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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it offensive or am I being silly?

999 replies

CocaColaaa · 02/03/2019 15:57

Just a quick one but NC for this as I guess its outing.

My childrens school are doing world book day and the “theme” is peter pan, its given some suggestions of characters you can dress up as and one is tigerlilly. I was thinking of chosing that one for DD as I hate all of the tinkerbell dresses but ive heard its offensive to dress up as certain things. Native americans being on of them. Is it offensive or am I being silly? Why oh why do they have to do themes and not just let people pick their favourite book characters 😩

OP posts:

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PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:22

Why are you so afraid to be kind and considerate to marginalised peoples? You aren't going to find yourself on your knees picking cotton under the threat of a whipping, or being forced onto a reservation and being forbidden to speak English if that's what you're worried about. What's the worst that could happen?

CarolinePooter · 05/03/2019 14:23

Oh I don't think so Bertrand...

Pumperthepumper · 05/03/2019 14:26

Fair enough. If you’d said that at the beginning we would have been spared the thread.

Haha what a waste of time! ‘I know it’s racist and I’m going to continue to be racist BYE’

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:26

In other words you don't give a shit about racism and the harm it causes. You actively enjoy being racist.

CarolinePooter · 05/03/2019 14:28

I can be kind to disadvantaged people by donating money to charity and helping where I can. I am not being unkind by allowing what is basically a panto costume to be worn on World Book Day. I am not going to take your impeccably researched opinion that Native Americans would be offended at face value.

Pumperthepumper · 05/03/2019 14:29

I am not being unkind by allowing what is basically a panto costume to be worn on World Book Day.

Yes, you are.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:30

Here, have a few coins. What's that? You'd like some respect and consideration too? As if!

myrtleWilson · 05/03/2019 14:31

Yes you are.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:31

You are being unkind, cruel,dismissive and racist.

NotACleverName · 05/03/2019 14:32

I am not being unkind by allowing what is basically a panto costume to be worn on World Book Day.

Oh my god, 37 damn pages and you still don't get that it's not just a "panto costume." I really don't know what else to say to that.

It's fine, though, Caroline. Dress your bloody kids up however you want. If you insist on dressing them as offensive stereotypes when it's been explained to you, over and over again, why it's offensive then you're truly beyond help.

CarolinePooter · 05/03/2019 14:33

That's unanimous, then! Glad you all got to bond.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:33

I mean if we starting showing marginalised peoples some respect they might get the idea that they're equal to us white people and then where will it end?

insecure123 · 05/03/2019 14:34

Oh dear I lose the will to live at some of the habitually offended folk floating about these days. Its a child. dressing as a character ffs

Though I do agree about the Australian playing William Wallace though - and the fact William Wallace wasn't even "Braveheart" but hey thats a whole other thread ha

CarolinePooter · 05/03/2019 14:36

Insecure, get out quick before they see you....

Pumperthepumper · 05/03/2019 14:41

Insecure I’m Scottish, it’s never ever annoying when non-Scottish people dress up in see you jimmy hats with plastic sporrans and imitating our accents. We just can’t get enough of that shit.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:46

I'm so happy to hear again that a child dressing up can never be offensive, because they're a child. I have these really lucrative kiddy costume ideas I've been considering for a while and I'm so happy to hear that it can become a reality because no one could possibly have an issue with a cute little tyke could they?

Here's some of my ideas.

My little Auschwitz guard. It comes with a matching Holocaust victim suit complete with yellow star and fake gold teeth for easy removal so siblings can play together.
My little Confederate slave owner complete with matching whip and stocks.
My first KKK robes. Buy it now and you'll get two authentic ropes, yes that's two authentic ropes not one, so you and a friend can both lynch the nearest convenient black people.

I just know that they're going to be a hit.

DoneLikeAKipper · 05/03/2019 14:47

Oh dear I lose the will to live at some of the habitually offended folk floating about these days. Its a child. dressing as a character ffs

And I’m losing the will to live when those who say it’s offensive explain why over and over again, with facts to back them up, just for another ‘back in my day/you’re all snowflakes’ types to pop up again.

If you want to live in your deliberately ignorant, ‘non-pc’ world, then go ahead. However, you’re fighting a losing battle, each generation are getting better at recoginsing where we have treated others so badly, and those who are so determined to be ‘non-pc’ (see: I want to be racist/bigoted/misogynistic etc without having to explain myself) are becoming the minority. I bloody hope anyway.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 14:47

Don't worry. I'm going to base the company in England so that makes everything ok.

myrtleWilson · 05/03/2019 14:56

Phew Pickled I was getting a bit worried there that you'd over stepped the mark a little bit but you've reassured me now..

CarolinePooter · 05/03/2019 14:58

Well, I suspect this conversation is coming to a close. I am happy to have drawn a lot of fire on myself, thus allowing more timid MNetters to scamper off into the gloaming. We call this the VonTrapp Manoeuvre. Cheerio, dear ladies (and gent) it has not really been a pleasure knowing you, but has certainly been an eye opener. Never since my long ago school days have I encountered such persistent and determined bullying. You have certainly not changed my mind, but I cannot speak for others. Maybe you are actually more successful than you know! In any event, the rest of Mumsnet has been spared your browbeating for a few days, so I feel my work here is done ;-)

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 15:02

Sorry for the outburst Myrtle, but I'm just so bloody angry and frustrated. People keep using 'But it's a child's costume' as though that's some kind of defence, as though the fact that they're not yet in double figures makes it ok. As if the parents had nothing to do with it. As if they woke up one morning and a 'Indian brave or TigerLily costume had magically appeared on their child. It was nothing to do with them at all. They in spite of being adults who should know better or who have information available so that they can learn, willingly chose to purchase or make said costumes and dress their child in it.

DoneLikeAKipper · 05/03/2019 15:03

I am happy to have drawn a lot of fire on myself

@CarolinePooter, martyr for the ‘but why can’t I be a racist’ Mumsnet brigade! Give her a round of applause as she bravely leaves the thread, knowing she’ll safely be a proud ‘non-pc’er for the rest of her life. So brave. So inspirational.

insecure123 · 05/03/2019 15:08

MyNewBearTotoro

Most sensible reply I have read (so far - don't think I have time for the 37 pages)

Use it as a tool to educate. I remember learning about the war in school. We dressed up (can't remember if it was a play or something - but I remember making a gas mask box and being the child sent away to live with another family) and learned about it. I went on to take a great interest in the War which my grandad helped with as a veteran. And in adult life was lucky enough to actually visit - with my Grandad - the places he fought and learn about it from him. Banning stuff at the fear of offence is not the answer. Character - education.

Whoever made the generalized sweeping statement of the ignorant and uneducated "back in my day" brigade - I am very early 30's don't know if I qualify as that but it's ok I am not easily offended.

PickledLimes · 05/03/2019 15:08

You're welcome. It has truly been an honour. It isn't every day that you meet such unabashed racism.(Well not for me, for others sadly yes) I am awed.

insecure123 · 05/03/2019 15:10

pumperthepumper I am Scottish too but it just doesn't bother me

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