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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really disappointed on behalf of my daughter

216 replies

vinnipokh · 26/02/2019 03:59

First post and a bit long but feeling really hacked off with parents at school. My dd is in yr5. At the start of yr 6 they take them on a residential trip for 5 days. The cost if this is about £450. A lot of money for some, but most people in the school are in work and you know it's coming so you can save up. We had to let the school know last year for rough numbers and so they could see if the trip was viable. After they got rough numbers we had the itinerary and deposit was to be paid by end Jan.

They had 9 kids paying deposits. The school was v. calm and extended the deadline, a few more signed up. Still not enough to make the trip viable. School renegotiated the trip and cut a day, to make it cheaper with new deadline of end of half term.

We had an email last night, saying they still haven't got enough kids so the trip won't go ahead. My dd will be so disappointed. She was really looking forward to travelling with classmates and staying in a hotel with them. My ds did this 2yrs ago and had a brilliant time.

A quick chat with some of the parents revealed that there seems to be various weak reasons for not going like, "so and so isn't going so my lo won't go" or "I am worried about the food" or "terrorism". I am so p***d off about the apathy on the parents part that all the kids are now not having a residential trip. AIBU?

OP posts:
Mmmmbrekkie · 26/02/2019 05:50

Has it seriously not occurred to you that people are making excuses because you have put them on the spot. When the reality is perhaps either they can’t afford it OR their own child isn’t at all bothered about going

Mmmmbrekkie · 26/02/2019 05:50

I hope you don’t pass this kind of “well I want therefore I should get” attitude on to your daughter

Mmmmbrekkie · 26/02/2019 05:51

@enidalton

Not being able to afford £450 for one child for a couple of nights is not an indication that one is living “hand to mouth” Hmm

JenniferJareau · 26/02/2019 05:52

The cost if this is about £450. A lot of money for some, but most people in the school are in work and you know it's coming so you can save up.

Maybe they want to save up for a family holiday instead?

HennyPennyHorror · 26/02/2019 05:55

Those "weak excuses" are probably covers for the fact that they simply can't afford it.

It's a stupid amount of money! Many families struggle to pay less than that for a weekend in a caravan by the sea! The thought of paying almost half a grand on a child's school excursion is ridiculous.

lalaloopyhead · 26/02/2019 05:58

It is quite a lot of money, does it seem good value for what they do? You've got to appreciate that is quite a lot of money and maybe the best part of a family holiday budget for some.

Also however weak their reasons are, they are valid to the person giving them - I can't imagine anyone is going to not let their child go just to annoy you. My DD3 didn't want to go on her y6 trip, she gets anxious staying away from home and also wouldn't enjoy a lot of the physical activities on offer (canoeing etc). I do try and encourage her but at the end of the day I am not going to make her go to make up the numbers to make sure others can.

someoneseatenmyapple · 26/02/2019 06:04

£450 is a lot of money and like others have said, I'd rather not share that I couldn't justify spending that amount. Perhaps it's time for the school to find cheaper alternatives. I'm sure our year 6 residential on the Isle of Wight was half that.

Goposie · 26/02/2019 06:07

All the above. My dc year rice trio was nearly 400 for five nights. I let her go because most other kids were but it was a massive dent in my budget and I would much rather spend that money on a family holiday. There must be far cheaper shorter or camping alternatives.

Yerroblemom1923 · 26/02/2019 06:07

Fortunately ours is "only" £200 for the year 6s (just 3 days though) but it's still a lot of money for some, us included (and yes we work!). However I wouldn't want my dd to miss out on the opportunity so we have tightened our belts enable her to go.
I think your school should've re-thought the activity holiday/cost when they realised the majority of parents couldn't afford to send their kids.

stillpinching · 26/02/2019 06:10

Think enidalton is being deliberately goady - no one can be that stupid...

QueenOfCatan · 26/02/2019 06:11

That's extortionate. And most of what we would spend on a family holiday! Even sending the kids to pgl alone is cheaper. What on earth are they up to for 4 days for that money?!

slipperywhensparticus · 26/02/2019 06:14

There is massive financial insecurity in this economy yabu

BlueWonder · 26/02/2019 06:15

Our Y6 trip was £280 for 4 nights/5 days. Coach travel, UK and stayed in hostels/outdoor centres but all activities/visits to tourist places/museums were teacher led, not adventure type needing expensive instructors. This must have kept the cost down. It was still a lot of money to find and parents may be thinking of expense of secondary school uniform and often a Y7 welcome trip expected in the autumn. Y6 to Y7 transition often means 2 residentials to pay for in same year plus uniform. Parents with more than one child might have other residentiala to pay for too.

