt. If she doesn't eat regularly she gets shaky and weak and her blood sugar plummets. It's true, being slim doesn't always equate to health, her arteries are probably already clogging.
Huge portion sizes, multi buy offers, ready meals, take aways and American sized amounts of coke and popcorn at the cinema etc don't help. We eat far more fat and sugar than we used to and far more food. Snacking just wasn't a thing until relatively recently. You only have to watch Gogglebox to see families with the coffee table piled high with fatty sugary snacks, or eating in front of the TV to see how things have changed. Families don't eat round a table as often, don't talk to each other properly ,and everyone is working different hours and rushing around. Life has become a stressful rush where food is eaten without really tasting and that puts stress on the digestive system too.

@brilliantidiot. I understand what you’re saying but I don’t think that’s actually a lot of people’s experience. I would say it’s definitely seen as much more acceptable to say to someone’s face ‘it’s alright for you, you’re a skinny bitch’ or ‘you need a burger’ etc than it is to say the reverse to someone who’s overweight. I think because the ‘skinny shaming’ Is almost seen as being a backhanded compliment....when the truth is that it really isn’t!

And I also don’t think people are in any way sympathetic to those who want to gain weight, that’s usually met with a nasty sneer and ‘yeah, right, whatever’ or ‘just eat burgers then’ as they roll their eyes.

Perhaps the reason it feels like people are ‘fat shamed’ more is simply down to numbers, there are more overweight/obese people in this country than those who actually need to gain weight.

Both are wrong and I’d never do either. That doesn’t stop me agreeing that being overweight should not be the new normal and believing that we should all be playing our part in educating our DC to be fit and healthy and part of that is leading by example.

I gain weight easily and have yo-yoed my whole adult life from size 12 to 16. I've come to the conclusion that I have to reduce carbs massively and must routinely eat less than 1800 calories per day. I'm 5ft 6 and currently size 14. I don't eat excessively but I don't exercise as I really struggle to find the time in between working ft and having 2 young dc. Desperate to get back to a 12 again, but I've never in my life been less than that. I don't look fat or overweight, but it's just because it's evenly distributed (hour glass figure). I am overweight though.

I tend to agree op. Part of the problem is portion sizes and the propensity to over eat in one sitting. Part of it is assuming everyone is ok on 2000 calories, but lots of women will put on weight eating that amount.

1. A young man with learning difficulties in semi-independent living. He does not understand what makes something healthy and he has no confidence in cooking. There are seventeen, yep, seventeen fast food shops within walking distance of his flat. He would rather eat something that 'is nice' like pizza than try to cook something he might not like.

1. A lady in her mid 20s who has spent her adult life with a high BMI. She was bought up on a diet of takeaways and told to 'finish her food'. Normal food in her family's world includes chips done in a fryer, white bread sausage sandwiches etc. She spends a lot of time with her family, including meal times, it's very difficult for her to eat a different meal to them. She wants to be healthier and will only make progress once distanced from the unhealthy habits of her family - much easier said than done.

1. A lady in her 40s who has been the victim of sexual assault in her childhood and uses food as an emotional crutch. She understands the difference between healthy and unhealthy food, but when she is struggling it's incredibly hard to choose NOT to have a comforting snack. It's a psychological urge and craving that is bedded very deep.

1. Another lady in her 40s, she's never been obese but the weight has slowly crept on and she is now overweight. She works shifts as a nurse, has a family (2 DCs) and is a single mum since her husband left 3 years ago. She feels she's a hypocrite working as a nurse but can't shift her own excess weight, but has no energy or time to cook from scratch. Convenience foods are cheap and quick, and 'just this once' turns into a lifestyle habit.

Who are we to judge? To criticise? To tell ourselves as we walk by them that we, in our super skinny size 10 jeans, are so much better than them?

I hope those who think obesity is nothing but a choice between a salad and a Mars bar are never themselves on the receiving end of prejudice.

If it were as easy as going for a walk or using a tin of baked beans to weight train, the point is we wouldn't have an obesity crisis. The issues are far more complex and extending some understanding and sympathy would help those that feel completely stigmatised by your views, Dorset.

@harrysowl. You’re being deliberately disingenuous. If you’d RTFT you’d know there have been numerous people on here who have said they agree with the OP because they are overweight themselves and the reason is because they eat too much, don’t exercise etc. No excuses, they own it and they’re doing something about it.

You can make up all the examples you want of bleeding heart stories that mean people can’t lose weight. No ones disagreeing with those and many us of have said that time after time but there are just as many, if not many many more, examples where people are, you know, just overweight.

Those are the people we’re talking about in the main and trying to twist what people are saying doesn’t change the fact that we are more overweight than ever as a nation and obesity is one of the biggest killers.

For clarity, I’ll say it again, unless there’s a medical issue involved (which FYI includes MH issues or did you not know that?), there is a world of help, support and information out there to help you lose weight, exercise is free and it’s your choice what you out into your own body.

The only people who might be stigmatised by those views (otherwise known as facts) are people who would prefer to stick their heads in the sand and trot out one of the many excuses you keep coming up with.

