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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU re cats sleeping on my bed

189 replies

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/02/2019 12:34

This is going to sound really petty but I'm going to go for it anyway.

I've been with my bf for about 18 months now. He as a bit shocked when we first started seeing each other that I let my cats sleep on my bed. He makes jokes about how he hopes they're not sleeping on "his" pillow and how he'll get pink eye from them. I don't let them in the bedroom at night when he stays over (maybe 3 times a week) but on the nights I'm on my own they come in and snuggle and my 4 year old girl does like to sleep on his pillow.

Last night we were chatting on the phone and I was just saying how cute she looked the night before and he was genuinely annoyed I'd let her sleep there, said that he wants to be able to go to sleep without cat hair going up his nose and feeling itchy. Now, I have had cats all my life and have never had a problem and surely all cats sleep on the bed.....isn't that the beauty of having a cat, the bedtime snuggles.

He was a bit of a misery and said he wouldnt stay over anymore to which I replied fine, I've had her four years, she was here first and I will not be banishing her from my room. I have however said I will cover his pillow up so she doesn't sleep directly on it but seriously, am I being slovenly letting them sleep on my bed or is he being a massive prat about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/02/2019 12:49

Could you get your boyfriend a basket and put in next to the radiator at night so he doesn’t get too cold?

Finfin this made me laugh out loud. I am going to suggest this to him for sure :)

OP posts:
PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 28/02/2019 12:49

You know that as far as you cat is concerned it isn’t your bed or pillow, don’t you?

QuietlyQuaffing · 28/02/2019 12:49

It's easy enough to give him a clean pillowcase. I would want one in his position.

adaline · 28/02/2019 12:50

It's interesting because a lot of threads about pets in the bed go completely the other way - that it's gross/unhygienic etc.

ChesterGreySideboard · 28/02/2019 12:51

Sorry but my cats would win.
I love having my cat on my bed.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 28/02/2019 12:51

I still think he's being a massive pillock over this, and the cats will always win lol.

Good girl!

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 28/02/2019 12:52

My cat always sleeps on the bed.

When we first got a cat my husband said there was no way he was sleeping on the bed abut now he brings him on when he goes to bed.

Let your cats stay :)

maras2 · 28/02/2019 12:53

My cats have always slept on our bed/my pillow and I've never had conjunctivitis (pink eye).
Married 44 years and have had many cats as we both love them.
You made the (?deliberate) mistake of telling him.

QueenOfIce · 28/02/2019 12:54

Buy him his own special pwecious pillow and pillowcase then suffocate him with it. Grin

boringlyboring · 28/02/2019 12:57

He is definitely BU. If you get to the stage of moving in I guarantee it will be ‘me or the cats’

HolesinTheSoles · 28/02/2019 13:01

If it bothers him that much surely he can just bring a spare pillow case when he stays?

chillpizza · 28/02/2019 13:06

His not an arse his offered a compromise. He won’t sleep over anymore. I wouldn’t want to lay on a pillow covered in fur and cats ass and I have a cat.

harriethoyle · 28/02/2019 13:06

I would definitely cover his pillow or change it if cat has slept on it and he comes over it but agree with you not banishing them! I dumped a gentleman called a few years ago when he screamed with fear when the car jumped on the bed one morning...!! Not even joking! She and I coped very nicely without him from that point on...!

harriethoyle · 28/02/2019 13:07

Good Lord. I meant *comes over not comes over it... he shouldn't be doing that to your pillow!

LancsPear · 28/02/2019 13:09

Have you read about the woman who amassed a cat hairball in her vagina from sleeping in the bed with her cats?

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a45893/hairball-vag/

Dotty1970 · 28/02/2019 13:10

It's disgusting 🤢

Slatkater · 28/02/2019 13:10

and the cats will always win lol

Good. The sooner he understand his place in the pecking order the better.

eddiemairswife · 28/02/2019 13:11

I too am not keen on cats sleeping on my pillow. Apart from the hairs, I don't want her bottom in the vicinity of my face (poo crumbs anyone?). She's welcome to sleep anywhere else on the bed.

JenniferJareau · 28/02/2019 13:11

I have cats, no way would mine be stopped from sleeping on my bed by anyone.

Rade · 28/02/2019 13:11

If the cat sleeps on the bed it most certainly will be covered in cat hair and I would not get into a bed that had had a cat on it.
We have a cat which belongs to DS now at uni. While he is away it's not allowed in any of the bedrooms, when he comes home it sleeps on his bed but I put a cat cover flat sheet over the bed and change bedding twice a week.

GunpowderGelatine · 28/02/2019 13:11

Sorry but letting any animal sleep in your bed is grim and I wouldn't appreciate it either. If it's a good relationship then don't fall out over something like this, show a little respect and put the cat at the end of the bed

AnnaMagnani · 28/02/2019 13:16

He is. The cat will win.

He needs to learn to pick his battles.

DH did not like cats when he met me. Luckily for him my then cats did not sleep in our bed. But then kittens arrived and they were soooo cute and snuck up while we were asleep. Even worse one of them now sleeps inside the bed. And the old lady has taken to sitting on his head.

Your BF should consider himself lucky Grin

Original poster
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/02/2019 13:17

Gunpower it's not about showing respect, I respect him very much. The fact of the matter is he knew I had cats when I met him, he knows they like to sleep on the bed and he cannot expect me to put his ideals above my cats, one of whom is 4 and has been with me a lot longer than him. I have offered a compromise, I will cover the pillow area with a blanket and he can have a fresh pillow case whenever he comes over. If he wants to chuck his toys out the pram and say he's he's not staying over unless I ban them from the bedroom then that's up to him, that's the way madness lies and I will not be told what to do in my own home.

And saying put the cat at the end of the bed.....have you ever owned a cat. I could put her on the end of the bed a million times, she's a wilful soul and would just creep back to sleep next to me.

OP posts:
ChakiraChakra · 28/02/2019 13:18

There definitely are two types of people in this world. The animal lovers, and the ones who spiders rub their willies on their faces at night ;)

Would getting a full size throw for your bed sort it? One that covers the pillows too. Cats sleep on bed as usual when he's not there, throw is turned back/off when he's there and cats aren't.

Justamemory · 28/02/2019 13:18

My DP hates the cat sleeping on the bed. The hairs get everywhere even if she doesn't sleep on his pillow. I put a cat blanket (one of those fleecey things) on the end of the bed, and 'trained' her to sleep on there. She was very good about it and it prevented unwanted fluff getting everywhere.
She's since been banished to sleeping downstairs as she was waking me at 4am for breakfast and I need my sleep!

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