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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think dogs are not the same as human children?

316 replies

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 16:55

I've seen this both on here and IRL, and I have to say it really pisses me off. This isn't just with dogs, I've seen people compare their guinea pig to their child once, saying they couldn't choose between them if they could only save one from a fire but mostly people do this with dogs.

Most of the time when people say this it's a discussion about how they can't believe someone would rehome a dog because they can't cope, they wouldn't rehome a child would they so how is it different, yadda yadda. I don't agree with rehoming a dog without trying your absolute hardest to fix any problems first but ffs a dog is not the same as a human child! I'd hope that a parent would put the needs of their child over the needs of their dog if it came down to it..(doesn't seem so for the guinea pig couple)

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to say a dog is the same as a human child??

OP posts:

SerenDippitty · 04/03/2019 13:32

LOL agree OP, the CRINGE when people refer to themself as furmama, of a furbaby, talking to animals calling them baby and referrimg to one self as mummy 😂 just bonkers

And that impacts you how?

siestakey · 04/03/2019 14:46

@TacoLover Goady

You missed this part I wrote:
They're very similar to me and I have taken all precautions with my dog to ensure they would be suitable to be around a baby/young child if I had one in the future. I also wouldn't leave my dog alone with a child so that's looking out for the dogs and the baby's welfare.

Hopefully one day I will have a baby, if not, then I will be unfulfilled emotionally as you say.
I also didn't say they are the same to look after (I've never breastfed my dog for a start) I stated they have similar needs and burdens to them.

At least I can go out to the cinema and leave my dog happily at home. Can't do that with a baby.

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 16:12

Hopefully one day I will have a baby, if not, then I will be unfulfilled emotionally as you say.

How can you accuse me of being goady and then twist my words deliberately? I never said you would be unfulfilled emotionally. I said that the emotional side especially is different with a child than a dog, e.g. how you support a child emotionally with their problems in life is very different to how you would emotionally support your dog, whereas looking after their physical health may be more similar. I didn't say you are emotionally unfulfilled, don't put words in my mouth

It's basic logic that you don't know if two things are similar to deal with if you haven't experienced both. I have mentioned myself multiple times on this thread that I am infertile so yes I do know what the pain feels like to not have children. But it's a ridiculous thing to say that children and dogs have similar burdens if you have not experienced children and dogs.

@Calvinsmam you clearly think I have started this thread to goad infertile people, despite me mentioning multiple times that I've had two stillborns and have explained my viewpoints over this thread; I have not said that dogs cannot be part of the family, I have not said that dogs are not as good as children, I have not said that you cannot call your dog your child. I said that it pisses me off when people do not prioritise their own children's needs over their dog's needs when they need to, and saying that children's needs and dog's needs are the same is ridiculous. But if you think I have started this thread to goad infertile people despite being infertile myself then go ahead and report me to MNHQ.

OP posts:

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 16:23

The thing with the "you can't know until you've had a child" thing is that it presupposes that everyone's experience of having children is the same. And whilst the majority of humans do experience love for their children (thanks, oxytocin) not all do.You only have to look at the level of sustained cruelty, or heck just a quick look at some of the threads on here, to see that the relationship is not one of unadulterated joy.

When I said 'the emotional side' I was not referring to love. I was referring to having an raising a child and supporting them emotionally, so my point was that you can't say dog's and child's needs and burdens are similar when you haven't experienced both, especially the emotional part of raising children e.g. dealing with your child having suicidal thoughts is not similar to a dog having mental health issues. It wasn't referring to the love you have for your child.

Children are in need the world over. Why is it that people suggesting they love their dogs more (probably in a fit of hyperbole) boil your piss more than people actually harming or exploiting children.

it doesn't. Where have I said that? Does being pissed off that your neighbour screamed at their child all night mean that I don't care about children being trafficked and sexually abused?? Of course not. People are allowed to care about more than one issue.

Hmm well considering this is a particularly long thread and I have a life, I'd say on a scale of 1 to 10 about an 8.5?

don't make assumptions if you can't be arsed to read the thread then? Even if you only read my OP your assumption wasn't even what I said. I said my issue was when people don't prioritise children over animals.

OP posts:

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 16:33

I don’t think anybody on this thread has said that it’s exactly the same having a dog and a child.
Or that they have exactly the same needs.

You’re hardly going to find many people who treat their dogs the same as their kids, you don’t get many people trying to enrol them in school for example.

But we HAVE had people saying that people who love their dogs like children are unhinged, that it’s pathetic to call your dog baby, and that we have to say we think random children’s lives mater more than our pets otherwise we are psychopaths (even though the scenarios would never ever happen).

