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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New lodger taking over my house!!!

496 replies

scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:08

Ahhh not sure if I'm being unreasonable as my last lodger kept himself very to himself and I know I was lucky.

New lodger moved in Saturday, but I was away.

He is taking over my house!!

  • has installed a doorbell with alarms all over the house without asking me
  • keeps his bedroom door open whilst blaring out rubbish heavy metal music
  • has filled all available work spaces with protein and supplements and squeezed my stuff onto a tiny shelf
  • stays up until the early hours watching tv in he living room and refusing to turn it down.
  • kept his keys in the door so that when I got home from work I was locked out, as he was in the shower.

I've just been sitting quietly eating dinner and he has come in and turned on the TV and started watching something.

AIBU here? And if I'm not how do I tell him where the boundaries are?

OP posts:
Mumoflove · 27/02/2019 18:18

He needs to go. Find a new one and tell them the rules from before they move in. Next!!!!

vulvacious · 27/02/2019 18:18

Has a mirror appeared whilst you've been at work OP?

exaltedwombat · 27/02/2019 18:18

I somehow missed the part where you had a chat with him about all this. What happened?

Hellbentwellwent · 27/02/2019 18:18

Years ago I took in a lodger and he turned out to be horrific. He argued with me about wanting my room after he moved into the smaller spare. I actually couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth.... he felt totally within his right to expect me to move out of my own bedroom and give it to him despite the fact that I owned the house??? Wanker, ended up having to put a lock on my bedroom door as I found out he’d been in my room going through stuff. Was so glad the day he left

riceuten · 27/02/2019 18:19

Sit down with him and lay down the law as to

a) access
b) noise
c) storage space

My guess is he will throw the towel in and move out.

EnglishRose13 · 27/02/2019 18:20

@Hellbentwellwent

What was his justification for deserving your room instead??

ToftyAC · 27/02/2019 18:25

Please let us know what happens OP

EllenMP · 27/02/2019 18:28

Kick him out now. This will only get worse.

RockinHippy · 27/02/2019 18:35

Some replies her are a bit ott, the guy might be cheeky & massively over stepping boundaries, but he's very unlikely to be an axe murderer.

I'm no push over & I would really struggle to live with someone who'd disrespected me so much when first moving in. That does not bode well at all & though I could easily stand up to him on my own, but I just would not want that sort of hassle in my personal space

His rights are minimal as I'm sure you know, so he's either misunderstood & thinks he's a tenant in a house Share, or he is a bully who thinks he can ride rough shod over you.

I would sit him down & tell him that...

he has overstepped the Mark by making changes to your property without your consent (alarms/doorbells)

Refusing to stick to rules already laid down re his allowed kitchen storage space, refusing to correct his mistake when asked. (Dump that shit in his room)

His loud music with door open isn't acceptable in a closely shared space, will disturb the neighbours & has already disturbed you. (Headphones you antisocial fuckwit)

Turning the TV on in a room where you are sat quietly eating, & isn't really intended as shared space, without the normal politeness of asking if you mind, is at best bad mannered & unacceptable.

Etc etc

Personally I'd give him notice, but be very clear that he sticks to very clear rules between now & his leave date, otherwise you will be forced to reassess & hell need to leave sooner.

Good luck, I hope it goes well

RockinHippy · 27/02/2019 18:39

Sorry, should have added. .... make him remove alarms etc & make good. I'd do this on principle to reassert your ownership of the property

juleswatford · 27/02/2019 18:39

Can I make a suggestion. Get rid of him and the next time have some house rules, a contract of sorts, for your next lodger. Also if you having someone come into your house ask for references and get them checked out. You are putting yourself in a vulnerable situation and you need to know about them. Also it could be worst! you could come home and find that you house has been cleared out. I don't want to frighten you, but seriously another thing to consider is identity theft.

RockinHippy · 27/02/2019 18:39

& if he's arsey at all, he can go NOW!!

RockinHippy · 27/02/2019 18:45

Also it could be worst! you could come home and find that you house has been cleared out.

Good point Jules, I actually know someone whose lodger did that. Loaded up a removal truck with a lot of expensive furniture whilst she was out at work after they asked them to leave after similar problems & non payment a few weeks later. He never saw any of it again ☹️

Summer448 · 27/02/2019 18:46

I had similar problem the 1st day it was just a young girl at my house the 2nd day she had the boyfriend stay 3rd and 4th day he had basically moved in and taken over just like you by the 4th they were both gone 😊 not worth the extra bit of money, get rid of him !! Good luck .

Motoko · 27/02/2019 19:02

@scrabbled how are things today?

Loreleigh · 27/02/2019 19:16

Boot him out and get a new, reasonable lodger - this one is clearly a first-class CF and trying to take over YOUR house...I'd evict him immediately and let him know why.

Mothership4two · 27/02/2019 19:17

Get him out asap. If he has started immediately with such unreasonable behaviour, he is going to be trouble! I expect he is going to make it difficult for you, so stick to your guns and get some back-up if need be.

Good luck

Bellasorellaa · 27/02/2019 19:18

Way to much he thinks he’s your son

twofingerstoEverything · 27/02/2019 19:24

The law has changed to protect vulnerable tenants, but unfortunately it now protects people like him. While he is in situ and within contract it is very difficult if he decides he doesn't want to go.

WilWisbey Lodgers are 'excluded occupiers'. If the 'law has changed' please can you provide a link or something to verify this?

Kenny33 · 27/02/2019 19:29

This is exactly why I would never have a male lodger. They are mostly men that no other woman wants to live with ie as a wife or girlfriend.

Tistheseason17 · 27/02/2019 19:30

YANBU
Hope he hoes nicely and check for cameras..

Kenny33 · 27/02/2019 19:31

Haven’t had time to read the full thread yet, but you can ask the police to come round while you evict him, if you are feeling threatened or intimidated.

ZenNudist · 27/02/2019 19:34

.

di2004 · 27/02/2019 19:37

.. after reading all this, I think you know the answer.. get rid. Preferably asap.

Jazz50 · 27/02/2019 19:37

You obviously find it tricky being assertive. However I dont, and would be more than happy to have a word for you!! However if you dont say something now, he will continue to take the p..s. Did you interview him and state any rules?? He sounds like a complete N.b!!

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