New lodger taking over my house!!!

[scrabbled]

Ahhh not sure if I'm being unreasonable as my last lodger kept himself very to himself and I know I was lucky.

New lodger moved in Saturday, but I was away.

He is taking over my house!!

• has installed a doorbell with alarms all over the house without asking me
• keeps his bedroom door open whilst blaring out rubbish heavy metal music
• has filled all available work spaces with protein and supplements and squeezed my stuff onto a tiny shelf
• stays up until the early hours watching tv in he living room and refusing to turn it down.
• kept his keys in the door so that when I got home from work I was locked out, as he was in the shower.

I've just been sitting quietly eating dinner and he has come in and turned on the TV and started watching something.

AIBU here? And if I'm not how do I tell him where the boundaries are?

You need to be firm here. If he doesn't like it he can lump it, you're not being unreasonable.

Set boundaries now, tell him he can leave otherwise or it will just get harder.

Or just tell him to leave - whichever the contract allows for.

The notice period is two weeks in the contract but I have given lodgers a week before (stopped paying rent) so know that this is allowed.

Get rid!!!! Pronto!!

OP do you think he's confused about what a lodger is? If he's youngish it may be that he thinks this is another house share.

Also why do single women have male lodgers?? I'll never understand that. Inviting a total male stranger to live in your home!>

You are clearly ignoring all the advice on here so not sure why you posted.

is this going to be one of those threads where they say a really awful problem,everyone says your not be ur and in this case get him out and yet everything goes on as usual and the op doesn't change things.

So you're going to give him a week's notice tomorrow yes?

I'm not ignoring the advice but it's 9pm so realistically not about to tell the guy to leave right now. I genuinely am not sure if I'm being precious about my house.

Is there any reason you're posting here rather than having an adult conversation with him along the lines of 'This isn't working please move out'

or just attention seeking

Also I've name changed because of the picture of my kitchen, I'm not a troll

Wow. You either need a stern talk about how this is not a flat share, this is your home and there are rules to follow, or just say this is not working out, find a new place.

Is there a friend or family member you can get to come and stay even if sleeping on the sofa?

Moral support so you can give him notice asap. Please end this, it can't get better. I have lodgers, mostly works out well or ok but occasionally difficult or (once) really awful. In my experience clashes of expectations early on have been hard to change once started and I then have to decide if it's something I can tolerate or not. I have found it easier to give a true excuse for my unexpected need for the room back. This could be genuinely needed repairs ie kitchen/bathroom out of action for unspecified amount of time or relative needing to stay.

Attention seeking then!

Being a lodger is very different from living in a houseshare and he doesn’t know the difference. I don’t think he’s done anything terrible although the alarms is a bit over the top.

When people say you're ignoring advice it's because you're not acknowledging it.

You are happy to live like this? People like this don't change.

but it's 9pm so realistically not about to tell the guy to leave right now.

No but you tell him you want him out at the weekend.

Clearly you need to stand up to him.

And get him out of your house, there’s no coming back from this particular brand of behaviour

I managed a friends property once while he travelled. He had two lodgers. While he was gone, they painted the hallway in GLOSS PAINT. All over the walls. They were young men who had a sense of ownership because they'd been brought up that way and didn;t understand that this was my mate's house!

Give her a break, she posted about this an hour ago! @titchy back off eh!

Sinister people expect/want an OP to say "Oh thanks how shall I word it when I tell him to leave?"

It's like instant gratification...and if the OP doesn't provide it, they get upset.

He clearly thinks he’s in charge because he’s a man. This will be unbearable in the long term.

Putting up permanent items like doorbells, locking you out, refusing to comply with reasonable requests - all of these are good reasons to evict.

Was there a trial period stipulated I the contract? I'm guessing not, but you need to put one in there for the next one.

This one has gtg

An hour of over 100 unanimous posts and not one acknowledgement that knows what she needs to do.

@titchy really would you make the evening this awkward for yourself when you could just sleep on it, think about how to work it and then tell him tomorrow? Remember I have to live with the guy in the short term.