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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think dogs are not the same as human children?

316 replies

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 16:55

I've seen this both on here and IRL, and I have to say it really pisses me off. This isn't just with dogs, I've seen people compare their guinea pig to their child once, saying they couldn't choose between them if they could only save one from a fireHmm but mostly people do this with dogs.

Most of the time when people say this it's a discussion about how they can't believe someone would rehome a dog because they can't cope, they wouldn't rehome a child would they so how is it different, yadda yadda. I don't agree with rehoming a dog without trying your absolute hardest to fix any problems first but ffs a dog is not the same as a human child! I'd hope that a parent would put the needs of their child over the needs of their dog if it came down to it..(doesn't seem so for the guinea pig coupleConfused)

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to say a dog is the same as a human child??

OP posts:
Deadbudgie · 04/03/2019 10:24

Op this would be my priority in a fire. Child, other random children, then DH then my dog followed by other adults But I would be devastated if any of them didn’t make it!

My dog is my family very much and I love her more than words can say but as an adult I feel a responsibility to look after the young of my species first.

Belenus · 04/03/2019 10:32

You can think dogs and children are exactly the same in how you look after them but you can't possibly know that until you have a child yourself, especially the emotional side.

The thing with the "you can't know until you've had a child" thing is that it presupposes that everyone's experience of having children is the same. And whilst the majority of humans do experience love for their children (thanks, oxytocin) not all do. You only have to look at the level of sustained cruelty, or heck just a quick look at some of the threads on here, to see that the relationship is not one of unadulterated joy.

I do refer to myself as the "mother" of the animals I look after. I didn't for a while but then I read some of John Bradshaw's work on the domestic dog. He points out that actually you do have something like a parent-child relationship because of what you provide for your dog in terms of food, warmth, shelter and protection. I still view dogs as dogs, and my horses as horses, because it's better for their welfare if I do this. A dog is not the same as a human child, obviously. But there are some parallels. We won't all experience these various relationships in the same way as each other. And as weird as it may sound, I've been more distressed by losing animals I'm close to than some humans of my acquaintance. It can be a very strong bond, it's just a different one.

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 10:42

And taco going back to whether you’re being goady or not, of course you are. You didn’t need to say anything nasty yourself because if you’ve been on mumsnet for ages as you say you have, then you’d know exactly how these threads go.
It would be like posting ‘Aibu to think men aren’t women’ or, ‘Aibu to get irritated by vegans’ then acting surprised when it turns into a bun fight, you know how the threads going to go before you even post it.

SherlockSays · 04/03/2019 11:09

As I said @Mamaisamermaid I find that attitude disgusting. Nothing in your post made me question that. We have to make time for babies, so we do the same for the dogs of the family.

I find it awful that humans think they're above any other animal on this planet, so bloody ignorant.

I write this after just clearing a whole garden of rubbish from a bin bag my 2 cherubs have ripped open outside. Still would save them over most humans tbh.

Prequelle · 04/03/2019 11:11

Child, other random children, then DH

Wow that's an interesting one. Is this because you think DH might be able to save himself or because you value the life of children above all else? Genuine question not trying to be snotty

Dahlietta · 04/03/2019 11:31

Well, according to Plutarch, Augustus Caesar agreed with you, OP, though was more harsh, over 2000 years ago!

"On seeing certain wealthy foreigners in Rome carrying puppies and young monkeys about in their bosoms and fondling them, Caesar asked, we are told, if the women in their country did not bear children, thus in right princely fashion rebuking those who squander on animals that proneness to love and loving affection which is ours by nature, and which is due only to our fellow-men." (translation not my own)

gamerwidow · 04/03/2019 11:35

Child, other random children, then DH
I’d do this too not because I think children are more precious than all else as such but because they are more vulnerable and less able to protect themselves than my DH.
If my mum was there too I probably would go ‘child, mum, other random children,dh’ not because I love my mum more than DH but because she couldn’t get out by herself.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 04/03/2019 11:40

I said my issue is that people say dogs are exactly the same as babies and even sometimes refuse to prioritise their child over the dog when they are in need.

Why does it matter to you though?

Children are in need the world over. Why is it that people suggesting they love their dogs more (probably in a fit of hyperbole) boil your piss more than people actually harming or exploiting children.

