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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dogs are not the same as human children?

316 replies

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 16:55

I've seen this both on here and IRL, and I have to say it really pisses me off. This isn't just with dogs, I've seen people compare their guinea pig to their child once, saying they couldn't choose between them if they could only save one from a fireHmm but mostly people do this with dogs.

Most of the time when people say this it's a discussion about how they can't believe someone would rehome a dog because they can't cope, they wouldn't rehome a child would they so how is it different, yadda yadda. I don't agree with rehoming a dog without trying your absolute hardest to fix any problems first but ffs a dog is not the same as a human child! I'd hope that a parent would put the needs of their child over the needs of their dog if it came down to it..(doesn't seem so for the guinea pig coupleConfused)

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to say a dog is the same as a human child??

OP posts:
WarpedGalaxy · 03/03/2019 17:14

Here’s the thing OP, you don’t have to like it, agree with it or implement it as policy in your household if that helps put your mind at rest. In the meantime, if some people you know would rather rehome their children than their dog or guinea pig or stick insect, then maybe they have particularly obnoxious children and a particularly nice dog or guinea pig or stick insect so it’s a nobrainer which they’d rather keep?

ataleoftwothenthreethenfour · 03/03/2019 17:15

I genuinely don't understand the why people get so righteously indignant about this.
I think if you know anybody who has ever needed to rehome a pet having put it out on social media, they do get a lot of flak. So it's indignation about the indignation!

RustyBear · 03/03/2019 17:15

@BrutusMcDogface - are you on an iPad? If you are, it's assuming you want one long dash instead of two short ones and autocorrecting it.Try going to Settings- General- Keyboard and turning off Smart Punctuation (though I'm not sure what other autocorrects you would lose which you might find useful)

Original poster
TacoLover · 03/03/2019 17:15

In the meantime, if some people you know would rather rehome their children than their dog or guinea pig or stick insect, then maybe they have particularly obnoxious children and a particularly nice dog or guinea pig or stick insect so it’s a nobrainer which they’d rather keep?

Grin
OP posts:
Amanduh · 03/03/2019 17:15

Having a dog is NOT THE SAME AS HAVIG A CHILD.
When discussing ds development I was told of the dogs formative years as ‘more important’ and ‘the teething is harder’ than a child.
No it isn’t.
It is a dog.
Go away

Amanduh · 03/03/2019 17:16

*having obviously

Eatmycheese · 03/03/2019 17:16

I don’t think there is a single person who will come on this thread and say an animal is more “important” than a human. But their own animals might be more important to them than another human for whatever reason. So what? Or so so what if a dog owner loves their pet so much they are part of their fall in a precious way.

My issue with your post is that it makes not ONE jot of difference to another individual’s - in this case your - life if somebody looks upon their dog like another child or their baby for whatever reason.
OP you have taken the time to write a post which makes you look judgemental and mean spirited. Actually you are lacking in empathy or respect for what is just an entirely harmless declaration of love and care for a creature by a fellow human being. And for that YABU

TheoriginalLEM · 03/03/2019 17:17

As a vet nurse i see a wide spectrum of attitudes towards animals. From people spending in excess of 1000 on rabbits and rats to calling time on a dog because they dont want to spend money.

The relationship people have with animals is complex. The love you give to and receive from an animal is unconditional and people form deep attachments.

Not everyone has children or their children have left home. A pet fulfills people's needs to nurture and protect and i see this daily. It is never "only a dog".

I have had the privilege of helping many pets over the rainbow bridge and it is different for everyone. Grown men sobbing like babies. Little old ladies with a stiff upper lip that hides their heartbreak when you gently take thier only companion from their arms.

For some people these animals are their family.

Yes i think Hmm £1000's on a rabbit or ratty who is coming to the end of their lifespan, you could buy 200 rabbits with that but then i look to the relationship. People feel guilt if they don't try everything and responsibility but often there us a true bond and it isnt my (or anyone elses) place to trivialise it.

I didn't cry at my fathers funeral but was beyond consolation when my dog eas euthanized. Its almost like one can cope with the greif for an animal but for a loved human one cannot let that out.

Its never just a dog.

JaneEyre07 · 03/03/2019 17:17

I feel really sad for people who don't have dogs in their lives. Mine give me unconditional love and loyalty, are better company than most people I know and I wouldn't be without them.

If you don't like dogs, don't have one!

Streamingbannersofdawn · 03/03/2019 17:19

You are totally right OP. Dogs are not the same as human children...

My dog is totally laid back, always ready to go when I am, doesn't whinge if the Wi-Fi drops out, curls up with me if I'm reading, doesn't interrupt, is gentle and keeps his distance when I've hurt my back. He has never said he hates me because I didn't buy him a gravy bone and he never has friendship issues (ignores all other dogs).

He was also easier to toilet train and was top of his training class.

