WIBU?- Roadside shrines

[Arnoldthecat]

This is more of a ..would i be unreasonable....to not want a roadside shrine directly outside my house/garden gate/in close proximity..?

If I saw a ped on a busy dual carriageway without a pavement I'd be extra alert for them doing something daft like stepping back into the road. In fact, several times over the years I've managed to not have to dangerously swerve out of the way or have a near miss by preempting Peds doing stupid things, and other hazards, such as cyclists without lights. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Be on the lookout for hazards on the road and consider what might happen and adjust your driving accordingly? Or did I just have a very over the top driving instructor?

You've written this like the cyclist deliberately threw themselves under the car

Apologies if that is how you inferred my post, it wasn't my intention. I was just trying to highlight that the cyclist hadn't taken simple steps, which may have helped to avoid the accident. Although I concede it is impossible to know if lights and a helmet would have led to a different outcome.

There is no excuse for hitting and killing another road user.

I never said there was.

There is one I pass. The driver had been high on drink and drugs in an unroadworthy car and going over 100 mph when he killed himself. I can't understand why anyone would want to commemorate such monumental stupidity with a display of tat.
As for the origins - is it from Diana's death? I can't really recall seeing it before that
It is the issue of publicly displayed grief I find unsettling. I know we all grieve in our own way, but it is the 'signposting' of it. Anybody who doesn't know me doesn't give a fig for friends or family I have lost (beyond perhaps thinking oh dear, how sad and moving on) and why should they? Might sound a bit callous, but that's the way life is.
And talking about death and tat, how many people have seen the abomination that is St Nectans Glen near Tintagel? A beautiful place totally spoilt by sentimental displays of non biodegradable mementos.

OP, do you mean that someone has set up a roadside shrine next to your house? That sounds bloody awful. If you can, contact the council and ask them to get rid of it - however, this may not be quick. Partly because councils have quite a lot to do and partly because they don't want to upset grieving families.

There was one near me for well over a year and it was a total eyesore. It was on the railings of a square with a playground in it, it was covered in cellophane, teddies, rusty scooters. Over the summer, people would come to it and play music loudly and drink cans of lager. People stopped taking their children to the playground and it drove the other residents crackers.

The council repeatedly asked the family to take it down and they refused. In the end the council said that they were redeveloping the playground so if it wasn't taken down by [DATE], the workmen would take it down.

What an absolutely ridiculous comparison RandomleyChosenName.

CountessVonBoobs there is a ghost bike in my town. I am not victim blaming but it was entirely the cyclists fault. He was on his bike, no lights, pissed as a fart and cycled through the busiest junction in the town when the lights were red and got hit by a car and sadly died. It was around midnight and he was wearing dark clothing

The car driver was completely exonerated, witnesses said there was nothing she could do, he just cycled out infront of her.

His Facebook eulogy was full of tales of him cycling home late at night pissed as a lord.

No other cyclist has died at that junction, so I don’t see the need for a ghost bike to remind the poor driver.

There's one on a tow path near where I live. A small plaque on a tree and a few flowers/ornaments below. All it does though is make people think the deceased committed suicide by jumping into the canal when they actually just liked the canal and didn't actually did there.

I find these very odd always have done. If someone dies in hospital or at home do we pile flowers and tat at the door? I think it's another advent of social media, having to be seen to do it, why would you want to revisit the scene of your loved ones tragic death? It's absurd.

What nasty, sneering attitudes - and victim blaming- are coming through on this thread.

Environmental issues aside, I can't see why it is anyone's business or concern.

Weeell.....
Why are they "nasty, sneering attitudes"? Do you mean that people who don't like these things think that those who leave them are common? I don't think that's the point.
A lot of very reasonable points have been made against them and you yourself note the environmental problems.
And victim blaming? Where in this thread? Also, is everyone who dies in a RTA a victim? The example I quoted of the people who couldn't rebuild their wall for a year had it destroyed by a drunk and drugged young man who was off - at 3am - to buy more drugs. He was also a well-known petty burglar. His family described him as "a loveable rogue". No doubt to them he was and, I know, everyone's death diminishes us, as the poet had it.
But I don't think he was a victim.
I also wouldn't have dared mess with that family by moving the detritus that was left.

I absolutely hate this. Obviously people can mourn how they wish but not on the public highway. They can have a shrine in their own houses, gardens etc. There is a reason the councils restrict signs, messages etc: because it IS distracting to drivers. I'm afraid I would move people's mouldy flowers/teddy bears/football shirts etc. outside my front door. It really should be banned. And I don't believe people would really like it if it was on their front wall.

Unless it was referable to a recent event, I’d take it down and throw it away under cover of darkness. People don’t get to clutter up the streets with random shit just because a loved one died there, sad though that is.

