Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New lodger taking over my house!!!

496 replies

scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:08

Ahhh not sure if I'm being unreasonable as my last lodger kept himself very to himself and I know I was lucky.

New lodger moved in Saturday, but I was away.

He is taking over my house!!

  • has installed a doorbell with alarms all over the house without asking me
  • keeps his bedroom door open whilst blaring out rubbish heavy metal music
  • has filled all available work spaces with protein and supplements and squeezed my stuff onto a tiny shelf
  • stays up until the early hours watching tv in he living room and refusing to turn it down.
  • kept his keys in the door so that when I got home from work I was locked out, as he was in the shower.

I've just been sitting quietly eating dinner and he has come in and turned on the TV and started watching something.

AIBU here? And if I'm not how do I tell him where the boundaries are?

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 27/02/2019 19:38

We had lodgers before the kids, and we had one who was a PITA, though frankly nowhere near as bad as yours.

Give notice. Politely but clearly say it's not working out and you don't feel it's something that can be resolved. He'll probably behave as though you are joint tenants and it can be sorted, because this type do, at which point you can say, as we had to, that you appreciate views differ but it's your house and you have made your mind up, so it's not really open to discussion.

If he thinks modifying your house and taking over your kitchen is okay, and his response to your asking him to stop doing it is, "no" in his very first week in, then it's only going to get worse and worse. There's no way this is someone who understands it's not his house. And it's not your job to teach him, nor your risk to take on his ever learning.

perfectstorm · 27/02/2019 19:45

@kateandme our lodgers were always welcome to use the house as their own, provided they told us if they had (occasional!) overnight guests in advance, and showed mutual courtesy. They had access to all rooms other than our own bedroom. We only had problems with one - the other four over the years we had them were really lovely. A couple are still friends now in fact.

You had to bite your tongue over the odd thing, same as any houseshare. But frankly, this guy would be awful in a houseshare, too. Taking over the kitchen, adapting the house without discussion, locking someone else out... and all in the first week?!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/02/2019 19:50

Change the locks

Definitely change the locks when he leaves.

You have no idea whether this chancer has another key cut.

Serin · 27/02/2019 19:52

Yep, change the locks.......before he does.

Bunnyfuller · 27/02/2019 20:07

And the OP has left the building....

missyfafa · 27/02/2019 20:10

I’m not surprised she’s left the building. I can’t believe some of the comments on this thread. Talk about unsupportive.

MeridianB · 27/02/2019 20:11

@hellbent

Is this your former lodger? Wink

New lodger taking over my house!!!
FairyMoppings · 27/02/2019 20:13

Not surprised the OP hasn't been back. Some unpleasant posts on this thread. She's been insulted and patronised over several demanding aggressive pages.

Brambieblue · 27/02/2019 20:20

He needs to go. Did you take a reference for him . I wonder how he got on at his last tenancy

Twisique · 27/02/2019 20:24

Has he put cameras in you house with the new 'doorbell/alarms'?

NotBeforeCoffee · 27/02/2019 20:24

I would get a TV for the lodgers room so that after you’ve evicted this idiot it’ll be clear to the next one they they are not welcome to hog the living room

NotStressedOut · 27/02/2019 21:03

Get the locks changed and put his stuff on the doorstep. Get rid of the alarms and check he hasn’t put cameras in the rooms.

tessieandoz · 27/02/2019 21:14

I have had various lodgers over the past 5 years. Some just don't fit in and I have found that a quick chat usually leads to agreement that it is not working.

dragonsfire · 27/02/2019 21:18

Tell him it’s not going to work out.

In the future make it clear it’s a room to rent NOT a house share - shared areas are bathroom and kitchen as in shelves and to cook but not living room if the room is big enough for a sofa then shouldn’t be an issue.

He is used to a house share and you are after a lodger who rents a room!

Catmum26 · 27/02/2019 21:27

off topic where the f are you people living who are only paying £350-£400 for 3 bed houses with gardens and driveways?! i live in a small 2 bed house with a garage and garden and pay £925 and that is cheap for round here and i’m not in or near a city or an affluent area!

Mumphineasandferbmadea · 27/02/2019 21:42

@Catmum26 I was thinking the same I live in a three bed council flat and its £700 pm. Non council 3 beds are over £1000pm.

Original poster
scrabbled · 27/02/2019 21:49

Not disappeared from the thread, just working late then went out for dinner so haven't had a chance to reply.

I've just got home and... the protein is gone from the kitchen! There are no mirrors and the doorbell has been removed... lodger is in his room watching tv.

OP posts:
EeeSheWasThin · 27/02/2019 21:52

Thank god you’re ok! I’ve just read the whole thread and was panicking a little when I got to the end and you’d not been back!

I think you still spell things out a bit...good luck.

SaucyJack · 27/02/2019 21:53

Maybe he’s a secret Mumsnetter?

Sounds like progress.

RockinHippy · 27/02/2019 21:54

Great result Scrabble hopefully he's talked about he situation to someone & realised he was taking the pee. Though it would be perfectly understandable if you feels the situation isn't working for you & need him still to leave

Dreamzcancometrue · 27/02/2019 21:55

Result?

Yabbers · 27/02/2019 22:00

Just like that??

cstaff · 27/02/2019 22:05

The first thing that occurred to me was that he was on here reading about himself. It is very outing. Well done OP. Great result. Hopefully it works out.

PrestonsFlowers · 27/02/2019 22:06

That's a great update op, It's good to know you are still here and not the victim of a mad axe man. I do hope your situation improves although it probably would be a good idea to get another lodger

SleepWarrior · 27/02/2019 22:06

He's clearly a mumsnetter and found this thread. Result!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.