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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dogs are not the same as human children?

316 replies

TacoLover · 03/03/2019 16:55

I've seen this both on here and IRL, and I have to say it really pisses me off. This isn't just with dogs, I've seen people compare their guinea pig to their child once, saying they couldn't choose between them if they could only save one from a fireHmm but mostly people do this with dogs.

Most of the time when people say this it's a discussion about how they can't believe someone would rehome a dog because they can't cope, they wouldn't rehome a child would they so how is it different, yadda yadda. I don't agree with rehoming a dog without trying your absolute hardest to fix any problems first but ffs a dog is not the same as a human child! I'd hope that a parent would put the needs of their child over the needs of their dog if it came down to it..(doesn't seem so for the guinea pig coupleConfused)

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to say a dog is the same as a human child??

OP posts:
squeekums · 03/03/2019 22:28

Well put it this way op

Id never have another child
I would get more pets

And some days dd behavior means i hide out with the pets

Froggyface · 03/03/2019 22:30

SardineQueenII why would anyone take on the lifelong responsibility for a dog and rehome when a baby comes along?
We had to take a cat in when some flakes decided it was too much work. Gumtree is full of pets being disposed of because of allergies (yeah yeah) and not enough time.

BlueSlipperSocks · 04/03/2019 00:20

Blueslipper so your approach is each to their own in emergencies?

Yes.. Pretty much. Children should be able to rely on their parents to keep them safe. If I were involved in a fire I would, without doubt, make sure my grandchildren and children were in front of me on the way out. My dog would probably be in my arms, so he is safe and not running around in distress, causing a problem for everyone else. He will also be relying on me to keep him safe. Should I put him down and send him to certain death to save a random child whose parents are there for them? You might think so. I don't... There we go.

Your child is important to you. He/she is not important to me. My family (and that includes my dog) are important to me. Deal with it!

Mamaisamermaid · 04/03/2019 00:35

@tabulahrasa

Why tell someone not to have a child because they have a dog?
People change their thoughts on things everyday.
If someone wants to have a child, they can, even if it means getting rid of the dog. Dogs are not as important as humans, no matter the age.
It's a valid reason to have a child and get rid of said dog.

tabulahrasa · 04/03/2019 01:04

“Why tell someone not to have a child because they have a dog?”

Because if they’re actually unable to cope with a dog and a baby, with no other added circumstances, realistically they’re not in a position to be raising children.

It’s not that hard or expensive to have both, literally millions of people manage it, so no, it’s not a sign of intelligence, it’s a sign of a lack of planning ability or of poor coping skills.

siestakey · 04/03/2019 01:10

My dog is as important as my child to me. (I don't have a child yet but can assume this would be my thinking!)

A dog is a huge responsibility, just as big as a child is, they're both a financial burden, prone to sickness, have important needs daily, need cleaning/grooming, you look after them from a young age, both have emotions & emotional needs etc.

They're very similar to me and I have taken all precautions with my dog to ensure they would be suitable to be around a baby/young child if I had one in the future. I also wouldn't leave my dog alone with a child so that's looking out for the dogs and the baby's welfare.

Tinkerbell456 · 04/03/2019 01:34

Hmmm. I don’t have kids and so I guess her doggishness does fill a “gap” if you like. I certainly don’t think of her as human though. I can’t vouch for her opinion on that😁! I do love her, and indeed prefer her to many humans, but she is definitely a dog!

Mamaisamermaid · 04/03/2019 01:44

There are plenty of people with kids and no dog and find life hard enough.

It would be cruel on yourself and your child to manage both a dog and a kid as they wouldn't get enough attention - would they? Not to mention your energy levels would surely be drained, and your bank account? They both require constant daily care and attention.

I have two kids, a husband, and a dog, it's hard to manage them all on top of the laundry and the cooking and the planning and the financial aspect and time consuming aspect of everything.

Mamaisamermaid · 04/03/2019 01:48

By the way, if you add a dog into the mix you're just adding more responsibility to yourself. You won't be able to provide your child with as many things or as much time as you used to. Dogs are financial burdens and time consuming. The chances of you being able to keep your house clean is slim, and it's important to keep houses clean when you have children to sustain their health

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 04/03/2019 01:50

"Human babies should take priority over dogs, as (most) humans grow into much more intelligent beings than dogs will ever, therefore making such a decision to rehome the dog worth it. "

Wow.

tympanic · 04/03/2019 01:58

When my late partner died of cancer in his 30s after years of pain and stress someone told me at his funeral they knew exactly what I was going through because their parents’ dog had died a few years earlier.

