To not go to friends wedding tomorrow...I'm the bridesmaid

[sillyandsally]

I had a baby 3 months ago and she isn't sleeping on a night at all.
I'm lucky if I get 2 hours sleep.
I'm exhausted to a point I feel sick.
My friends wedding tomorrow and I'm bridesmaid but I know tonight I will be lucky to get even 3 hours sleep so I'm going to be in no fit state.
I feel so sick and exhausted with tiredness.
Aibu to tell her I can't go?
The wedding is at 1pm but she wants me over at 9am for makeup and hair.
I don't know what to do

I really hope you have a lovely day and it perks you up. I said up thread I was a single parent to a none sleeper, so I really am cheering you on. I hope you have a fab day

Yay! Well done OP! Enjoy the day as much as you can.

You've done the right thing.

Well done Silly.
Have a great day.

Enjoy OP!!

OP, sorry if my reply sounded a bit harsh. I was up feeding our 4 week old at the time! I do empathise and I didn't realise you suffered with anxiety etc (should have read the full thread). I still think it's the right thing to go and support your friend as you agreed to but maybe you can go home early. Good luck today anyway

Well done op. I hope your "day off" is nice!

just read this and im soo glad you are on your way!!

enjoy your day and try relax as much as possible x

Yay! Careful cos the Prosecco may also send you to sleep - lots of caffeine and sugar would be my advice.

As brilliant! You've made the right decision. Enjoy the day ☺️

Yay OP!! Gosh I'm a bit misty eyed. I understand what you've had to mentally overcome. Well done you! Have a super duper day

Go, or I hope you went. Dumping her the day of her wedding is just shitty.

Well done OP, you're doing the right thing and you will be ok. You might even get a chance for a nap at some stage!

Nanny please attempt to keep up

Hi there, I read the thread last night and was rooting for you all the way and praying you’d get a half-way decent night’s sleep.

Big pat on the back for you, OP. I think you’ll be so glad you made the decision to go. Hope you have a fantastic day. 🤗

Well done, OP, I hope you have a wonderful day and maybe in a way, it will refresh you mentally to be away from your non-sleeping baby just for a little while! But I do echo those who suggest seeing if your doctor or health visitor can help you somehow because at the moment, it must be really difficult for you to enjoy your baby, because of your exhaustion, and that's a real shame.

So pleased you've gone OP. I hope you have a lovely day and that it perks you up.

Have a lovely day

Have fun OP. I am sure you will enjoy it and be glad you made the effort. Some child free time might actually do you the world of good.

Well done for going. You may even enjoy yourself. Think of it as a break from responsibility for your baby for a day.

FWIW sleep exhaustion is terrible. My son had cancer for two and a half years before he died. I stayed by his side all that time. In hospital you don't sleep because of the noise from the machines, other people, fear. At home you don't sleep because your child needs you 24 hours.

After he died it probably took me 6 months before I began to sleep. However I gave up trying to sleep as that just drove me mad and made it worse. I used to lie in bed and watch tv throughout the night. I told myself that at least my body was resting and my mind was resting (tv was more restful than thoughts of my child). I let myself not worry about sleeping and eventually I did sleep. It's still bad 5 years on but I think my body now just coped with little or disturbed sleep.

I hope you get to enjoy today. When you get home try to focus on relaxing rather than sleeping. It may ease your anxiety.

Well done for deciding to go. my DD screamed and screamed 24/7 (reflux, KISS) it was hell, sheer hell, so I feel your pain. But being tired will become....being less tired. But it will take time. But enjoy today and maybe kick off your shoes for a little boogie.

Have a great day, OP. I read the thread as far as pg 8 last night (It was the last post at that time) but didn’t post anything myself as I was hoping you’d be in bed and fast asleep by then.

Having full care of a young baby IS absolutely draining and exhausting when your baby isn’t great at sleeping (will never forget those early months with my now 29yrvold son. His brother was a the total opposite but they both were great from 2yrs and right up to until they left home. Never had to remind them to go to bed, never had to remind them to get up!), so I could really empathize with your posts yesterday. I hope the grandparents are minding your baby overnight because then you’d get a good night of unbroken rest which would set you up for a few days at least.
Anyway, have a wonderful day, enjoy getting your hair and makeup done, and congratulate yourself on making the effort for your friend’s day. She must have a very close relationship with you to chose you as her maid of honor, so you must be a good friend!

OP - I’ve also totally solo parented a baby from birth. I was delirious by 16 weeks due to baby waking every hour since birth. DBro got married when DC was 20 weeks and still hadn’t slept more than 2 hours at a time - reflux/colic/CMPA. I was a fucking mess. But I wasn’t a bridesmaid so there was no pressure on me. I went. I left after the main meal was finished and nobody batted an eyelid. SIL said she was surprised I made it at all (she’d also solo parented for a long time prior to meeting my DBro).

If you were my friend I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you felt you couldn’t do it. Even at this late notice. I would have planned for it.

@minmooch so very sorry about your soon,I can't imagine what you went through,feel a bit like a twat for worrying about it now .

@minmooch son xx

Well done silly, hope you have a lovely time. Definitely lay off the prosecco until later in case you’re to be found in the corner having the best sleep of your life!
Enjoy your baby free time, it might be just what you need