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 16:39

But we HAVE had people saying that people who love their dogs like children are unhinged, that it’s pathetic to call your dog baby, and that we have to say we think random children’s lives mater more than our pets otherwise we are psychopaths (even though the scenarios would never ever happen).

Why are you blaming me for this when I have said none of these things? You are claiming that because I have been on here a while I should know that there have apparently been threads like this before and so I shouldn't have started it. Well guess what? I haven't. I haven't seen any posts about this before. So you can stop calling me goady.

I don’t think anybody on this thread has said that it’s exactly the same having a dog and a child.Or that they have exactly the same needs.

The poster I replied to said that dogs and children have similar needs and burdens. I disagreed with that and said why. Obviously they didn't say the words 'the same' but they said similar needs and burdens, which I replied to.

OP posts:

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 16:45

But they didn’t say the same, they said similar. So why are you getting annoyed that people are saying the same?

Children and dogs do have similar needs and burdens. They aren’t the same, but it would be difficult to argue they aren’t similar.

Well guess what? I haven't. I haven't seen any posts about this before.

Well that’s a shock as they literally happen every other day.
It would be like saying you’ve never seen a trans thread or a thread about Meghan merkle, or a parking thread.

But fair enough if you haven’t.

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 16:54

But they didn’t say the same, they said similar. So why are you getting annoyed that people are saying the same?
I said I was annoyed at people saying they were the same; not about a specific poster but people I know IRL. That's why I started the thread!

Children and dogs do have similar needs and burdens. They aren’t the same, but it would be difficult to argue they aren’t similar.

I disagree with that, which is why I said they aren't similar especially on the emotional side of raising children; for example helping a child cope with suicidal ideation is very different to helping a dog suffering from mental health issues. Physically I would be inclined to think they are somewhat similar. But emotionally, no.

OP posts:

dragonsfire · 04/03/2019 17:21

m.youtube.com/watch?v=NlokeOjMm_8 😂

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 04/03/2019 17:26

You can think dogs and children are exactly the same in how you look after them but you can't possibly know that until you have a child yourself, especially the emotional side.

Been waiting for this. Took longer than I expected.

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 17:30

Been waiting for this. Took longer than I expected.

sigh please read the rest of the thread. Won't take you more than five minutes.

OP posts:

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 04/03/2019 17:44

@TacoLover I have read the full thread. In fact I commented a couple of times on it as well.

I still think that you are being goady by starting it, knowing, as you well do, that these types of thread bring out the dog haters and the people who make crappy insensitive comments to infertile people. Like me and like you.

Being infertile doesn't mean we all have to love animals. However, some of us are infertile and love our animals because they enrich our lives in so many ways. I love and protect my boys (yes, they are my boys - they are all male dogs and so known collectively as the boys). Sometimes I add my dad in there as well. I brought them up - trained them so they fit into society, feed them and give them shelter. So yeah, I parent them. I am, however, nit stupid enough to mistake them for children. But the love I have for them is stronger than the love I have for almost any human and I will not apologise for that to anyone, or indulge in silly conversations about who I would save from a burning building.

In my experience many parents have bought animals to fill the child shaped void in their lives when their children have left home. Do they get judged? No. Should they get judged? No. I'm sure that they too are well aware that the animals are not children too.

Finally. Yes it is entirely possible to be kept up all night by a dog snoring or by a puppy. The mistake that the poor woman mentioned made was forgetting that parents have the monopoly on tiredness and the rest of us don't know tiredness blah blah blah. Which is all crap.

I hope this thread comes to a close soon. It is full of anger and resentment.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 04/03/2019 17:54

Well, of course they are, but you're heading for an early grave if you get this wound up over comments that are obviously hyperbolic and generally said in jest about hypothetical situations. Personally, I tend to focus my energies on real life problems rather than made up ones.

Parly · 04/03/2019 17:59

I have children. I have dogs.

I like my own children. I like my own dogs.
I don't often like other people's children. I don't like most people's dogs.

When people start talking about children and dogs...nuclear war breaks out and every fucker gets offended.

Meanwhile I'm still here wondering if I'd save a child or guinea pig..

SardineQueenII · 04/03/2019 18:24

Well you're in good company on this thread!

Be interested to hear which way you decide to go.

Original poster

TacoLover · 04/03/2019 18:27

Leigh I haven't disagreed with anything you said in your post on this thread so I'm not sure what your point is, and no, as I have said earlier I didn't know that this thread has been done before or that it would bring out the people that it has

OP posts:

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