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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this is unacceptable drunk driving

142 replies

Drunkatthepetrolstation · 24/02/2019 20:39

Name changed for this.

I picked my dp up from having watched the football with his mates in the pub.

Whilst I was there I saw him drink 2 pints and a double vodka. We then went for dinner and he had another pint. So that's 3 pints and a double vodka that I know about and god knows how much before hand. Needless to say he was drunk.

After eating we went to the petrol station and when I went in to pay he moves the car with my 6 year old in it.

Now I think this is totally utterly unacceptable and we will split up over it.

He thinks that whilst he probably shouldn't have done it, my son wasn't in any danger as he drove maybe 15 -20 feet forward in a straight line. From the pump to the parking spaces outside the petrol station.

He thinks I am over reacting. So AIBU and over reacting or is HBU and an absolute fucking idiot.

OP posts:
Dyrne · 24/02/2019 20:42

I would be furious, OP, and the fact he seems to be minimising it would make it even worse to me.

Does he have form for this?

FixTheBone · 24/02/2019 20:43

You are not being unreasonable in being upset

You probably are being unreasonable to split up over it if this is the first and only time hes done anything like this

Yes, he is a fucking idiot.

Original poster
Drunkatthepetrolstation · 24/02/2019 20:44

Exactly he just keeps saying he has been driving for over 20 years and DS was never in any danger.

No he hasn't done this before. Not that I am aware of anyway.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 24/02/2019 20:44

Speak to him when he is sober. There's no point whilst he's drunk.

swapsicles · 24/02/2019 20:44

I'm not sure it's splitting up behaviour but certainly a never do it again moment if it is a single incident.
Has he done similar before or drinks more than he should generally?

Bigonesmallone3 · 24/02/2019 20:46

I would of gone mad at him for being so silly.
Split up over it!
No..
Stupid mistake, thought he was being helpful in his drunken state..
I would never leave my keys in a car attended by only a drunk and a child..

YouBumder · 24/02/2019 20:47

I would be furious but I don’t think I’d split up over it, no.

PengAly · 24/02/2019 20:47

Its a very stupid thing to do and you should have a proper conversation about it with him when he is sober (as its pointless whilst he is drunk) but i honestly think splitting up over it is a huge overreaction unless of course there is more to it...

Lichtie · 24/02/2019 20:48

I think all drunk driving is unacceptable... But I wouldn't be leaving my partner over this if a one off.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 24/02/2019 20:48

Well he clearly can’t cope with drink and he can’t refrain from over drinking. I am sure he will make many many more poor decisions.

BuildingBackUp · 24/02/2019 20:48

That amount of alcohol wouldn’t make my dh what I’d call ‘drunk’ - no doubt over the limit to drive though.

I’d be cross, definitely.

But if you’re willing to split over it then I don’t think it can have been that great a relationship to start with tbh.

You’re both right tbh. Yes he’s a fucking idiot. But yes, you’re completely overreacting.

Original poster
Drunkatthepetrolstation · 24/02/2019 20:49

We haven't actually split up yet. I dropped him off at home and said there is no point arguing when he is drunk. I will see how he seems when he has sobered up.

I just don't know what planet he is on for that to seem a good idea.

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 24/02/2019 20:50

On its own I would be hugely annoyed and frankly confused about why he needed to do it but not splitting up behaviour.

Sciurus83 · 24/02/2019 20:50

You are not overreacting at all that is awful

username80001 · 24/02/2019 20:50

Yes your right to be annoyed.
But split up that's overreacting . Speak to him tomorrow sober , you need to calm down .

Original poster
Drunkatthepetrolstation · 24/02/2019 21:01

I genuinely wasn't expecting to be told I am over reacting, that's why it is good to get a bit of balance.

I will talk to him when I have calmed down and he is sober. We don't live together and he is working away through the week at the moment so have a good week of space.

OP posts:
justthecat · 24/02/2019 21:04

If the police had seen him he’d of been arrested for drunk driving,so ...

hmwhatsmynameagain · 24/02/2019 21:11

Why is endangering others not a ltb situation?

AppleKatie · 24/02/2019 21:17

There is a moral (if not legal) difference between 15ft in a straight line at a petrol station and driving home from the pub on public roads.

Yes I’d be angry. Yes I would expect it to never ever happen again.
No I wouldn’t end an otherwise happy and stable relationship over this single issue.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/02/2019 00:48

He wasn't on a public road so not sure its technically drunk driving. However I think you are over reacting he parked the car, going at what 2mph? I think you are over reacting.

HappyStripper · 25/02/2019 01:52

Definitely overreacting, sorry but I’d understand if he’d at least driven down a road or something. I’m against drunk driving as much as anyone else but a few feet... in a parking lot... in a straight line... at a grand total of probably 3mph, I can’t really get riled up. Sure it was silly and he probably should’ve just left it but it’s not anything outrageous or even dangerous to be honest.

Also at that number of drinks spaced out over that much time I think most people wouldn’t be much more than a bit tipsy. It would still be completely unacceptable for him to drive home but he wasn’t exactly blacking out I imagine.

ThePants999 · 25/02/2019 02:08

Big overreaction IMO. Major difference between actual driving, where lives are at risk, versus a bit of slow maneuvering, where worst case scenario is a dent in someone's car.

Nat6999 · 25/02/2019 03:20

WalkingDeadFanGirl You can lose your licence for sitting in your car if you are over the limit, because under the law you have intention to drive. I've a friend who came out of the pub, walked down the road to the public car park he had left his car in, decided to move his car so it was under the street lighting in the car park so it would be safer to leave overnight, he drove out of the space he was parked in & when he drove round to the front row there was a police car blocking the exit of the car park. He was breathalysed, arrested, locked up for 12 hours, charged with drink driving. 2 weeks later got a 3 year ban, a 12 month alcohol & probation order & £350 fine. He hadn't even driven on a public road, the council CCTV operatives had watched him walk from the pub & reported him to the police. If you even suspect you are over the limit, you shouldn't be in the drivers seat of a car, what would have happened if he had crashed with a child in the car? On a filling station forecourt anything could have happened, they are busy places with people going to pay & going back to their cars. He could have killed his child or another customer.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/02/2019 03:37

You can lose your licence for sitting in your car if you are over the limit, because under the law you have intention to drive

If you intend to drive on a public road. In this case there was no intention to drive on a public road.

Smotheroffive · 25/02/2019 03:49

This doesn't make sense, why would anyone bother, seriously, too much to drink but decided to climb into driving seat, keys left in car also weird, and its worth clambering over just to move into a parking space which is a completely pointless manoeuvre?!?!

He has lost his brain its senseless, hes fucked up, or this OP is