I love my children to distraction, I love my husband, my Mum, my siblings and my friends. I love my dog and I even love my chickens. The English language is very restricted...we have one word for love when actually my "love" for all these is different.

What annoys me is when people try to dictate how I should feel and why.

To throw a spanner in the works I definitely prefer my dog to a lot (but not all) of people...actually I prefer my chickens to a lot of people...(more than I care to admit here)

Historydweeb · 03/03/2019 17:19

I don't want any more kids but I'd get another dog tomorrow 😂😂

Original poster
TacoLover · 03/03/2019 17:19

My issue with your post is that it makes not ONE jot of difference to another individual’s - in this case your - life if somebody looks upon their dog like another child or their baby for whatever reason. OP you have taken the time to write a post which makes you look judgemental and mean spirited. Actually you are lacking in empathy or respect for what is just an entirely harmless declaration of love and care for a creature by a fellow human being. And for that YABU

I would suggest you read my OP again and subsequent posts...as I never said my issue is that people say it is their baby. I said my issue is that people say dogs are exactly the same as babies and even sometimes refuse to prioritise their child over the dog when they are in need.

If you read my subsequent posts then you would see that prioritising a dog over a child is not harmless.

OP posts:
berrybubbles · 03/03/2019 17:19

I agree with you OP! Sick of my neighbours complaining about noise from my toddler when they have the biggest loudest dog I’ve ever known. Hypocritical much! My DM has prioritised her dog over my DD (her only grandchild) and I’ve gone NC with her. The dog injured my DD and she didn’t even apologise because dog can never do wrong. Except DM neglects dog and pretends to have a loving pup to her friends/colleagues

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 03/03/2019 17:21

My guinea pig is more important to me than the children of randoms on the internet will ever be.

To think dogs are not the same as human children?
Original poster
TacoLover · 03/03/2019 17:22

Has anyone even read my OP or the rest of the thread??

I have never said that people can't love dogs, that dogs can't be part of their family, that dogs aren't important, or that you can't love a dog more than someone else. I said that I am tired of people saying a dog and a child are the same and that a child can't be prioritised over a dog!

OP posts:
Original poster
TacoLover · 03/03/2019 17:24

My guinea pig is more important to me than the children of randoms on the internet will ever be.

My posts have been about prioritising your dog over your own children. I can completely understand loving something that's been part of your family more than some random kid, that's not what my post was aboutGrin

OP posts:
Eatmycheese · 03/03/2019 17:26

You have irritated me not because I disagree with you: as a parent and a dog owner I do not believe my dog is as “important”
My issue with yours that you consider it acceptable to start a sneery, mean spirited and impliedly consdenscing thread about why some “silly folk” would think and behave otherwise. In the scheme of things it’s neither your pack to do this or that important. And for those reasons I took issue with you.

user1486915549 · 03/03/2019 17:26

I would love MY dog more than I would love your child ( because I’ve never met them)
Why would that bother you ?

ataleoftwothenthreethenfour · 03/03/2019 17:27

Give up, OP, your post was clear, but it just makes people so defensive and OTT, stops some reading properly.

Streamingbannersofdawn · 03/03/2019 17:27

TheoriginalLEM

My friend always said that..."They are never just a dog "...she was one of the kindest most empathetic people I have ever known...she loved people so much...she loved animals as well.

I wept my heart out when I had to have a chicken euthanized, I apologised to the vet and I'll never forget her saying, "I've had people in here in pieces over a pet mouse, of course your upset, she was yours".

Actually welling up now.

Octopus37 · 03/03/2019 17:28

YANBU, they are far nicer than human children or at least my dog is

SilverySurfer · 03/03/2019 17:29

This is obviously about a recent thread and you're not being entirely truthful. People said they would save their child over their dog but if the choice was between a unknown child or their dog then they would save their dog. I couldn't have children and my old cat meant everything to me. I would have chosen him over any random child or adult.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/03/2019 17:29

Taco - i have read the thread and do think people are being knee jerky.

However i don't think i have ever experienced, either professionally or personally, folk prioritising dogs over children.

I think people who keep unsuitable dogs with young children just don't see the dangers.

I cringe at facebook posts where bsbies and toddlers are allowed to crawl all over dogs etc. Its a time bomb.

I do think we anthropomorphise animals and expect them to be humanlike. This is bad for them and does not fulfill their needs.

tabulahrasa · 03/03/2019 17:29

“had one couple refuse to keep their dog separate to their baby because the dog "liked that room" and "we would never prioritise a child over our baby(dog), they are the same to us" “

That’s just someone being weird though... it’s ridiculously easy to seperate a dog from an infant without banning a dog from a room...

Dogs are dogs and aren’t the same as children, but the relationship you have with them isn’t completely dissimilar to the relationship you have with human family members.

HarrySnotter · 03/03/2019 17:31

Goady. As. Fuck.

And you know it.