Aibu about this bridesmaid situation/fallout?

[Skysky1]

I’m engaged and have asked 2 of my closest friends to be bridesmaid, I do have a few other friends who I would I call close but I could only choose two because a) I couldn’t afford to take on anymore b) it’s going to be a small wedding and I would really like to keep it quite simple c) if I took any more bridesmaids on then I might aswell had taken all of my friends on as bridesmaid out of fear of Then leaving say 1 feeling isolatingly left out and I just could not afford to do that. That is the reason why I chose just two , but I will get to the reason as to why I asked the 2 that I did.
So I’ve been engaged for almost 2 years , now and then out of the blue last month I get a message from one of my friends, who happens to be my daughters godmother saying that she is upset and offended that she is not bridesmaid and she feels discriminated against because of her condition (she has a heart condition which makes her faint very often)
I call her back straight away, she didn’t answer so I messaged her to say ‘ that im really sorry that she feels this way and I can insure her that isn’t the case, and the truth is I know she has had a lot on her plate to deal with with her health and I felt that she has not been able to be around much to fulfill her role as a godmother (she has been godmother 8 years and has barely wished my daughter a happy birthday) and that I don’t hold that against her at all , as I know it just must be hard what she is going through , and with that in mind I would rather her just turn up on the day of the wedding as a guest, with no responsibilities and enjoy herself’
My friend in the past has also had to pull out of going to events due to her health and I would be worried about what effect that would have if she were to play an actual role in the wedding
After reading my message she responded that I was cruel and vindictive and how dare I be upset that she hasn’t been around when she has been so ill, basically told me she doesn’t want to speak to me again and blocked my number. This was a month ago now Ive tried on numerous times to speak with her but she has made it clear she doesn’t wish to speak to me.
I would just like to get some unbiased opinions on this , as I feel like she is clearly hurt which I never intended, I value and love her immensely but I do feel my reasons were justifiable

Apparently I'm in a minority but I think your message was nasty and I'm not surprised she's upset.

You can do without a friend like that. I wouldn't bother trying to contact her again. She's attention seeking so I'd leave her to it.

I don't know what your reading TedAndLola however I suggest you re-read it, as the poster was just replying to a text that was sent to her, telling her she was being discriminated against. Her reply was assertive and truthful. The reply from the so called friend was dramatic and unnecessary.

I am not sure you have got whose, whose the right way round here. Quite frankly it's the posters wedding anyway and putting the rest aside the friend has no right to have a fit that she hasn't been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Keffie12, I believe TeaAndLola has it exactly right.

telling her she was being discriminated against. Her reply was assertive and truthful.

The Op reaffirmed the woman's belief it was to do with the fact she is ill and is being left out due to this.

Tea, you are not alone, quite a few of us believe the OP to be in the wrong, or at least very hurtful to her disabled friend.

Me too Bethy and Tea

I also think it was the wrong response. People who have health problems or disabilities, especially those which are not instantly visible and can be misunderstood, are often extremely sensitive to any hint of rejection over these issues and their consequences, especially if it comes from people whom they regard as friends. I have some invisible health problems, less serious than those of the OP's friend, and that is certainly true of me. I am not accusing the OP of deliberately setting out to be nasty, and I realize there was provocation by the friend keeping on about the bridesmaid choices. But it would have been better to just repeat that the OP only wanted two bridesmaids, and that the decision had been made and couldn't be changed. Even snapping at the friend to 'stop being a bloody nag' or similar would IMO have been less hurtful than bringing up her illness and resulting absences as a cause of not being chosen.