Aibu to think this is unacceptable drunk driving

[Drunkatthepetrolstation]

Name changed for this.

I picked my dp up from having watched the football with his mates in the pub.

Whilst I was there I saw him drink 2 pints and a double vodka. We then went for dinner and he had another pint. So that's 3 pints and a double vodka that I know about and god knows how much before hand. Needless to say he was drunk.

After eating we went to the petrol station and when I went in to pay he moves the car with my 6 year old in it.

Now I think this is totally utterly unacceptable and we will split up over it.

He thinks that whilst he probably shouldn't have done it, my son wasn't in any danger as he drove maybe 15 -20 feet forward in a straight line. From the pump to the parking spaces outside the petrol station.

He thinks I am over reacting. So AIBU and over reacting or is HBU and an absolute fucking idiot.

All of his behaviour was totally weird and doesn't make any sense at all, on top of having consumed 8 units in two hours immediately prior to driving! (On top of lunchtime drinking, which is worse for the body processing than later in the day with more meals inside you)

It doesn't make sense that he wanted to fuel the car but you said no, still he got out,despite you being out of the car to do it, and then got in the driver's side, or just hung around whilst you filled up? Or got back in his side then clambered over, or got back out the car and walked round and meantime you left DS in the car alone with keys in the ignition?

I don't understand any of this behaviour tbh.

If he's interfering with your driving as a passenger, then you don't allow him in the car again, he's a danger to you and your DS. With or without drink in him.

He sounds a complete arsehole!

He got out at the same time as me, stood next to me as I filled up, then tried to follow me into the station to pay.
I passed him the keys and told him to go and get back in the car. Which he did, in the drivers side and moved it.

He isn't usually such an idiot other than the driving thing which he genuinely thinks he is being helpful. Being so drunk he must have thought he was being cute? Helpful? Funny? I honestly don't know. He was being overly affectionate and telling me how much he loves me in the pub whilst we I had dinner so probably thought following me about like a puppy was adorable? God knows.

How much older than you is he, OP?

Smotheroffive

On top of lunchtime drinking, which is worse for the body processing than later in the day with more meals inside you

Can you explain this, please?

OP, I don't think you're overreacting. He was drunk (and said as much himself) - he should know not to get into a driving seat. Still not quite sure why you gave him the keys, though

He is 4 years older than me.

I have him the keys so he could get into the car. I didn't think he would get in the drivers side and move it! Drunk or not he is responsible for his own actions. I am not his mother nor the police. It is not my job to make sure He doesn't break the law. The vast majority of people manage to not drive when they are drunk.

Completely unacceptable behaviour. My dad was killed due to a drink driver, a month before I was born. So if I was in your shoes, I’d completely bin him off.

I'm not surprised you let him have the keys- you shouldn't need to think 'is he idiot enough to drive?'. You can't go through life second guessing another adult's behaviour.

What's his take on it now he's sobered up?

He has apologised, admitted he was an idiot, he has no excuse other than he is an idiot and was drunk.

I said I am really annoyed and we will talk when he gets home. I can tell better face to face wether he is genuine or just placating me.

You’re going to split up your family because he made a stupid mistake ?
Yes he was reckless but as you said ,was a straight line and just a few feet .
Make sure he knows you won’t tolerate that stupidity again but don’t divorce him because of it!

We aren't a family. He is my relatively new partner. Not my husband or children's dad, we don't even live together.

I have known him years as friends but have been dating less than a year.

Deal breaker for me. He put your child at risk. You can't go on to have a relationship with him and trust him.

Regardless of whether he was on a petrol station forecourt or a motorway, he could have seriously injured your child, or worse. If his foot slipped and he collided with a pump or the shop itself, his actions could have been catastrophic and killed someone

I'd be thinking very seriously about continuing my relationship with him and whether you can actually trust him around your child and in your home

In a new relationship this would possibly be a deal breaker for me - I wouldn't end a 20 year marriage with kids over it, but if you're still getting to know him it's a bit different. He is showing you his boundaries, and his level of care/ concern over your child, and it's not good.

bluegrey its what it is. Drinking the equivalents amounts in eve or lunch/morning will have differing impacts as the body is in a different state. At cell level everything works on circadian rhythms. A glass of wine at lunch for me for instance would leave me not feeling great after lunch, but in the eve I would feel great. The bodies resilience alters across the day. Look it up. A lot of people avoid lunchtime drinking for this reason
I would struggle to work well after any booze at lunch, it affects differently

He sounds like he was being a typiclly very annoying drunk, and has no place in a car as he's interfering so much.

It didn't sound anything but him being soppy and stupid, but yes, dangerous.

He does this when he's not drunk. I think you are seeing who he is, by degrees. I don't think this is a one off thing.

He could easily.cause an accident with your DS in the car behaving as he does even when sober. It's especially difficult to manage when you are a new driver and can throw you off track quickly.

I can remember telling the kids to stop shouting out stuff when I was driving, he remind me of that.

I don’t think you are over reacting at all.
Some things are not acceptable.

Petrol station = public place.

He would have been breath tested and arrested if he failed the roadside breath test.

To add to that, is he insured to drive that vehicle.

Massive over reaction - but it’s your relationship, you can bin him off just because 🤷🏻‍♀️

He didn’t ‘drive’ drunk, he moved the car forward into a parking space. It might seem like a big deal to a new driver, but it’s really not.

You seem in good company though, masses of over reacting going on.

Totally unacceptable. You have not overreacted.

Deal breaker for me. Sorry. He sounds like a dick with the driving stuff.

Thought the thread could benefit from a diagram.... It wasn't far at all to move the car but the petrol station is very busy.

He drove yhe car out of the petrol station 20 feet while drunk and its not a big deal?

It would have been if he had hit anything/a person or a police cars occupants had been watching him.

He was just being a clever dick cos op told him to sit in car and stop micro managing her. He had to have 'the last word'. It could jave cost him dear.

It actually doesnt matter how far he went HE WAS DRUNK, ITS ILLEHAL AND STUPIDLY DANGEROUS.

Thats enough for the most of us..

I don't think you over reacted at all. I would be absolutely fuming. The risks are so much higher than, say, moving the car onto a driveway, without a child in the car. This is a petrol station, a highly dangerous environment, with a small child in the car. He must have been absolutely bladdered if he had been drinking all day including the large amount he necked while the op was there.

I would find such reckless behaviour hard to forgive if it involved my child. What a fucking idiot.