Remember the traveller that was killed burgling the old man’s house last year and his family kept putting up a shrine outside? Disgraceful behaviour

I wouldn't want one outside my house but I wouldn't be asking for it to be moved unless it was very inappropriately done. If it was then I'd talk to the family if I could and offer to pay for some bulbs of their choice to be planted on the grass verge outside our house which could be a permanent fixture and perhaps a photo on a small wooden board or something similar if that was what they wanted.

Still haven't worked out the system here.
The first four lines are a quote from Piggywaspushed
And nobody else was involved in the accident I mentioned.

Agree with @YouBumder, I'd give it 2 weeks and then remove it all if it was right outside my house.
But really councils need bylaws that this is not allowed so members of the public don't have to work out what to do. Fly tipping is illegal, so not sure what this is much different.

Well its clearly a subject of interest judging by the response in such a short time !

It isnt my shrine and it isnt outside my home. I am just exploring the wider issues surrounding shrines.

When did they start? Well i think it started after Diana Spencer. Prior to that,well people just died,had a funeral and were cremated or buried.

Is it an age thing? Almost certainly. Well my auntie died aged 80 i didnt think to set up a shrine and neither did anyone else.

Is there a link to tragic death i,e road accidents? Almost exclusively,that or a murder. Hence the reason why perhaps my auntie didnt have a shrine.

Someone mentioned class. Is it for want of a better descriptor,largely an underclass thing?

Some shrines get set up due someone being murdered. Many seem to be set up as a result of road deaths. My perception is that some will be low key i,e a simple bunch of flowers whilst others turn into vast piles of flowers,teddys,football tributes,balloons,banners etc,,they also feature vigils ,dove and balloon releases etc.. and worse they repeat year after year after year ad infinitum.

I suspect the latter are often linked to the underclass,the untimely death of a criminal,scrote,car thief or similar.

Im prompted to discuss this as there is one a couple of miles from me. Its piled against the gable end of someones house. I now note that they have had a big plastic banner printed with the picture of the deceased and assorted platitudes on it. It has metal ring holes for securing it and there are no less than 10 screws drilled into someones gable end wall. Would this happen in the cotswolds..?

I hate them. They're inappropriate, ugly looking, frequently distracting to drivers which is dangerous, and leave all kinds of plastic litter behind to blow about all over the place. I think they should be banned.

Cemeteries exist for people to remember their loved ones if they need a location.

Ashes can be placed in boxes and you can create a shrine at home as well.

My goodness, what horrific snobbery. Who even calls people the underclass ?

Are you going to run down and remove the memorial set up for the poor stabbed girl ?

How do people feel about things like the 911 memorial in the footprints of the World Trade Center? Or is that ok because lots of people tragically died?

Come on, you know this one. Just try.

Slightly off topic but within the realms of the subject has anyone seen the bridge in Paris over the underpass Princess Diana’s crash site. Lots of graffiti, full letters in plastic from people of didn’t know her (from the content) random momentos.

It's certainly older than Diana, I lost a friend in 1989 and there was a shrine to him at the side of the road. A small cross still exists there. Makes me a bit sad every time I pass tbh.

Oh lord gosh no, this wouldn't happen in the Cotswolds, don't they have a police presence on the boundary to ensure the underclass don't sneak in to die there?

An yes, there are plenty on the dangerous roads in The Cotswolds.

There is also one where a child in his pushchair and his mother and brother iirc were kiled by a speeding driver. These were working class people so no doubt the memorial and teddies offend you.

@PrawnOfCreation how is anyone too young to be told "yes those flowers are beautiful, they're in memory of someone"?

In some areas there has been ongoing issues and items moved from the roadside due to them creating a distraction and higher risk to motorists whose attention naturally gets drawn to the mass of whatever is it they've seen out the corner of an eye.

If people want to have a bench, plaque, stone or tree / plant outside their homes or set back somewhere in memory - no problem and I see no reason why they shouldn't be allowed.

It's the sudden appearance of a large photograph and mountain of flowers and cellophane that is suddenly stuck to a tree on an unlit country lane you just catch and naturally take your eyes off the road.

What cocks me off most is flowers left with the cellophane wrapping attached. Just take off the cellophane and put down the flowers. They will do as nature intended and become one with the ground. Cellophane is awful, an eyesore, a danger to wildlife and just unnecessary.

Take it off. Leave the teddies at home too. Use your loaf.

Yeti, then I would not necessarily support the use of a ghost bike in that particular situation. But we're talking about the use of ghost bikes generally, are we not?

Some cyclists behave badly. (Although the presence or absence of a helmet doesn't do anything to prevent a crash, and has nothing to do with the likelihood of a crash or how a motorist behaves.) But a lot of road users do a very poor job of looking out for anything smaller than another car (many do a pretty bad job of looking for other cars at junctions even) and I think ghost bikes can serve a useful purpose in alerting both cyclists and drivers at junctions.

I am both a driver and a cyclist. When I cycle, I wear a helmet and hi-viz, cycle defensively according to the skills I learned in my on-road cycling course, and use lights. When I am a driver, I watch out for pedestrians, cyclists, and animals, and I expect them to do unpredictable and stupid things.