To be really disappointed on behalf of my daughter

[vinnipokh]

First post and a bit long but feeling really hacked off with parents at school. My dd is in yr5. At the start of yr 6 they take them on a residential trip for 5 days. The cost if this is about £450. A lot of money for some, but most people in the school are in work and you know it's coming so you can save up. We had to let the school know last year for rough numbers and so they could see if the trip was viable. After they got rough numbers we had the itinerary and deposit was to be paid by end Jan.

They had 9 kids paying deposits. The school was v. calm and extended the deadline, a few more signed up. Still not enough to make the trip viable. School renegotiated the trip and cut a day, to make it cheaper with new deadline of end of half term.

We had an email last night, saying they still haven't got enough kids so the trip won't go ahead. My dd will be so disappointed. She was really looking forward to travelling with classmates and staying in a hotel with them. My ds did this 2yrs ago and had a brilliant time.

A quick chat with some of the parents revealed that there seems to be various weak reasons for not going like, "so and so isn't going so my lo won't go" or "I am worried about the food" or "terrorism". I am so p***d off about the apathy on the parents part that all the kids are now not having a residential trip. AIBU?

However, as a cub leader, I have noticed an increasing ‘apathy’ from parents to send their children on camp, and camp is very cheap, with financial help offered. We used to get almost all the pack going, up to 30 children. Now we struggle to get a dozen. Parents are definitely more reluctant these days to let their children go off and have adventures. They worry about the food, the cold, the homesickness, the activities, the accommodation, even the fact their child might not brush their teeth. They make their child anxious, and it becomes a vicious circle.

Honestly, I understand a reluctance. There's been so much in the news about historical abuses from those who are looking after children at these places.

Look at the US gymnastics team. It's a worry lately, sending a child off under the supervision of adults.

Absolutely ridiculous cost for the average person. £450? The school needs to get its head out of its arse and organise something more affordable for the parents!!

Our Yr 6 trip was £450. 90 children in the year and I'd say maybe 3 or 4 didn't go? We were told a year in advance. The kids had an amazing time so it felt worth it to me, however I do blame the schools in this situation putting this onto parents. That along with the endless smaller trips, dress up days, charity donations etc etc I think they think we've all got a money tree in the garden!

I think it's a shame the school didn't consider making it a local 2-day residential instead, at probably a 3rd of the cost. I can understand how disappointed your daughter is. From what you say it looked doomed from the start if only 9 deposits came in. The school should have made something work for everyone.

It went up this year to £250 from 180-200 this year for Primary school trip.

Previous school did year4 -200, year 5 350-400 yr 6 -£600. twice we'd have had to find £850 and that was more than we were spending on a family holiday.

This year I have/will pay out - 250 + 250-300 + 580 with additional expenses for three children - next year will be worse plus at end I'll have another secondary school uniform to get.

Plus smaller day trips and end of term reward trip wich is £60 are still happening - I've got two this year so £120 just before summer hoildays.

They've had a few pull out of my eldest’s trip to France - losing the deposit - I think people are getting worried about work and finances and Britex and travel.

£450!!! That's so much money. Perhaps parents came up with other reasons to spare themselves the embarrassment of admitting they can't afford it.

so we have tightened our belts enable her to go.
This is so wrong. Nobody should have to tighten their belt in order for their children to participate in education. If schools want expensive trips, they need to set aside more money for parents who struggle to pay. If they can’t do that they need to stop the trips.

residential trips are so important
They really aren’t. Lots of places don’t do them and it’s no hindrance to a child’s education not to have one. They are fun, and are a great experience but they don’t rise to the level of “so important”. The only way these could be considered worthwhile is that they may allow some children to take part in activities they wouldn’t normally get the chance to do because their family can’t afford it. But they are so expensive as school trips, often those children can’t go.

My point it, why say you are going to do it ( this must have been more than 35 kids/ parents handing forms in ) and then say baulk at the cost?. I realise that some cannot afford it, but then would have been the time to say not 2 months later
Have you ever been in the situation where someone suggested something and you though you’d like to do it, but when you thought more about it realised it was a no go? Life gets in the way sometimes. YANBU to feel your daughter’s disappointment but instead ot bleating about how other families have let your girl down, why not use it to teach her that some people are less well off than you. And that means that even having enough notice they can’t always find money to put away to save.

Presumably the cost was mentioned in the initial letter. In that case, signing up and then backing out is poor form.

There was a very expensive trip at dd's school (secondary) and masses of parents signed their kids up. It was stressed again and again that the cost was x and that after a certain date it was non-refundable. Still there were parents at the last minute who wanted to pull their dcs out and creating a stink about wanting a refund.

I remember at the meeting in advance of dd's (cheap) residential in yr 6 that there were parents who whined about everything: what food there might be, the fact that mobile phones weren't allowed, what the bedtimes were...

pta and school council do fundraising throughout the year for the year 6 trip

I think the PTA at DC first primary school helped some poorer families out with trips - current school they struggle to make much money at all to help with anything ( I know as I've been involved) and it's getting worse and belts get tightened even more.