Thankfully our secondary cut the Y7 residential down to one night/2 days for that reason and used a small scout type camping centre. It was about 10 miles from school, parents were asked to drop children off themselves/liftshare between 8-9 am on Thursday and pick up 3-4 pm Friday. In between they had games, treasure hunts etc all just coordinated by the teachers, plus a visit from an ice cream van. This cost about £35 per child. The school said they used to have a 2-3 night residential at an outdoor centre costing a couple of hundred pounds but though condidered a relatively affluent area, less than half of the year group were going along. As it was meant for bonding they decided to make it cheaper and now virtually the whole year group signs up and nobody feels excluded. Even so, there was soon the offer of a French trip for the following year at £450 with deposit to be paid by Oct half term.

So I can totally understand parents baulkng at £450 for the Y7 trip.

Can you talk to the school about cheaper alternatives? Like the one night outdoor centre? Or our (state) primary used to do a Y6 camp out and BBQ in the school playing field, held as a treat a few days after SATS. Parents just sent in old/family tents for them to share and volunteered to set them up on Friday pm/take down on Sat pm. Children used the school loos, didn't need showers etc as were collected after breakfast on the Sat am.

Or scouts/guides do a lot of residential stuff and generally much much cheaper than schools. PGL looks really expensive at brochure price but if you can combine with a friend they often have buy one get one free offers and money off vouchers sent through if sign up to the mailing list. They also do very cheap 1 or 2 night residential's for first timers (£99 ish). Maybe you can get 3 or 4 of her friends to book together and start looking forward to that.

Mumphineasandferbmadea · 26/02/2019 06:15

My son's trip is £250 for a week and if it wasn't for my family helping out he wouldn't be going as even though I work I dont have that kind of spare cash. I also have two others to think about too. We aren't exactly hand to mouth just after rent and bills there isn't a huge amount left.

sighrollseyes · 26/02/2019 06:15

I think £450 for a school trip is very expensive and I'm in work and have "spare cash" each month. My week at centre Parcs for the whole family of 4 only cost £429!

BlueWonder · 26/02/2019 06:17

Sorry to post so much.....you can see I do think residentials are so important and schools need to find ways to make them more accessible.Smile

ellesbellesxxx · 26/02/2019 06:19

Shock I was just thinking if that’s the cost of residentials I had better start saving now... I have twins so x that by 2, £900?!?! Our family holiday this year is £600 for a week away!

Deliqueen · 26/02/2019 06:28

That does seem a lot. Our yr 6 whole week PGL trip is £250.We are already putting money aside for our youngest to go next year! As someone above said £600 is our whole family holiday cost this year and we both work.

nos123 · 26/02/2019 06:29

“Most of the parents are in work”

You try living as a family of 3 on £1200 a month and saving for £450! And yes that’s from work. I would never admit that’s the reason my kid can’t go on some trips to other parents though.

SubparOwl · 26/02/2019 06:34

I am so sorry your DD is disappointed.
I think YAB a bit U in that some people couldn't save £450 even with notice as they simply don't have enough spare.
At my DC's school there aren't many and so there is some discretionary funding available so pretty much everyone can go if they want to.
At other schools that may not be the case.

SubparOwl · 26/02/2019 06:35

And yy that some parents might give a different reason to avoid embarrassment.

Ingesw · 26/02/2019 06:36

£450 and 5 nights in year 5, both aspects will be too much much for some parents.

DS will go an a residential in years 4, 5 and 6. Probably 5 nights in total and it will all cost about £500 or £600 overall, but spread over 3 years. I think £450 for one trip is ridiculous.

TryingToBeCheery · 26/02/2019 06:36

My DC have been on a few school trips that cost that much. They spend most of the first and last day on a coach and the remainder in a crappy hotel with dire food. They have a good time but that £450 would actually stretch a lot further to go somewhere else with their own family. Yes, they learn a bit of independence and have a nice time but I don't think it is value for money. My DC have never come back from a trip saying they had a brilliant time and want to go back there.

As a parent, I'd rather they didn't go.

Monty27 · 26/02/2019 06:43

The parents are also paying for the staff and exorbitant insurance within the price. Apart from what others have said above.
It's ridiculous.

CluedoAddict · 26/02/2019 06:43

That is a crazy amount. Our residential was 5 days for £120. You have no idea about other people's financial situations.