Waiting4mumhood · 04/03/2019 02:12

As an "uberbarren" I take offence to the implication of many pp that infertile couples become besotted with their pet dog and treat them like their baby because "everyone needs something small and cute to cuddle and care for".Hmm

We have a cat for that Grin

Original poster
TacoLover · 04/03/2019 07:30

They're very similar to me

You can think dogs and children are exactly the same in how you look after them but you can't possibly know that until you have a child yourself, especially the emotional side.

OP posts:
SardineQueenII · 04/03/2019 08:10

'Your child is important to you. He/she is not important to me.'

You see I just don't get this.

When I see the news about disasters and people including children having a bad time, or say a story where the NHS has failed and babies have died needlessly, or situations like Rotherham, I do care. They aren't my kids but I care.

Fires as the example, grenfell tower was horrifying, avoidable. All those people. Not my children.. Not my relatives.

I understand the concept of you and yours first, no one else matters. Without people who do care though, about others, our society would be ruined.

We are social animals and when we are happy to turn away to the suffering of others its kind of worrying as to where we go next.

I suppose its due to over population needing to fight for resources... But most people in the UK aren't in those type of site straits.

Well it's been an interesting read.

SardineQueenII · 04/03/2019 08:12

Tympanic I'm sorry for your loss.

That was a crass thing for them to say.

I'm not sure this is the right thread for it though there are some strong views I hope no one has a go.

Paddington68 · 04/03/2019 08:17

Have you thought of presenting a natural history programme?

tabulahrasa · 04/03/2019 08:43

@tympanic that’s just shitty. Like I said earlier my dog died in December, I’m still upset and grieving... it is in no way comparable to losing a partner.

“When I see the news about disasters and people including children having a bad time, or say a story where the NHS has failed and babies have died needlessly, or situations like Rotherham, I do care. They aren't my kids but I care.”

Well I care, but it’s in a detached way, it’s not the same as when it’s someone close to you...

I spend more time with my pets than my family members, pets don’t have jobs or friends - they’re there all the time.

So while I’m very sure losing a pet doesn’t compare in anyway to losing a partner or a child...

I definitely care more about my pets than someone I don’t know.

longwayoff · 04/03/2019 08:53

Last week. Grandchild "Mum, you treat these dogs like children". Mum "I do. Better than treating my children like dogs though isn't it?" Smile

Figmentofmyimagination · 04/03/2019 08:59

The troubling thing about threads like this is that it’s all about power in the end. This whole thread is predicated on the assumption that humans are inherently superior to dogs. What they are (at least for now) are infinitely more powerful because they can plan.

Yuval Harari writes about how the new stage - probably within our grandchildren's lifetime - will be the splitting off of some humans, so that become superior to other humans - through elective medical enhancement by the wealthiest, including genetic enhancement.

If he is right, there will then be a battle vis who should be prioritised/discarded when it comes to resource allocation - the enhanced or the unenhanced child.

Calvinsmam · 04/03/2019 09:13

You can think dogs and children are exactly the same in how you look after them but you can't possibly know that until you have a child yourself, especially the emotional side.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand

There we have it.

You can’t know until you’ve had children.

MonstranceClock · 04/03/2019 09:16

Some real psychopaths on this thread.

Needadvices · 04/03/2019 09:22

LOL agree OP, the CRINGE when people refer to themself as furmama, of a furbaby, talking to animals calling them baby and referrimg to one self as mummy 😂 just bonkers

SleepingStandingUp · 04/03/2019 09:23

Mamaisamermaid
It would be cruel on yourself and your child to manage both a dog and a kid as they wouldn't get enough attention
I have two kids, a husband, and a dog

Eh? So it's cruel to do it but you did it anyway??

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 04/03/2019 09:29

A couple of days after my 2 year old nephew died (suddenly and in very traumatic circumstances) a colleague lost her beloved Dog. She told me she "understood how I must be feeling" and later raised a grievance against our Manager because I was given two days paid compassionate leave and she wasn't.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/03/2019 09:38

Minister I'm so very sorry for you loss, and you idiot colleague