To not let friend's DC use my car seat??

[bubblegumbottles]

Okay, I'm half expecting to get a good old MN lashing for this but here goes.

The incident has come and gone, I'm just genuinely curious to know if I'm completely bonkers or if anyone else would have felt the same.

Recently decided to go for a day trip with a friend of mine and her 1 year old DS. She doesn't drive so I agreed to drive and we agreed that she would bring the car seat she uses in her mum's car to put in mine for the day.
When I arrived at her house, she had forgotten to pick up the car seat from her mum's. When I asked what we were going to do, she said 'oh well I just assumed DS could use yours'.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first DC and so have had a new car seat that my MIL bought us in the car to practise getting it in and out etc. I was a bit put out by this suggestion as it's my first child and quite a lot of money has been spent on this car seat, I really dislike the idea of my DC not being the first to use it. Friend's DS is like any other kid and makes a mess very easily so I didn't really fancy the idea of my unborn DC's things being used and soiled before she's even had a chance to use them!

Now my friend lives right by a big Argos so I offered to nip round there and pick up (and pay for) a new car seat for about £40 so not the fanciest but will do the job and she could then keep the car seat as a spare so she doesn't have to keep swapping the car seat out of her mum's every time someone else is driving.
Friend told me this was a 'fucking ridiculous idea' and that I was 'just being precious' about my baby's things. 'She's not even born yet, she doesn't care who uses her stuff'. And then went on to say I obviously wasn't bothered about her DS's safety to put him in a cheap car seat!

AIBU to be completely shocked by this or is my friend being a CF?!

OP why did you give your friend the extra car seat?

Surely if you are the one who will be giving her lifts in the future then the extra car seat should be in your car?

Her mum has a car seat for when she gives her a lift.

I think you’re being unreasonable but that said, your feelings are your feelings. I also think the friend was a bit cheeky for the assumption. You were both BU.

On a note about car seat mess, I feel I’m on another planet. Walking children may have muddy or dirty feet but non walking children don’t. Children aren’t meant to eat or drink while on the move, it’s a choking hazard. There’s no need to eat or drink in the car seat. They can be taken out if they’re starving or parched. If this is a pukey child or has car sickness, then fine but most children don’t vomit randomly all over their car seats.

Hand me downs or choosing to buy second hand are not the same as owning a brand new thing and someone expecting to use it first

And it’s not precious any more than buying all second hand is stingy

You’re not at all unreasonable. I wouldn’t like someone else in my new babies seat. She knew she’d need a seat and she didn’t bother.

@ILoveMaxiBondi yes actually before the baby was born. It's called setting shit up so you don't have to do it when you come home after a c section and no partner. If I want to put my baby's play mat on my living room floor where it will be used I will. She put her kid with dirty feet from wearing no shoes down on it. Maybe you go around walking on people's stuff with your shoes on but most people don't. But cheers for the pointless and stupid advice.

Totally PFB. Could understand if it was clothes or blankets, but not a car seat. Being sentimental over a car seat seems slightly crackers. Sorry.

Refusing to let friend use your baby’s car seat because they just couldn’t be bothered bringing their own = not precious. Fair enough in my book

Refusing to let friend use your baby’s car seat because “big baby yuckiness”= precious

Refusing to let friend use your baby’s car seat because your baby must get first go in it or it loses it’s magical specialness= precious.

Maybe you go around walking on people's stuff with your shoes on but most people don't.

no we’re a shoes off household. That being said I still wouldn’t leave a baby mat down on the floor when baby wasn’t playing on it. Trip hazard, stuff gets dropped/spilled, faff having to move it to hoover and of course sometimes visitors will walk in with shoes on and walk over it completely oblivious. I only put my babies mats down when I was actually putting them down on it. No way would I have it out all the time.

She put her kid with dirty feet from wearing no shoes down on it.

I’m sure it could be washed.

That's potty op. I hope you friend has the chance to expect you to lump around a 1 year old and a car seat at some point in the future. I'd have been fuming with you too!

This conversation is ridiculous as we clearly do different things in our homes. I don't walk around with shoes, and at the time lived in a tiny place, on my own with fuck all storage. I could not take it out and put it away every time. I don't walk on people's things, and no one else walked on it, no one tripped on it. I'm sure lots of people have kids toys and baby paraphernalia out without people tripping.
I had it out all the time and he was on it frequently when he was born.

Christ give it a rest.

It’s clearly not precious as it seems about as normal (at least from this thread) to be ok with someone else using the new thing first, as it is to want the person thing was intended for to use it first.

And I’m not getting why a new car seat for a first baby is particularly different to a special event outfit or a new phone or even a new toy for a child.

Why can’t the person it was bought for be allowed to use it first? Without being called unpleasant names.

Yabu and totally precious. It was the logical thing to do. Wouldn't have occurred to me not to let someone use it.

What is PFB?

Precious first born @marylou1977

I say OP is totally entitled to be PFB about this, what with it being her PFB and all that. Are there not whole threads on here about the unreasonable things we did with our PFBs?

Do 1 year olds really fit in a newborn car seat these days? My youngest is 9 and while he had one which went up to toddler age I had to faff around moving the straps and stuff. Maybe they are more easy to alter these days.

I kind of get it. You want it only for your baby. Especially when your baby hasn't even used it yet. BUT you should have put your feelings aside and let him use it.

I don't think yabu at all. It's your first child and you have chosen to buy new. She is totally unreasonable and a cf to boot.

I think you were too precious. It's only a bloody car seat. The kids hasn't got anthrax.

'You ok hun ' 😡😡😡😡😡

appointmentsaretheworst You put a baby mat down on the floor and then complained when a baby used it! I thought the op was bonkers, but you win this one.

appointment have the mat on the floor, don’t have the mat on the floor, it doesn’t matter to me, but it can’t realky have been a shock that a child seeing a child’s toy will want to play with it. No can it be a surprise that something sitting on the floor will get walked over.

I actually have lent a very good friend an expensive pair of sandals before i’d worn them. I think you’re bonkers, OP. And have more money than sense.