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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
Dermymc · 25/02/2019 18:27

That's awful OP and will definitely sour the goodwill from you which is a shame. Raise it with your boss/HR and take it from there.

Newbuild · 25/02/2019 18:30

I’ve always had to take unpaid leave for anything to do with dc.
DPs company would pay. One of his colleagues had a poorly baby recently and they’ve given him full pay for the last 6 months!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 25/02/2019 18:43

I could take it as carer’s leave, but my current boss would probably swing it as nothing if he could.

Hope your DD is ok now Flowers

Fizzyhedgehog · 25/02/2019 18:46

I have 10 days parental sick leave per year. It's paid. DH has the same. Our employer can make a claim and have it paid via our medical insurance, though, as far as I know.
We're both at two different independent schools.

Greyhound22 · 25/02/2019 18:52

I would have just given you the day off but I am allowed to use my discretion.

ScrumptiousBears · 25/02/2019 18:53

I get up to 3 days paid carers leave and 3 days compassionate. Both can be extended at managers discretion.

This was 5 days each but people started taking the piss and using it as entitlement rather than an emergency option when you run into difficulties.

Thing is there are entitled pricks out there who take the piss and ruin it for others.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 25/02/2019 18:56

I was kindly told if I took compassionate leave when they were sick I couldn’t use it again if they died

Words fail me!

Angry
45andahalf · 25/02/2019 18:57

God no. And I work for a massive international company. It does depend on your manager though, with us.

Oysterbabe · 25/02/2019 18:58

Annual or unpaid leave here. When my mum died suddenly I was allowed 2 days of paid leave, one of which was for the funeral.

Chottie · 25/02/2019 19:00

Some of these experiences are just incredible. So many people with hearts of stone........

bluejelly · 25/02/2019 19:01

This is why we need unions.
OP I hope your child gets better soon.

Shelbybear · 25/02/2019 19:01

I work in the public sector. Pretty certain that I would have to take a holiday or use flexi or take it unpaid. It was a one off maybe different if she was going to be in for a while, least I'd hope so!

Grace212 · 25/02/2019 19:02

OP sorry this is happening, all good wishes

the wording in the contract certainly seems unclear - what would they allow under "compassionate leave" is the key question to ask them

re the compassionate leave being used up, I sort of had the same in one place when my mum was hospitalised and we were told she was probably going to die (she didn't, yay).

HR policy was x number of days and my boss actually lied to them about me being off, because she was worried I'd run out of days and end up on unpaid leave if mum died. It was really kind of my boss to fiddle HR like that, I thought. She did it because she'd had it happen before - I think there was 5 days compassionate leave allowed in total or something. So boss actually rang me on 2nd day and said that if I spoke to anyone from HR, I should pretend I was working at home for some reason.

PQ77 · 25/02/2019 19:06

Yes unpaid parental leave or paid annual leave. When my son was in hospital for a third time I DID get some days paid leave but this was at the discretion of HR and certainly not contractually guaranteed. This was at a large law firm with 1000+ partners and staff

RandomMess · 25/02/2019 19:11

My DD was knocked down and taken to A&E, I had to make the time up...

Union confirmed they were technically correct but was utterly gobsmacked!!!

This was a university...

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 19:12

Thank you all for your work’s policies and opinions. It does seem that regardless of private or public sector, small or large company the “rules” vary. I’ve just always been a firm believer that treat your employees well and they will do the same to you. I will happily work in my evenings and check emails on my holiday in return for some flexibility/ understanding from their side.

The handbook’s official line is

“Compassionate leave is designed to help you cope with the death of a close relative, deal with necessary arrangements and attend their funeral. It may also be granted where a close relative is seriously or critically ill.”
I’m wondering whether to raise if this falls under “seriously” ill, or suck it up.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 25/02/2019 19:14

Look at your contract orcontact hr

Fizzforfun · 25/02/2019 19:16

I've had this recently, albeit with my DH & not a child, although I offered to make the time up I was told it could only be dealt with as unpaid emergency leave or AL. After I agreed to unpaid a colleague suggested I should have taken sick leave with worry/stress as at least I would have been paid. Hope all goes well with your Daughter's tests

PtahNeith · 25/02/2019 19:20

I know this is extremely serious to you, but seriously ill is generally understood to be things like cancer or hospitalised for more than overnight observation.

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 19:22

PtahNeith yes I wondered that- thanks

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 25/02/2019 19:23

Hospital admission is srious

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 19:25

Missingstreetlife it’s confusing me this whole serious thing. I would consider an ambulance and oxygen mask on an 18month old serious but maybe I’m bias

OP posts:
clairemcnam · 25/02/2019 19:28

I think it depends on your personal experience with illness for you and your family. I would be worried, but I would not consider this serious. But I have too much experience of hospitals and generally only consider anything life threatening as serious.

BirdieInTheHand · 25/02/2019 19:28

The big corporate I work for would give me as much time as I needed paid.

When I read threads like this I'm so glad I've "sold my sole" to the corporate world.

BarbarianMum · 25/02/2019 19:28

Hospital admissions mean it may be serious. Babies and young children are often admitted for things an older child or adult wouldn't be admitted for, because of difficulties in diagnosis and because they can deteriorate quickly. Better safe than sorry principle.

Hopefully the OPs dd will turn out to be fine and not seriously ill at all.