Perhaps your energies would be better spent helping those children actually in need now rather than concerning yourself about hypothetical situations which are almost certainly just throw-away comments.

NutElla5x · 04/03/2019 12:19

I think most people,when it came down to it would chose their kids over their pets op, but if some people do love their animals as much as their kids so what? I can understand you not understanding,but why would you be so pissed off about it? How does it affect you exactly? Maybe I'm insane but I can only see the fact that someone adores their dog/cat/goldfish and treats them as one of the family as a positive.

Original poster
TacoLover · 04/03/2019 12:28

@Calvinsmam you're trying to make out like I am goading infertile people or something because I said you can't know that dogs and children are the same if you havent had children. I've mentioned already upthread that I've had two stillborns so maybe read the thread again and give your head a wobble.

OP posts:
Original poster
TacoLover · 04/03/2019 12:29

some people do love their animals as much as their kids so what? I can understand you not understanding,but why would you be so pissed off about it?

I have not said that. Ffs how hard is it for some people to RTFT.

OP posts:
Nothinglefttochoose · 04/03/2019 12:32

Get a life OP! Seriously is that all you have to worry about?

Meandmetoo · 04/03/2019 12:34

I'm sure the feelings can be the same to someone childless v a parent so id never rubbish that at all, but obviously my DC would come before my dog, but my dog would come before someone I don't know (no, I don't know how I'd react if my dog and a stranger were in danger and I had to pick who to save, I genuinely don't)

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 12:40

taco

It’s you who needs to give their head a wobble if you can’t see how statements like this

but you can't possibly know that until you have a child yourself, especially the emotional side.

Are goady to people who don’t have children.

dragonsfire · 04/03/2019 12:46

👆

Tbh I did find that statement patronising as someone with no kids.

I love my dog but I know I would rescue my god kids before him!

NutElla5x · 04/03/2019 12:47

I have not said that. Ffs how hard is it for some people to RTFT.

Hmm well considering this is a particularly long thread and I have a life, I'd say on a scale of 1 to 10 about an 8.5?

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 12:56

I really don’t understand why we have to make this weird hiarchey of who we would rescue first and relate that to how much we love something.

I would rescue my grandma before my dh, doesn’t mean I love them more.

It’s such a strange and meaningless way to measure love.

dragonsfire · 04/03/2019 13:04

That’s very true!

Just meant priority I 100% love my dog as much as a human.

IF I do get to have a kid I would not regime him - I would work hard to make it work.

Only reason gave that example is that’s what was in the first question.

I don’t see why it bothers people- 🤷‍♀️

dragonsfire · 04/03/2019 13:04

Rehome the dog not the kid 😂

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 13:20

I actually think more people should consider whether they want kids when they get a dog.
If they don’t think they can cope with both they shouldn’t get a dog in the first place.

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 13:22

That wasn’t directed at you btw dragon you’ve obviously considered it.

teyem · 04/03/2019 13:24

I just skipped from the op to the end to see if this became another 'who would you save in a fire?' debate. Brilliant, nice to not be disappointed. Grin

My heart jumps to my mouth when I read the active convos and there's 'My boy got run over' and can't lie that I have a sigh of relief when it's clear it's just a dog.

So I suppose that clears up where I am on this one.

hazandduck · 04/03/2019 13:25

I will never forget my sister (who is dog mad) suggesting I get a dog after I miscarried. I wanted to punch her. When I did have a baby, and one day I said how tired I was after being up all night she said “oh I know DDog was up all night snoring!” She actually compared having a newborn and the exhaustion of it to having a bloody dog snoring at the foot of the bed.

I don’t agree with your original post though, OP. My beloved cat is my first child :) DD is just my less hairy child.

tabulahrasa · 04/03/2019 13:28

“I actually think more people should consider whether they want kids when they get a dog.”

The thing is, the dog is a choice... people don’t often end up with unplanned dogs.

It’s not really rocket science to think ahead a bit if you’re of an age to be having children whether you’d still be in a position to care for a dog if you did end up having one, even if at that point you’re not planning to.

You know when you get a dog that you’re looking at at least a decade long commitment.

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 13:31

It’s not really rocket science to think ahead a bit if you’re of an age to be having children whether you’d still be in a position to care for a dog if you did end up having one, even if at that point you’re not planning to.

Totally agree.