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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my friend has lied to me for money?

333 replies

AppleCrisps · 02/03/2019 15:23

A month ago, my friend decided that it'd be a good idea for us two to go on an overseas trip in April for "old time's sake" (we were very close during our uni years). I agreed, and sent £500 to her bank account to cover for my share of the lodging (payment was all supposed to be done online).

Fast forward to today, trip is cancelled since she "doesn't feel like going anymore". Okay, no problem. Asked her to transfer me the money, and she can't because she's "only got cash at the moment" and she wondered if I could "wait till Friday".

AIBU to be suspicious about this? If she was planning to book everything as per our agreement, why would she even withdraw the money in the first place? I don't want to sound like the paranoid/untrusting friend so haven't said anything to her beyond an "Oh, okay thanks".

OP posts:
cstaff · 03/03/2019 13:48

Hopefully she is waiting to be paid on Friday and will transfer the money as promised. Best of luck with this OP.

CinammonPorridge · 03/03/2019 13:48

Oops just read OPs last post.

sonjadog · 03/03/2019 13:53

That was a strange reply. I would be tempted to say that yes, I am broke and I need my money now. Any decent person would transfer the money back immediately. It is not normal behaviour to sit with 500 pounds of someone else's money and say you are too busy to give it back to them. Most people would make the transfer immediately.

Greyhound22 · 03/03/2019 13:54

I wouldn't gallop round for it - wait until she said - but I'd be fairly pissed off at that reply.

I would answer 'no I'm not broke - but neither can I afford to 'give' you £500. I'm not sure why it isn't just sat in your bank account as no holiday has been booked. I will be needing it back Friday'.

TheresACatInMyLaundryBasket · 03/03/2019 13:58

You can forget seeing that money for a long time, if ever. It will be excuse after excuse until she thinks you'll give u pr forget about it.
---> bitter experience.

Cherrysoup · 03/03/2019 13:59

Text back saying I’ve had unexpected expenses and am in dire need of the money. I’ll come and get it tomorrow.

tablelegs · 03/03/2019 14:01

Say yes I am, I need it back now.

CoraPirbright · 03/03/2019 14:03

That reply makes her sound like a cow. Friendship is over if you get your money or not (and I would be willing to bet you wont see it any time soon). Prepare for her to be huffy and offended that you have the temerity to ask for your money back (AND btw who on earth has £500 in cash sitting around?? Weird).

Jaxinthebox · 03/03/2019 14:06

her reply was a bit off, Id wait until Friday and if its not in your account then go see her to get it back. I think she has spent it on something else and rather than just say so, she is back peddling until she gets paid. (Friday)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2019 14:12

"I told you I'm busy..." followed by "Said I'll transfer it on Fri don't tell me you're broke now rofl"

Deeply unpleasant but hardly a surprise, I'm afraid. Already she's trying to turn this round onto you, implying that you're hassling her when she's "busy" and that you don't need the money anyway

At least this is further proof in writing that she owes you, but while I still hope she'll pay on Friday I'd say the chances are slim - are you prepared to go down the small claims route if it comes to it?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/03/2019 14:29

I'd say: it seems you're broke and you helped yourself to my money.

hastingsmua1 · 03/03/2019 14:37

So confused - wasn’t it just payday for a significant amount of employed people? How does she already have no money in her account?

To be frank I would be taking her to court if this isn’t resolved soon.

Babygrey7 · 03/03/2019 14:48

Friday is still a long way away

Why can't she pay before Friday?

Must be she's spent it, what other reason could there be?

Too busy? Too busy to spend 1-2 minutes to transfer the money?

Original poster
AppleCrisps · 03/03/2019 14:55

I have decided to avoid adding fuel to the flames till Friday and hope for the best. From experience that last message is just how she is when she's on the defensive (seen it all through uni and when she's arguing with other mates/DP so I'm used to it) and any amount of "pushing" will make it worse.

So confused - wasn’t it just payday for a significant amount of employed people? How does she already have no money in her account?

My DP gets paid on the 10th of every month so I think for some at least it varies.

OP posts:
IAmMeThisIsI · 03/03/2019 15:00

Yeah she's waiting for payday. Slam her a message Thursday evening reminding her just to make her want to get it paid back out of the way. Fingers crossed she will sort it out.

cuppycakey · 03/03/2019 15:01

Fingers crossed but after that response from her I wouldn't be keen to renew this friendship at all Sad

BasinHaircut · 03/03/2019 15:02

She doesn’t want to go on the trip anymore = can’t afford it.

She may have used your money to pay for something because she was short and I’m not sure why that automatically makes so many people here suspicious of her motives.

She had said she will pay back on Friday and at the moment has given no reason to believe that she won’t. She may have lied about the cash thing just because she was embarrassed to say ‘sorry I spent it so I’ll pay you back on payday’.

What is the big deal?

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2019 15:07

If you're not desperate for it, she's a good friend, and she doesn't have a history of shafting you, I'd wait till Friday.

EggysMom · 03/03/2019 15:08

It's payday for me and about 20,000 colleagues this Friday Smile

MrMeSeeks · 03/03/2019 15:20

Lets hope you get it back fri!

Iflyaway · 03/03/2019 15:45

What is the big deal?

The big deal is that it's not her money to spend. The big deal is that she has not immediately transferred it back when the holiday was cancelled.

Not the actions of a friend in my book.

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/03/2019 16:11

She sounds horrible. Hope you get your money back. I imagine you feel differently about her now?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/03/2019 16:15

She's busy? She's on holiday, gets back on Thursday...

TescoValue · 03/03/2019 16:34

I want to know how this ends! So strange that she's probably spent it!

MrsJBaptiste · 03/03/2019 16:46

Definitely hang on until Friday. You can't really say you desperately need the £500 now as until the other day, you were fine without it as you thought it was paying for your trip away. Hopefully you'll getvthe money back at the end of the week and you can forget this ever happened but don't lend your friend money again!