To be really disappointed on behalf of my daughter

[vinnipokh]

First post and a bit long but feeling really hacked off with parents at school. My dd is in yr5. At the start of yr 6 they take them on a residential trip for 5 days. The cost if this is about £450. A lot of money for some, but most people in the school are in work and you know it's coming so you can save up. We had to let the school know last year for rough numbers and so they could see if the trip was viable. After they got rough numbers we had the itinerary and deposit was to be paid by end Jan.

They had 9 kids paying deposits. The school was v. calm and extended the deadline, a few more signed up. Still not enough to make the trip viable. School renegotiated the trip and cut a day, to make it cheaper with new deadline of end of half term.

We had an email last night, saying they still haven't got enough kids so the trip won't go ahead. My dd will be so disappointed. She was really looking forward to travelling with classmates and staying in a hotel with them. My ds did this 2yrs ago and had a brilliant time.

A quick chat with some of the parents revealed that there seems to be various weak reasons for not going like, "so and so isn't going so my lo won't go" or "I am worried about the food" or "terrorism". I am so p***d off about the apathy on the parents part that all the kids are now not having a residential trip. AIBU?

YABVU - 1. £450 is very expensive for some. 2. A week away from parents is too young for some year 5 (9-10 years old) children, both in terms of being home sick and food, sleeping habits (e.g. lights on/off, not having a parent to discuss arguments they had, etc). IMO 3-4 days should be the longest trip away for primary school children in year 6 (lower for lower years) 3. It may do your daughter good that we can't always get what we want.

My daughter had a trip in year 6 for a similar amount of money and yes we did pay for her to go but it was difficult even with both myself and my husband working full time as we had a lot of outgoing costs at the time. I agree with the others that they might not have wanted to state they couldn’t afford it. It is a shame as the children do have lots of fun with their classmates on these trips. Perhaps the school will look to facilitate something cheaper in a few months time so that the children don’t miss out completely.

@sighrollseyes how do you get a week at centre parcs for 4 for 470? We’ve never been but I thought it was much more than that.

Did you not explain to your DD that is wasn't a certainty?

That's very expensive. Ours is 200. I have twins and would not want to spend £1000 on a school trip!

why don't you arrange for daughter and a few of her friends to spend a couple of nights somewhere with yourself and another adult to supervise?

We could afford it but I'd still think twice - our food bill is £350 a month, by comparison. What this has shown you is that the demographic of the school is not as well-off as you'd thought - things are very difficult financially for a lot of people at the moment, food costs going up etc, and that's before you get to people who have twins/siblings close together/secondary outings to think of.

YABU.. So they've decided for what ever reason that their children aren't going, that's up to them. And it is a lot of money, even for working people

My DS is going on his Y6 trip in July. It's 2 nights on a local campsite at a cost of £45 each because the school want as many children as possible to go. I'm glad I won't have to find hundreds of pounds (and DH and I do both work). I'm pleased that DS will get to spend the time with all of his classmates not just those who can afford it.

YANBU to be disappointed that your daughter won't get the trip that was planned. It's a shame the school have not considered a much cheaper alternative. They may have been doing the trip ‘for years’ but money doesn't go as far these days.

Sounds to me like the other parents don't want to say "We can't afford it" so have said other excuses. It's a hell of a lot about money that could go along way towards a family holiday.

I wouldn't pay it either!.

But I don’t think there’s an option to opt out.
Of course there is. They can’t insist your child goes on a school trip.

My kids had a trip on the end of year 6. My youngest was a bit nervous to go. So I'd think in year 5 it will be the case for even more kids. So maybe try and help the school organize a trip for next year you might have lots more takers

Sorry just realised that the trip would be in year 6. Disregard previous post.

I agree with other posters, it is a lot of money.
We declined a school trip for DD for similar amount. As did many other parents. The school managed to organise a similar trip for. £200 - ok it's 3 nights instead of 5. They go clamping instead of sleeping in a house. But they still have 2 full days of outdoor activities. And it's more local, about 30mins up the road .... all simple ways to make trips affordable!

10/11 year olds don’t need residential trips and I wouldn’t want my DS to be away for that long.

Also, the cost seems high. We’re well off, so affordability wouldn’t be the issue, but I’d prefer to spend the money on other experiences for DS

How? Tell me about it. Presumably in school holidays. We’ve been 3x and it cost CONSIDERABLY more than that. My children were teenagers so 10-15 years ago

When my dd was in high school she went on a school ski trip and exchanges to both France and Spain. She made friends with Spanish girl and went to Spain when she was 17 to stay with her again. Very nice Spanish girl came to us twice more too. When ds1 was in high school every time a trip was announced we sent in deposit, not enough kids to make ski trip viable and he was gutted and then not enough German children wanted to do exchange so English children studying German had names picked out of a hat, ds1 name not picked. I felt really sorry for him but nothing we could do, just unfortunate. We ended up having to go to Germany one holiday so he could get a chance to practice his German. Skiing does not appeal to my dh or I so he missed out on that. Ds2 did get to go to Germany on exchange and a two week trip kayaking in France and ending in Euro Disney. It was just that ds1 year seemed not to ever get enough children to make trip viable. My ds1 is now an adult and I thought he had forgotten about it but one day he just commented that he was of skiing as a child. Sorry your dd is missing out but maybe she will get to do something else in High School.

Wow £450 for a year 6 residential trip is very expensive! I now truly appreciate that our primary school did 4 nights for £180! They did horse riding, canoeing, caving, high ropes, orienting up a mountain and numerous other outdoor pursuits. How on earth was yours so expensive? We could never have afforded that!

Centre Parcs is expensive during the school holidays but booked a year in advance outside of school hols £300-£400 depending on the type of accommodation you pick. Have a look on the centre Parcs website for prices.
Also cheap last minute.

Ridiculous amount to pay. Lots of parents would not be able to afford that. Especially if they have more than one child. Put your child in the scout movement. They have fun each week and regular camping trips as well as organised activities. Much cheaper and fantastic opportunities for the children. They make life long friends. My son has 3 children and he has now become a scout leader. It teaches them respect, gives them confidence. We have 3 very happy we’ll adjusted GD’s.

Baring in mind that when I was at school we couldn't even afford a weekend away in a caravan park 20 miles up the road, there's no way on earth my mother would have found £450 for just one of us to go away for a School trip. OP you are aware that a large amount of the people having to use food banks just to survive our actually in work right?? you're not being unreasonable being disappointed for her. You are being massively unreasonable in your reaction to the situation and the fact that others simply either cannot or will not fork out so much for a school trip!!

You can feel disappointed your dd isn’t going but don’t make judgements about other families . I was talking to a friend about a week scout camp. She said if her dc went they couldn’t afford the family holiday so an obvious choice for her . She wouldn’t share that on the play ground though

If you want your daughter to have the experience, you can take her yourself: the adventure provider, e.g. PGL, Kingswood, offer family weeks or weekends for family groups, so maybe price that alone or in conjunction with the other parents who wanted the trip? Or see if the school can find a cheaper location/ shorter duration? They obviously exist, as many other schools seem to have found them. Is there a reason your school is tied to this location?

What's the purpose of the trip? Perhaps that is being seen as not important. The cost is also high. Could your DD and some of her friends organise a week at an activity camp in the holidays. They are usually well supervised.

At least your daughter is fortunate she has family who are able to spend that sort of money on a trip, I'd feel more sorry for those who can't to be honest. I'm sure there will be other opportunities for her you can pay for in future.