When my dad died, it was very important to my mum to choose the right spot in the cemetery.
She chose a place next to a 19-year-old who had been killed in a car accident and had just been buried. Her reasoning was that my dad liked young people and she thought they would get on rather than my dad being among old people. It brought her comfort.
There were a few things around the grave at the time.
It was December, and because there's a spike in deaths in winter, we couldn't hold the funeral for three weeks. Thank God. In that time the boy's grave turned into what the previous poster accurately termed a 'cellotaph'.
She put him with the old people. That was in 1990 and she's with him now. It's a nicer spot - further up the hill with a view and all the neighbours get on.
I can't go there much because I don't live nearby any more. But when I do, I pass the tacky shrine of plastic tat, wilted balloons, sodden teddies and burned out tea lights, which is still there and spreads onto the graves on either side. It's clear that the boy's mourners trample over what would have been my mum and dad's grave in order to lay their crappy tributes in disrespect of the other person and their family's memories and grief.
I suspect that asking them not to trample on other graves would not be a nice experience. I'd be up for that, but why should I? And why should others, who may not be as combative as me, have to put up with their blatant disrespect of anyone else?
It would also upset me to think that these people were despoiling my parents' resting place when I'm not there to defend their peace.
What makes me really angry is when people tell me to suck it up because these people are grieving. Well, what do you think I'm doing?