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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really disappointed on behalf of my daughter

216 replies

vinnipokh · 26/02/2019 03:59

First post and a bit long but feeling really hacked off with parents at school. My dd is in yr5. At the start of yr 6 they take them on a residential trip for 5 days. The cost if this is about £450. A lot of money for some, but most people in the school are in work and you know it's coming so you can save up. We had to let the school know last year for rough numbers and so they could see if the trip was viable. After they got rough numbers we had the itinerary and deposit was to be paid by end Jan.

They had 9 kids paying deposits. The school was v. calm and extended the deadline, a few more signed up. Still not enough to make the trip viable. School renegotiated the trip and cut a day, to make it cheaper with new deadline of end of half term.

We had an email last night, saying they still haven't got enough kids so the trip won't go ahead. My dd will be so disappointed. She was really looking forward to travelling with classmates and staying in a hotel with them. My ds did this 2yrs ago and had a brilliant time.

A quick chat with some of the parents revealed that there seems to be various weak reasons for not going like, "so and so isn't going so my lo won't go" or "I am worried about the food" or "terrorism". I am so p***d off about the apathy on the parents part that all the kids are now not having a residential trip. AIBU?

OP posts:
adulthumanwolf · 26/02/2019 06:45

Paying for this would mean no holiday for us at all that year.

And we're on fairly average salaries. I would expect most people couldn't just pull £450 out of their arse without making sacrifices for the rest of the year, and I wouldn't be willing to do that.

ChocChocButtons · 26/02/2019 06:47

It is disappointing and a shame. But that’s a lot of money to some. And they perhaps aren’t in a position to save much money. Life is expensive.

NanooCov · 26/02/2019 06:48

Yabu. If I was a parent at the school I would be unlikely to tell you I was unable to afford it. So my "excuse" might be weak to you.

Our school's PTA raises a lot of money through the year to subsidise these sorts of trips. If you were that bothered you could do something similar.

GreenOliveOrBlackOlive · 26/02/2019 06:49

£450 would actually stretch a lot further to go somewhere else with their own family

Yes exactly. Many school trips (particularly senior school ones Hmm) are so expensive and in our case would have meant no family holiday at all. And larger families or those with twins will be juggling financially elsewhere.

And just because people work or are giving what you consider ‘weak’ reasons for not going.. well maybe they don’t wish to say to someone questioning them in the playground the real reason, which is we simply cannot afford it.

Fazackerley · 26/02/2019 06:50

450 is a lot. Why don't you try and research cheaper options?

meorhim20 · 26/02/2019 06:50

that's a huge amount of money. I am surprised anybody has put a deposit down.

and being in work does not mean you can just save up for it. You seem to live a very sheltered existence, OP, if £450 for a school trip aren't an issue for you.

implantsandaDyson · 26/02/2019 06:52

Even if other parents had months to save - a residential trip for a primary school aged child costing £450 would be so far down the list of things we would like.
That's more expensive than what I'm paying for a week's rental of a house for our summer holiday. There's only nine kids in the school that are going to pay the deposit - that should be a lesson for the school. Big trips like that just aren't viable for most families.

Anique105 · 26/02/2019 06:53

Seriously? Well boohoo for you. Get over yourself, that is alot of money for some people who might budget that for their family holiday. You're annoyed because your child doesnt get a trip. Honestly some people!

HoraceCope · 26/02/2019 06:54

I suggest she joins the scouts. IME they go away for a week and it is far cheaper

bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/02/2019 06:54

We are lucky to have no day to day money worries but I would not have paid £450.00 for a Y6 residential trip. I would have said to my dd that I was sorry but she wouldn't be going. That's not apathy on my part, it's thinking about what something is worth and whether I want to buy it or not.

CouldBeAnyoneReally · 26/02/2019 06:56

Tbh the school are at fault here not the parents and their “apathy”. £450 is crazy. Our residential is three days/two nights and £130. Plus there’s always costs associated with going depending on the type of trip - we had to buy hiking boots etc.

It’s a shame your dd is disappointed but it’s a good opportunity to talk about other people being less fortunate then she is for example. And also neither of my dc would have wanted to go if their friends weren’t going either and at 10 I can’t think that’s unusual.

YABVU.

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 26/02/2019 06:59

If you are really disappointed, get together with those who can afford it and send them to a PGL camp after they finish school for summer.

clarrylove · 26/02/2019 07:01

Agree the school are at fault. £450 is ridiculous. There are much cheaper alternatives.

Seniorschoolmum · 26/02/2019 07:01

Yabu. £450 is a lot of money for a school trip.

picklemepopcorn · 26/02/2019 07:01

Join one of the uniformed groups like Girls association or scouts that takes kids away camping.

And book her on PGL.

Easy.

Ragwort · 26/02/2019 07:14

I can see it is slightly disappointing for your DD but it’s a useful life skill to learn, that sometimes you can be looking forward to something & it doesn’t work out as you might have wished.

But as a PP said, you can explore other options, Scouting and Guiding have camps and residential trips at a fraction of the cost (I ran Cub camps for years Grin,)or there are PGL holidays and similar like them. You could take your DD and a friend youth hosteling for a few days?

The cost does seem very high, my sixth form DS has just done an overseas school trip, including flights, and that was less.

Curlyshabtree · 26/02/2019 07:18

£450! Blimey! That seems a lot. What if, like me you have twins or more? My dts Y5 week long residential was free and the Y6 one of 3 days/2 nights was £50.
Sorry your dd had to miss out.

Petalflowers · 26/02/2019 07:18

I agree, I think the cost is putting people off.

I’ve just looked at the school my dcs used to go to. They’re offering a three day trip for £115. Even if you double that, it’s still half the cost of your trip.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/02/2019 07:19

I’d love to know how a poster got a week at centre parc for £420 Shock

Callistone · 26/02/2019 07:20

We both work. Money's not tight . But £450 is a lot of money and not much less than we pay for a cottage rental in the UK for a family holiday! We'd be hard pressed to come up with that for just one DC, and it would mean cutting back on other things.

If a family on a good income think that would be hard, no wonder a lot of people are saying no!

Springwalk · 26/02/2019 07:20

YABVU

It is a school trip. It is a fortune, the cost of a UK family holiday. You are showing a distinct lack of empathy for other families, just because they work does not mean they can afford to pay this amount for a school trip.

Really you need to be teaching your child to understand the possible reasons for the cancellation, rather than focusing on the fact the won't be going. If you are that worried, organise a family trip to the same place.

Transpeaked · 26/02/2019 07:20

£10/week for a school residential is a lot of money for many.

It’s a shame but it is what it is.

PositiveVibez · 26/02/2019 07:21

Yabvvvvu.

Absolutely no empathy at all. Not 'what a shame not everyone can pay nearly £500 (incidentally more than our caravnning holiday this year which we have already starting saving for) fot a school holiday', but a bratty 'BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CHILD'.

Extremely self centred.

spicygirl26 · 26/02/2019 07:21

Not a chance could I pull out £450 for one child to go on a five day trip. That would mean we would go without a family summer holiday that year and with three children, that just wouldn't be fair.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/02/2019 07:21

Was just thinking the same, BigSandyBalls (made myself smile typing that out Grin ).