@Dorsetdays

I guess it depends which side of it you spend the most time on, because that'll be your perspective.
I totally agree that we shouldn't be moving the goalposts so that being overweight is 'normal' and a healthy weight is seen as underweight. I am overweight, mainly because at the moment I am working a lot of nights and my body clock is totally all over the place. I've put weight on because I'm eating in a grazing like fashion rather than properly, my job is very physical but obviously I'm taking in more than I'm using still. Right now sleep is my priority, I need to not just be awake but alert and sleeping through the day is harder for obvious reasons, at 4am I sometimes need a pick me up because my body is just wanting to sleep and I'll have a milky (s-skimmed) with sugar to push me through. The caffeine and the sugar aren't good at all, and I know that but sometimes they're the only thing that stops me falling asleep against a wall stood up (did that at a bus stop once 😂) I do know the concequences of what is happening, however right now the opportunity to earn more doing overtime is of higher priority.

Perhaps the reason it feels like people are ‘fat shamed’ more is simply down to numbers, there are more overweight/obese people in this country than those who actually need to gain weight.

Yeah its totes the feels . You dont even know how damaging your attitude is do you.

Harry im damn sure that the people on here concern trolling. Because lets face it thats what it is would not refuse treatment from that nurse if they rocked up to A and E in pain.

Because they see overweight ppl as beneath them until "the wet ass hour when they are their daddy"

YY Brilliant. And im sure Dorset would agree with you prioritizing your job given the way she was speaking about the unemployed on the Skint Britain thread.

I’m usually a size 8 but my waist is still 25 inches and I still weigh just under 8 stone at 5 foot 5. I’m not skinny. I could still lose some weight from my legs to be honest.
I have to eat less than 800 calories to maintain this.

At 5 5 and just under 8 stone you are borderline underweight but you still think you could do with losing weight?

No way in hell do slim/thin people get the same amount of prejudice and hate and vitriol as fat people. No way in hell.

My whole life, (nearly half a century,) I have had periods where I have been fat, thin, and somewhere in between. (Currently fairly slim-ish,) and so I am qualified to say that fat people DO get much more hate and vitriol than thin people.

I got much more name calling, mocking, and judgemental, snide, sarcastic, rude comments when I was fat. I have never had one single negative comment as a thin/slim person. Not one! From ANYone.

Fat people have way more nasty shit to deal with than thin people. It's both laughable, and insulting, to suggest that thin/slim people suffer the same kind of vitriol and hatred and prejudices as fat people. They absolutely do not. Not even close.

Dorset, your judgements display that this is an area you have lots of opinions about but no real experience in.

For example, how kind you are to not judge 'some' overweight people, but still reserve the view that others aren't doing enough.

What I'm trying to point out is that you simply shouldn't judge people based on their weight.

We'll have to agree to disagree, though.

Earlyrising YES ive been both. And it was definately worse when i was bigger.

Some twonk over on Reddit has said that i put on here that being skinny shamed is something to be proud of I said no such thing; I said commenting on someones body is not ok either way Illiterate fucker.

@HelenaDove. Yet again, on another thread not making any sense 🙄. Genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying as your posts are so erratic.

@Brilliantidiot. Totally get it. We all have highs and lows (both in life and weight!) and sometimes it’s just not the top priority as we’re juggling other things. I think the difference is that you sound as though you’re aware of it, know what it takes to be healthy and hopefully the work/life balance will even out at some point for you.

You’re also right that the point of this thread was the OP’s surprise that she is somehow now seen as the ‘oddity’ in terms of what is considered a normal, healthy weight because somehow we’ve started normalising being overweight. I just think that’s a scary thought for the next generation.

Has anyone else got a weight watchers ad at the bottom above the comments box?
🙄🤣

@harrysowl. I never said you should judge people by their weight, in fact if you actually read my comments I’ve said the absolute opposite of that.

However, I have said that medical conditions aside, losing weight or not losing weight is a choice. It’s the choice between working out why you might be comfort eating or just carrying on, it’s the choice between reading up on what a healthy diet means or choosing not to, it’s the choice between walking to the shop when you have time or still jumping in the car.

No one else makes those choices for you. No one said it’s easy. It’s still a choice.

@brilliantidiot. Lol, no I’ve got an ‘eat Giraffe at home’ advert....not sure what that’s saying to me!

My body fat is 29%
so nearly one third of me is fat
but my BMI is 22.5
and my waist is less than half my height

this implies that some of the people defending their size are more than 50% fat by body composition ....

ive got holidays appearing on mine.

this implies that some of the people defending their size are more than 50% fat by body composition

Nope No shaming Move along nothing to see here.

@MNHQ I do hope it doesnt turn out that this thread was started by a PBP considering it has now been running for over 24 hours.

Has anyone been watching The Secret Lives of Slim People? It's been really interesting thus far because at first sight they look "naturally" very thin, appear to eat what they want and probably would be told "oh you must have a fast metabolism" your genes etc etc but actually after being monitored, so far at least, they all just appear to be eating the right amount of calories for the activity they do even if their habits look unconventional.

im dyscalculic so cant manage numbers too wel.

wait... a few comments referencing women back in the past that were 'always slimmer' nope they weren't they usually were curvy and a size 14/16 🤨

Dorset, I do see the point you're trying to make, I just think you're coming from a place of judgement rather than understanding. You're implying that those who are overweight with no medical reason are not making the right choices and it's as simple as that.

If it really was that simple, we wouldn't have an obesity crisis.

All I'm trying to get across is that the reasons we might make a 'wrong' choice are complex. Not everyone has access or the capacity to understand nutrition. Not everyone has the support to access help.

Please don't judge those less fortunate than yourself if they are unable to make better choices.