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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my friend has lied to me for money?

333 replies

AppleCrisps · 02/03/2019 15:23

A month ago, my friend decided that it'd be a good idea for us two to go on an overseas trip in April for "old time's sake" (we were very close during our uni years). I agreed, and sent £500 to her bank account to cover for my share of the lodging (payment was all supposed to be done online).

Fast forward to today, trip is cancelled since she "doesn't feel like going anymore". Okay, no problem. Asked her to transfer me the money, and she can't because she's "only got cash at the moment" and she wondered if I could "wait till Friday".

AIBU to be suspicious about this? If she was planning to book everything as per our agreement, why would she even withdraw the money in the first place? I don't want to sound like the paranoid/untrusting friend so haven't said anything to her beyond an "Oh, okay thanks".

OP posts:
Original poster
AppleCrisps · 02/03/2019 17:26

I was wondering the same ... even if it's just a text or something?

Just a link to the place plus a line from her saying "Your share comes to about £490". Everything else was discussed in person.

OP posts:
ASurfeitOfDuncans · 02/03/2019 17:28

You've been swizzed.

cstaff · 02/03/2019 17:30

@LL83 this is the best suggestion so far. If for whatever reason your friend comes up with the money on Friday all good, whereas if you arrive at their house over the weekend and they don't have it then you can probably kiss your 500 goodbye along with your friendship.

purpleelk · 02/03/2019 17:32

Well that’s enough because you then have your wire transfer of £500 to her account. If everything else has been a conversation then you can claim as far as you were aware, she was booking per the link. She didn’t, she doesn’t have any reservations as proof, so she owes you the money back. Pretty easy to prove in small claims.

Dutch1e · 02/03/2019 17:38

She'll have spent it but if you keep bugging her I expect you'll get it back eventually.

ApolloandDaphne · 02/03/2019 17:38

She has spent it and can't give you it back until Friday. I bet she gets paid Friday.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/03/2019 17:39

Just a link to the place plus a line from her saying "Your share comes to about £490"

I'm no expert, but that sounds like enough to me - especially if you transferred the £500 straight away after receiving the message

Obviously I hope she returns the money, but I really wouldn't be too confident from the sound of things

Jessbow · 02/03/2019 17:42

I'd appear tommorow morning, saying having the cash back now to pay for (* Car service/ikea trip/the emergency plumber) will save you the faff of going to the bank.

She'll mysteriously just have paid it into her bank [ at which point you offer to pop her to the cash point]

rosablue · 02/03/2019 18:13

I would make sure you have a screenshot of the page she linked to just in case you need it but make sure when you send any more texts you think in terms of ‘if this went to the small claims court’, make sure they are explicit about the situation so she has no chance of saying it’s a gift..,

So - along the lines of ‘you said that you needed £500 for my share of our holiday which I sent immediately to enable you to pay. You followed it up with the link to the hotel for £490 for my share and implied you were about to book it immediately...’ and so on so that there’s more written evidence of you plans that make it hard for her bmdispute

tealandteal · 02/03/2019 20:18

Do people get paid at the start of the month? I agree that turning up probably won't help.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 02/03/2019 20:24

@tealandteal I get paid on the 15th and my dp does on the 22nd so it is possible she's paid next Friday

Drogosnextwife · 02/03/2019 20:40

Yes I think she is definitely lying OP. I have lived with a liar for the last 7years and they are good at making up excuses no matter what you through at them. I would turn up at her house tomorrow. I doubt she will reply tonight, if she does there will definitely be a reason you can't come round for it tomorrow. Good luck

Foodylicious · 02/03/2019 20:50

All of this could cost you your friendship.
I presume you must be quite close to be planning a holiday together?

I would wait until Friday to give the best chance of getting the £500 back.

Would be really crap to lose both the friendship and the money

If she hasn't replied she could be embarrassed/scared/anxious/ashamed about having spent some of your money.

Hopefully she will be able to tell you everything

Maybe text her again and say that actually tomorrow isn't good for you, but can you meet up on Friday??

CallMeWoman · 02/03/2019 21:04

I retract my previous comments saying you should go round ASAP. Wait until Friday as she suggested, and hopefully it'll all come right.

Either way she has kind of torpedoed your friendship....

Theconifers25 · 03/03/2019 13:11

Did you go to her house in the end OP?

QueenofallIsee · 03/03/2019 13:14

I am weirdly invested - did you get your money back today OP?

Original poster
AppleCrisps · 03/03/2019 13:24

She ended up texting me very late last night with "I told you I'm busy..." followed by "Said I'll transfer it on Fri don't tell me you're broke now rofl" with the Whatsapp eyes-rolling emoji tacked on the back (I'm not on mobile so can't type that).

Didn't end up going over but will be religiously checking my bank account on Friday.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 03/03/2019 13:26

that was a nasty bitchy response from your 'so called' friend OP. Hmm

She doesn't have your money. Flowers

ChandelierSail · 03/03/2019 13:31

I'd be interested to know whether you get the money on Fri, OP. I hope you do ...

poppycity · 03/03/2019 13:31

@AppleCrisps - that's a terrible reply on her part. I've never understood how anyone can have the nerve to make a mockery of the person in the right rather than do the right thing (after poor form) and apologize.

I just went through a money thing with a friend and did get the money back - also for travel but in our case work related!

Cagliostro · 03/03/2019 13:32

Wow she’s not nice or trustworthy is she

CinammonPorridge · 03/03/2019 13:32

I agree with previous poster that she is probably embarrassed hence 'I've only got cash', not 'I've got your money in cash' i.e. I've got some money so saving face but not specifying whether it's yours so saving embarrassment. The point is she hasn't got your money so texting her for it is going to achieve nothing? Plus, do you need it before Friday. I would say actually I'm busy and can't pop round, just return it me on Friday please! Thanks ever so much. I would bet money (£500?) on that being fine.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 03/03/2019 13:35

Await Fri, get the cash and then bin her off.
If it doesn't show, ask her on fb for it.

youarenotkiddingme · 03/03/2019 13:37

Well you now have in writing she'll transfer it. As well as texts to prove what it was for.

Could you do small claims court if t doesn't turn up? (No idea if you can for personal claims?)

akmum18 · 03/03/2019 13:38

Could she be in some sort of trouble and used you for your money bringing up the holiday as a cover? Sadly that’s how it sounds. Her response isn’t nice either, you should text back that yes you are broke and need it urgently who is she to ask you why you want your own money back. I really hope you get it back on Friday as from past experience myself I have a feeling she’ll cut contact and not send it. This is no friend i wouldn’t trust her again if it were me.