Haven't read the whole thread.

My dd primary school organised a farm trip for five days for one January (£450) then an outbound style break in the isle of wight for another £500 the following September after they returned from the summer holidays. We couldn't afford both. Dd went to the farm trip. The school really struggled to fill the isle of wight trip, simply because families couldn't find the money. We got letter after letter asking us to send DD on the second trip until I emailed back saying we couldn't fund it. Eventually they filled the second trip, but I knew the school found it difficult to sell.

Omg so expensive! DS went on his year 6 trip this year it cost me £110 for 3 days.
YANBU though to feel disappointed for your DD, she will have been looking forward to this event for her whole school life I imagine.

We are currently still finalising our residential and so have so far only taken a £20 deposit fron parents. We always aim to keep our 5 day trip under £200 and for that have always stayed 4+ hours away from school and visited tourist attractions and theme parks. The kids are more excited about bunkbeds and making their sandwiches every day than anything else though! I would be asking the school to sort something cheaper ASAP as there is still time.

Growing up is learning to deal with disappointment.

It's so expensive! I wouldn't have paid out.

My kids are going to Snowdonia for 10 days with scouts. £275. Even the trips abroad haven't been over £500. And they're usually 2 weeks long!

I know which one I'd rather spend money on.

As a family of 3 we are just off a 4 day city break in budapest that cost less that that...

I’m an advocate for such trips, but that is an awful lot of money. I have run similar trips but have always tried to keep them below £250, even then I am fully aware it’s a big ask and out of reach of many of our parents

YABVU

Jesus wept, it's threads like this that make me realise just how far up their own backsides some people live.

Most people work? So what! Know what everyone's incoming and outgoings are then do you inspector? You really think that Emily's mum is going to tell you that actually, they now find themselves living hand to mouth and can just about pay the bills? You think Harry's dad is going to tell you that having to buy that new tyre for his work van this week means that he can only work local for the next 2 weeks because he can't afford petrol for 50 mile trips. They may have been in different financial places when they signed up for it, god help the poor buggers that inadvertently find themselves having to give up work due to bad health/disabilities, no, get them back in work to fund the trips!

I take it you've worked your arse off fundraising to help out the peasants who don't work hard enough? Put on entertainment evenings, car washes, car boots, cake sales.

Goady bastard threads like this give me the absolute rage. Head out of arse op ffs!

£450 is a hell of a lot of money.

DDs residential next year is £150 for 3 nights. We've just found out today that there weren't enough kids signed up so they won't be able to run it. 4 kids short apparently!

I find it genuinely upsetting that people can be so mean spirited about families who cannot afford to send their children on trips.

Obviously they'd love to - I would have loved to go when I was younger but we didn't have enough money for a family holiday let alone additional ones, despite both working hard. My parents felt awful when classmates were on trips and I sat in the classroom with children in a similar situation but even then I understood.

This is real life - explain to your daughter that we must be kind to people in a different situation, not pissed off with them. That amount of money simply cannot be "saved" by a struggling family - sometimes there is nothing to save from, if rent food and bills add up to your wage!

Presumably your child will still get the opportunity to travel with you, just not with school. That's lovely and again lots of families would love to have holidays together but aren't able to financially.

It's not apathy on their part but worth you having a think about some empathy.

I know it won't be exactly the same but maybe you could send your DD on a similar independent trip over the summer. PGL do some great last minute 50% off offers over the summer holidays. I sent my daughter away on a residential multi activity holiday for a week 2 summers ago for less than half the price of your schools trip - maybe you could get together with a few of the people who had the means to pay for the trip and get a group together.

YABVU. Even with a few months notice we would really struggle to save £450 for a school trip! That's a months food and petrol money for my household.

How did you manage centre parcs for £429 rollseyes

Fuck that. I’m not short of money but I still wouldn’t pay £450 for one kid to go on a jolly. You can hire a cottage in the lakes for the full family for that!

@Worzelgummidge maybe using some of these tips? www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheap-center-parcs/

My kids have just been skiing for 7 days all inclusive for 580€ so your trip is massively expensive unless it involves international travel.

7 day school trip to Spain is 440€. With flights etc all inclusive. They do leave and get back at silly o'clock though

Yabu to think it's just apathy. You've a quasi decent point wrt people saying they were interested and then not going. In some of those cases the financial circumstances may have worsened since then meaning they can no longer afford it, but it would've been better all round if this problem had been identified last summer. If its abroad could also be Brexit related, which would be understandable. People may have said yes expecting things to be resolved by now.

Honestly though, £450 is a lot for this type of thing. Asking for trouble to have such an expensive trip.

I'd also echo the posters who say the increasing reluctance to send kids overnight is probably at least slightly related to recent abuse revelations. For better or for worse.