Aibu to think this is unacceptable drunk driving

[Drunkatthepetrolstation]

Name changed for this.

I picked my dp up from having watched the football with his mates in the pub.

Whilst I was there I saw him drink 2 pints and a double vodka. We then went for dinner and he had another pint. So that's 3 pints and a double vodka that I know about and god knows how much before hand. Needless to say he was drunk.

After eating we went to the petrol station and when I went in to pay he moves the car with my 6 year old in it.

Now I think this is totally utterly unacceptable and we will split up over it.

He thinks that whilst he probably shouldn't have done it, my son wasn't in any danger as he drove maybe 15 -20 feet forward in a straight line. From the pump to the parking spaces outside the petrol station.

He thinks I am over reacting. So AIBU and over reacting or is HBU and an absolute fucking idiot.

People are reacting to the story as you have told it- very drunk man drove car with child in it.
With hindsight, you shouldn't have let him have the keys, left him with your child etc.

However, if you are not used to telling a drunk what to do- stand next to the car and do not move!'- then it won't have occurred to you to do so.

Avoid getting in that situation again- could you have told him to stop drinking, once you'd gone out for the meal?

So he moved the car a few meters in the petrol station - presumably so that someone else could use the pump while you were paying? Huge overreaction here.

I wonder how you would react if you parked somewhere, I parked in a place that blocked you in, and then had a drink (enough to put me over the limit). You asked me to move the car so that you can get out, and I do. Would you think that was appalling too? Drunk driving is absolutely wrong and your partner wasn't terribly sensible. But moving a car a few metres is not drunk driving. The main issue with drunk driving is the slowness of reaction times. If you are only moving at walking pace the reaction time becomes far less of an issue (and no I am not suggesting that someone drives home from the pub at walking pace!!!!!!)

I think that the people telling you not to split up with him are missing the point - he is your boyfriend and at some point you need to decide if the relationship has a future, its different to it being a one-off in a 20 year marriage. If you want to split up with him then do so, simples.

And actually having re read the OP what he did was really dangerous, I thought he had only drunk what you saw, when the reality is that he probably had 5+ pints before.

Exactly @picklemepopcorn. I thought both were safer sat in the car. I thought he would just get back in the car and sit there. I didn't realise I should expressly tell him not to drive.

Well it's a lesson learnt anyway. I don't be meeting up with him after he's been drinking again. I have enough children to look after who actually behave better than a drinker idiot.

I admit I made the wrong call here but I think a lot of people would have and I couldn't have predicted what he would do.

@havingtochangeusernameagain well I would expect you to park considerately in the first place and not block people in, especially if you knew you would be drinking.

I admit I made the wrong call here but I think a lot of people would have and I couldn't have predicted what he would do.

You are not responsible for the twatty behaviour of your boyfriend. Drunk or not he's a bloody adult and should know better!

So he moved the car a few meters in the petrol station - presumably so that someone else could use the pump while you were paying? Huge overreaction here.

I'd be inclined to agree with this.

I've moved my car after a few drinks before (by the nature of my driveway, any one car blocks the rest in). It's at walking pace, it's a very short distance and it's on private land. This does not equate to drink driving.

Your driveway and a busy petrol station aren't quite the same thing and presumably your dc weren't in the car at the time.

People some times have to wait for a couple of mins at a petrol station. I know I have. That doesn't mean drunk people should move car about. My teenager wouldn't dream of moving the car a few feet so people can use the pump. Because it is illegal for him to do so. DP shouldn't have moved the car either, because it is illegal for him to do so.

If someone was waiting then they would have to wait.

"Being drunk in charge and drink driving are both offences that can only be commited on public highways"

Or on areas to which the public have a right of access, such as petrol station forecourts or pub parking lots etc

RTft folks.

This is a short term bf not a partner of 30 years.

Op is NOT respinsible for someone elses stupid behaviour. Its perfectky reasonable to assume someone who admits they are drunk and need to.go home is not giing to do something as ridiculous as drive a car when there is absolutely no need to.

Nobody moves thier car before they pay for the petrol never mind move it OUT the forecourt into a car park.

Stop all this crap blaming op for not babysitting a grown man.
He decided to drink.
He decided he was being the alpha male telling the little woman how to do things.
He decided to move the car for no good reason in a busy petrol station.
People have to wait thier turn at petrol pumps its not life or death.

Op dont listen none of this is your fault.

It’s pointless moving the car as nobody can use the pump until the previous user has paid. I’ve never understood this.

It's not ok! When you are drunk your judgement is impaired, you misjudge distances, speeds, etc. I've been in a car when a learner confused the brake and the accelerator. Easily done, and terrifying.
You do not get behind the wheel when drunk- he wasn't over the limit he was drunk.

"It's at walking pace, it's a very short distance and it's on private land. This does not equate to drink driving." You gonna try to use that as an excuse if you're caught?! Cos I don't think and I would hope it gets you precisely nowhere in getting away with such behaviour.

If you're pissed you don't drive - simple.

Willow - totally agree completely out of order to be blaming op for a grown arse adult mans stupid, illegal, dangerous actions.

Op I'm surprised you're giving him a second chance tbh. I really would dump someone for far less. His behaviour that whole afternoon/Eve was atrocious

20', of course there was no danger.

I agree with all those who are saying it is unacceptable to drive after any alcohol at all - for me it’s that black and white, I’m a totally lightweight after having my baby anyway so I certainly wouldn’t be driving after any booze at all. Also if you were on your own at the petrol station the person behind would have to wait for you to go in and pay anyway before you moved away from the petrol station so I really don’t see the difference.

Unless I’m totally rude and don’t know it - I get petrol, go in and pay and then move out of the petrol station.... I thought that was normal?

I think (with hindsight which is always so great!) I wouldn't have given him the keys. His really over-bearing behaviour in trying to force you to let him do the refuelling whilst heavily drunk was ridiculous behaviour on his part and tells me he has alchohol issues. In that he is immune to his own behaviour when drunk, whereas most do realise that they shouldn't be messing with cars or fuelling when pissed-up.

He then proceeded to come with you to pay which left your DC alone in the car, until you sent him back.

He has alchohol issues and for you to be safe, yes, remove his name from your insurance. You then have taken away any rights he clearly feels he has over your driving and car.

His alchoholism will remain an issue though