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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New lodger taking over my house!!!

496 replies

scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:08

Ahhh not sure if I'm being unreasonable as my last lodger kept himself very to himself and I know I was lucky.

New lodger moved in Saturday, but I was away.

He is taking over my house!!

  • has installed a doorbell with alarms all over the house without asking me
  • keeps his bedroom door open whilst blaring out rubbish heavy metal music
  • has filled all available work spaces with protein and supplements and squeezed my stuff onto a tiny shelf
  • stays up until the early hours watching tv in he living room and refusing to turn it down.
  • kept his keys in the door so that when I got home from work I was locked out, as he was in the shower.

I've just been sitting quietly eating dinner and he has come in and turned on the TV and started watching something.

AIBU here? And if I'm not how do I tell him where the boundaries are?

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 26/02/2019 20:49

So how did he move in, if you weren't there?

NotANotMan · 26/02/2019 20:50

I had to give a lodger notice within a week once. It was unbearable. He left, after lots of complaining, but I was so relieved.
Have you told him to leave? Lodgers are pretty easy to come by.

Original poster
scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:51

He came over Friday to get his key and sign contracts and said he would move in Saturday, which I was fine with. Not sure why it's relevant.

OP posts:
ItsABeautifulDayNow · 26/02/2019 20:51

What the actual fuck?!

Are you the landlord or a fellow tenant?

Either way if there's a clause in any agreements that could shift him, put them into action in writing and tell him any belongings must be removed by x date. Get a friend / family member over for the day if you feel intimidated. The longer you leave it the tougher this will be.

Change the locks.

Get a new lodger who isn't a complete eejit.

He sounds like Eddie from friends and it's definitely time for "see ya pal"!

1Wildheartsease · 26/02/2019 20:51

Sounds as if he thinks that he is house-sharing rather than lodging with a house owner.

House shares allow you use of most of the house - a 'share' of it all. The kitchen is 'shared' and you have equal rights with the other people in the house. (Therefore you can install doorbells - use the TV when you feel like it etc.)

A lodger uses the space allotted -usually a bedroom - and access to the bathroom and kitchen. A kitchen cupboard might be allotted to them - and perhaps a shelf in the fridge/freezer. There might be access to the washing machine - at agreed times.

Gazelda · 26/02/2019 20:51

Get rid!!! I'd have been apoplectic when he locked me out of my own home.

FannyFifer · 26/02/2019 20:52

Fuck that, tell him to leave.

Original poster
scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:52

All my other lodgers have largely spent time in their room as it's a big double with tv, sofa etc. Only really seen them when they are cooking or using the bathroom which is of course fine.

OP posts:
lostpigeon · 26/02/2019 20:53

He sounds a dangerous person!

Missingstreetlife · 26/02/2019 20:53

Get rid, police if needed. He's takin the p
Never let a lodger in your living room. Give them bigger bedroom, run of kitchen and bathroom.

Samind · 26/02/2019 20:55

Maybe he told you he'd be no trouble etc why the urgency to move? Signing an moving in next day? my landlord discussed everything. Cupboard space, smoke outside, lock the doors when leaving. All very straight forward stuff but boundaries were set as I'd came into their home.

feelingsinister · 26/02/2019 20:56

I don't think it's unreasonable for him to use the lounge, he's paying rent so if he wants to use the communal space he should. Just because you've have lodgers who stay in their rooms, it doesn't mean it's the norm.

But, everything else sounds fucking batshit and aggressive. It feels like he's marking his territory, almost the equivalent of pissing round a tree. Bet he's a leg spreader on trains too.

I'd feel very uncomfortable living with him and would definitely be telling him it's not working out and he should leave.

cushioncovers · 26/02/2019 20:56

Sounds like he has major boundary issues and I suspect it will only get worse. I'd get rid of him pronto

Original poster
scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:57

Sorry he didn't sign then move, he looked round a few weeks ago then gave notice. I got references etc but he was house sharing before which is perhaps causing some confusion. I don't think he's dangerous but he is a little patronising, possibly because I'm a girl.

OP posts:
hamandpease · 26/02/2019 20:57

@scrabbled is there a reason you don't want to evict? I'm a bit confused why you haven't replied to the 647 people who've told you to. If you're worried about doing so perhaps some friends could come over whilst you tell him?

ProseccoandPizza · 26/02/2019 20:58

Not in South Wales by any chance are you OP?

RandomMess · 26/02/2019 20:59

Did you write down house rules?

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/02/2019 20:59

Did you tell him he had the right to use the living room. If so why? He has everything he needs in his large double. It sounds as if he lied or perhaps has no self awareness.

What is the notice period stipulated in the contract? Do you have any get out clauses such as music or taking over your home in other ways?

SpeedyBojangles · 26/02/2019 21:00

YANBU! You need to have words

However.....

YABU here rubbish heavy metal music

Grin
MotherOfDragonite · 26/02/2019 21:00

Why haven't you evicted him already?

GreasyFryUp · 26/02/2019 21:01

@TaliZorahVasNormandy 👍👍

ReallyReallyNo · 26/02/2019 21:01

So are you going to boot him out or not?

Thequaffle · 26/02/2019 21:01

Doorbell and alarms? He isn’t allowed to make changes like that! Tell him it’s not working and serve notice.

Original poster
scrabbled · 26/02/2019 21:01

I did the tour Friday (again), showed him his cupboard space etc. All the usual stuff. Asked him not to bring his own kitchen equipment unless it's something he needs that I don't have as my space is too small and he agreed.

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 26/02/2019 21:02

Ffs. Give him notice. Even if he improves he’ll still be a nightmare.

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